Fic: Hue (Part I)
Jan. 8th, 2013 01:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boxxsaltzTitle: Hue
Author: boxxsaltz
Rating: R;NC-17
Pairing(s): Yuri/Tiffany
Summary: Because loving just one wasn't enough.
Warning: Mentions of rape, sexual molestation, and self-harm
AN: A psychological request from maknae who threw some darts at a board and this is what happened.
Hue
Part I
Slam!
Yuri jerked awake, knocking the remote in her lap onto the floor. Her eyes blinked against the flickering strobe of lights from the TV and twisted her neck. A new set of keys had been thrown haphazardly on the table by the door next to her own, and a pile of junk mail.
“Fany-ah?”
The sound of shuffling from the kitchen answered her call followed by the suction of the refrigerator opening. Bottles clinked then metal clattered as a top hit the counter.
Yuri turned against the couch, catching Tiffany coming from around the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room of their apartment.
She was still in her work attire – black slacks, a sheer blouse with a colored tank top to make the ensemble pop, but the assortment of accessories Yuri knew Tiffany couldn’t live without were all missing. They must’ve been thrown in the bag slung along her shoulder. Yuri frowned. Tiffany always wore her bag hanging off her elbow.
Tiffany took a sip of the wine cooler in her hand. “Let’s go out.” Yuri looked up to her, eyes narrowing slightly.
“Not tonight, Steph,” said Yuri, trying to not sound offensive or bored.
No matter how natural it had become to see Tiffany change like this, easily slip in an out of people who knew Yuri, all different ways, she was still thrown a little by it.
Because where Tiffany would snip at Yuri for not putting her keys on the hook by the door, Stephanie threw hers down to join Yuri’s. Unlike Tiffany who would call her up, invite her out for coffee after her shift, and maybe a little window-shopping, Stephanie barged into the apartment and did what she wanted. Unlike Tiffany who…
Yuri stopped. What did it matter? This wasn’t Tiffany right now. No matter how much she looked, smelt, and blinked like Tiffany, she wasn’t.
“You say that every time.”
“I’m broke.”
“I’m not- er-” she took a long swig and Yuri watched it go down.
She knew Stephanie hated wine coolers, but Yuri didn’t want to deal with another drunken episode. So she kept the alcohol as diluted as she could without pissing the girl off. It was like a compromise. Tiffany thanked her for this and Stephanie just learned how to deal.
“Tiffany has money.”
“We can’t keep using her card.”
Stephanie shrugged. She padded across the room with a scoff and fell down into a chair in a way Tiffany never would. Her back was slumped and her naked feet were just thrown wherever. Where were Tiffany’s heels?
Yuri looked over by the door. Oh. There they were clumped with her own dirty sneakers, muddied up from the rain. Maybe she was a little grateful Stephanie was the one who came home, but then again, Yuri always loved kissing away Tiffany’s nagging and turning it into pleasurable moans.
She grinned for a moment then let it pass. Steph was here and Steph being here only meant something bad.
Yuri’s eyes shifted away from the TV to look at the woman on the chair across the room. She wasn’t like Tiffany, and she was defiantly nothing like Miyoung. The other two enjoyed Yuri’s closeness. They liked to curl up next to her on the couch, and lean their head on her shoulder. Both for different reasons, but at least they enjoyed her.
Stephanie only tolerated her. The only time they actually clicked was on the dance floor and Stephanie would laugh and smile and praise Yuri for her dancing abilities. Thank God she had taken that class with Hyoyeon when yoga just wasn’t helping her stress like it used to.
“Huh?” Stephanie titled her head.
Yuri’s eyebrows lifted. “What?”
“You’re staring.” She drank down the rest of the wine cooler. Another accumulated from some place on the floor. The top popped off and bounced against the carpet where it rolled under the coffee table.
Yuri ignored it and took a breath. “How was work?”
It was a testing question, but she figured she should try. Usually she asked Tiffany, but Yuri was tired from crunching numbers at some lame business job she had no business working at because she hated it. She just wanted the fire to die out and curl up with Tiffany for the night.
Yuri saw Stephanie’s jaw flex and her hand grip the bottle. Her eyes narrowed – eyes that Yuri could never understand how they managed to look slightly darker than Tiffany’s. Maybe because of the eyeliner? Steph did like her eyeliner.
“Why?”
“Just wondering.” Yuri turned back to the TV, keeping her demeanor and tone light. “The office was a pain in the ass.”
“Isn’t it always?” Stephanie gave a light chuckle. That was good, Yuri thought. Keep it light.
“Yeah, but today Boa went crazy. Fired half the floor.”
“And you?”
“Safe.”
“Hmm.”
Yuri flickered her eyes back over to Stephanie. Her legs were in the chair, feet all over the cushions. She was comfortable. Yuri tried again.
“So, how was work?”
“Shit.”
Yuri nodded. “Taeyeon get onto you again about good customer service?”
Stephanie’s hand tightened on the bottle again. Her lips pressed into a fine line. “Customer shouldn’t have touched me,” she hissed against the glass at her lips.
Yuri’s eyebrow cocked. Now she was concerned. “You could just file a complaint.”
Stephanie choked out a bitter laugh. “Doesn’t make a difference.”
Yuri licked her lips. “It would keep you out of trouble, you know? Instead of going off on every guy who makes a pass at you.” Stephanie glared.
Yuri backtracked.
It would keep you out of trouble, you know? She had sounded put off, a little irritated, and a lot tired.
Stephanie pushed off the chair.
“Steph, wait.”
“I’ll be back in an hour,” she grumbled, picking a coat off the rack by the door. Yuri was amazed the thing hadn’t broken from the amount of jackets, coats and scarves they kept on it. But having them there was easier for Tiffany.
“Do you want me to come with you?” Yuri tried. She jumped off the couch and hurried over, standing a few feet away.
Stephanie looked up at her, but the look in her eyes made Yuri feel small – insignificant. She knew that was never how Stephanie felt. Tiffany told her Stephanie was just that way. She was guarded and that’s what she did best – guard and shield. Yuri already knew that, but reassurance helped when her pride was a little shaken.
“We could hit up that new place in the city. You know, the one with the rainbow, neon lights?”
The corner of Stephanie’s mouth kinked up at Yuri’s attempt. “Bye.”
The door slammed. Yuri knew better than to follow.
-/-/-/-
In high school everyone just thought Tiffany had really bad mood swings. Someone would say something and you could see the switch flip. Just like that. She was new so no one actually knew.
“Everyone, this is Hwang Tiffany. She’s from the states.”
“Annyeonghaseyo!” Her accent was hideous. “Like Mrs. Ahn said, I’m Tiffany Hwang. Please look after me?” She bowed and Yuri went back to talking to Jessica about whatever hot gossip she had heard earlier that morning.
“Stupid Yankee,” one of the boys had hissed while Tiffany was making her way back to a desk, and that was the first time Yuri saw it.
Tiffany stiffened then her eyes changed. Not color. They simply lost those wondrous little crescents and narrowed. That happy smile slipped away as she leaned down to the boy, close to his ear.
The teacher had already begun the lesson and most attention left the foreigner. American students were common and all the same. Except Tiffany who hissed a,
“Say that again, and I’ll slit your throat.”
Being new and from the states, no one knew if she were serious of not. It didn’t matter. Because that boy didn’t say another thing to Tiffany for months, and even then it was only an, “excuse me.”
Yuri didn’t think anything of it. Tiffany was loud and pranced around like a fish taken out of its sea and dropped into a tiny, confining, tank – extremely out of her element. No one really cared to help her, except Jessica who whispered things to her in English to help her through some classes. But Yuri didn’t care.
She never needed to care. Not until she found Tiffany crying one particular day long after school let out in the locker room. Sooyoung had gotten her in trouble again for a prank Yuri had no hand in. But Sooyoung swore on her life and the Lord Almighty Himself that it was Yuri.
She waved Jessica goodbye, promised they could study together another day, and went back to the locker room where the PE coach had assigned her storage room duty.
Yuri followed the sounds of crying to the showers and there she was.
That’s when Yuri started to care.
-/-/-/-
“Yuri-yah?”
Yuri rolled over in bed, eyes squinting against the lamplight. The book she had been reading in attempts to stay up for Stephanie was crumpled beneath her. Pulling it out, she sat it on the night table and sat up, rubbing her eyes.
Blurred vision gone, she looked up into Tiffany’s face. It had to be Tiffany. Only Tiffany called her Yuri-yah like that. She felt a smile come to her lips.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Tiffany leaned in, giving Yuri a chaste kiss.
Her lips tasted of pineapple and liquor, and the last remnants of heat from being pressed up against dancing bodies radiated from Tiffany’s skin. Yuri had long learned not to puff up and get suspicious. Those things never happened. Even if she didn’t always show it, Stephanie cared about Yuri nearly as much as she did Tiffany.
“Should I make you coffee?” Asked Yuri, yawning.
Tiffany shook her head, lifting a bought cup of coffee to her lips. Stephanie must’ve left her sometime in the night. Yuri checked the clock: 4:36am. That was later than usual.
“Come to bed?” It was almost pleading the way it sounded. Yuri had wanted Tiffany to be the one to wake her up on the couch earlier. Not another near sleepless night.
Tiffany gave another shake of her head and sipped at her coffee. Yuri wondered how much Stephanie had to drink.
“Shower first,” said Tiffany. She took one more long drink and sat it down on the nightstand before leaving.
Yuri leaned back against the headboard, sighing as she heard the shower begin to run. She picked up the coffee and brought it to her nose. Vanilla Hazelnut. She took a sip and made a face at how cold it had gotten.
The numbers continued to blink later and later on the clock. Yuri felt her eyes begin to droop as the water finally turned off and Tiffany came back into the room in a long shirt and shorts.
Tiffany settled into bed next to her, body naturally snuggling up against Yuri’s side. She smelt of strawberries and cream and felt like what Yuri imagined clouds would feel like brushing up on your skin.
Scooting down, Yuri placed herself comfortably for Tiffany to rest her head on her shoulder and draped an arm over her stomach. Yuri cradled her in one arm, using the other to peel damp hair from her forehead.
“Long night?”
“My feet hurt,” Tiffany groaned. Stephanie really did love to dance.
Yuri kissed her forehead. “You should sleep.”
“We were supposed to have a movie date tonight.”
“It’s okay.”
“I tried but…”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
Tiffany craned her neck back, casting up sad eyes. “You’re too good to me.”
“No.” Yuri hooked her fingers under her chin. “I just love you.”
Tiffany’s nose scrunched and she laughed, pinching Yuri in the side. “You’re so cheesy sometimes.”
“Maybe.” She leaned down, taking Tiffany’s lips with her own.
Green mint toothpaste had taken away the taste of alcohol. Yuri smiled into the kiss. This was her Tiffany. She knew it in the way her full lips shaped with hers and knew exactly when to part and just the right way to swipe her tongue.
“Sleep, okay?” Yuri breathed, her eyes still closed and forehead pressed against Tiffany’s.
“Mmm-okay.” Tiffany kissed her again, taking the very breath from Yuri’s lungs. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“Okay.”
“Goodnight, Yuri-yah.”
“Goodnight, Fany.”
-/-/-/-
Yuri didn’t really bat a lash when Tiffany corrected her for calling her Tiffany and not Miyoung. For all Yuri knew, Miyoung was her Korean name. It made it a lot easier to address her. Saying Tippani, void of any and all ‘F’s,’ made Yuri feel like she wasn’t making an A+ in English.
Then again, Jessica still snickered sometimes when Yuri called out “Jesshika”. Yuri settled for Sica. It was easier and saved her the taunts.
“Are you, uh, okay?” asked Yuri.
Tiff- Miyoung nodded sheepishly, looking up at Yuri who sat on the shower bench with watery, brown eyes. Yuri ignored how glossy and catching those eyes were. They were brown like everyone else, but they were softer. They were like milk chocolate and made Yuri think of kittens and all things plush.
“Are you sure?” Yuri pressed. She had been crying rather hard. Hard and nasty. Like the way Jessica did with the snot and the gasping. Except unlike Jessica, Yuri didn’t tease Miyoung about it.
“I wanna go home,” Miyoung squeaked out, voice soft and brittle.
So then go home, Yuri thought. School was over anyway. But maybe she didn’t mean her home in Korea. The one rumored to be a huge mansion she lived in at the heart of Seoul with five butlers and three maids who spoke six languages fluently.
“Uh-” Yuri chewed on her lip, leaning her back against the cold, shower wall. “Where’s that?”
Miyoung blinked, her long, watery lashes moving up and down rapidly. She turned to Yuri. “I don’t know…”
“You don’t?” Yuri deadpanned, and then thought about it when Miyoung pulled in her lower lip, shrank back against the corner and shook her head like a child getting reprimanded.
She was a foreigner. She probably didn’t know where anything was…then again it had been at least two months, and even Jessica picked it up when she came in during middle school. But who was she to judge?
“Maybe…” Yuri thought about the storage room and the clutter inside. She now hated herself for being one of the ones who just threw volleyballs and kneepads into the room instead of stocking them properly.
She sighed. “I have to clean the storage room, but maybe I could take you back? Do you know the address?”
Miyoung shook her head. Yuri held back an eye roll.
“Could you call…” she gave up. If she knew someone’s number she wouldn’t be sitting in here crying over- Yuri didn’t even know that. She ran a hand through her hair. “I’ll help you home when I’m done, okay?”
“Okay.” Miyoung smiled so her eyes bent into perfect little crescents much like they had when Tiffany introduced herself.
Yuri looked away, ignoring how her stomach fluttered lightly at seeing it. “Just…I’ll be quick.”
-/-/-/-
It was when Boa walked over to her cubicle, told her to pack her things and move to the office room down the hall that Yuri realized what time of the year it was. More specifically, the month that had snuck up on her having been neck high in paper work and rendered near deaf from phone calls.
The sudden promotion she was given was second on her mind as she spread her desk calendar onto the mahogany one that was now hers. The amount of drawers and secret compartments it had was truly intimidating.
Yuri would figure out how to fill them up soon. Maybe stash the chocolate Miyoung always gave her? It could help the clients settle down.
“I’m sorry, but the policy doesn’t permit that. I’m sorry for your unfortunate bankruptcy. Chocolate?” It was perfect.
Fingers smoothing out the wrinkles, Yuri eyed the amount of X’s that were marking out the days in May. The month had meant nothing to Yuri until a long semester, holiday breaks, and a lot of awkward weeks passed from the time she had met Miyoung in that shower to when she learned of the girl’s past.
Yuri scolded herself for not realizing it earlier. It explained Tiffany’s tension at work. It explained Stephanie. It explained the classical music Yuri woke up to, and a disgruntled Tiffany sitting on the couch she had reluctantly left her on to get to work.
“How many vacation days do I get with the promotion?” she asked her coworker next door instead of Boa, who would probably dismiss her back to the cubicle.
The woman looked up, eyebrow cocked. “Ten?”
“Thanks.”
Yuri thanked Boa properly - bow and all - and lied through her teeth about a sudden death in the family that would take her out to the country the three remaining days of the business week plus the weekend.
If Boa fired her, she’d just have to hear it through voicemail when she got back.
Yuri grabbed her lunch out of the company fridge and left the building.
-/-/-/-
Miyoung didn’t live in a mansion it turned out. Yuri was a little disappointed. She could only imagine Jessica’s face when she told her that she got to go to the new girl’s house and get pampered by all the maids and butlers and eat fancy dishes like caviar. Caviar was fancy, right?
Yuri stood awkward and stiff on the porch as a woman, maybe a couple yeads older than them, took Miyoung into a hug saying things like,
“You should’ve called. Dinner’s already cold. You’re doing the dishes tonight, Tiff.”
That was all Yuri understood of the English she spoke at least. Everything else was a clutter of words. However, she didn’t miss when the woman called her Tiff and not Miyoung.
“Hi.”
Yuri blinked up to the woman’s face. She resembled Tiffany somewhat, but older. Not old enough to be her mother so sister, maybe?
“I’m Michelle.” Well her Korean was better than her dongsaeng’s.
“Yuri.”
Michelle made a face down at Miyoung – or was it Tiffany?
“You told me you didn’t have any friends.”
“I don’t,” she mumbled.
Yuri pretended not to hear. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Miyoung?”
“Mi…” Michelle trailed off. Her eyes flickered down to Tiffany who suddenly looked panicked. Her porcelain skin flushed a shade whiter and Yuri wondered what all the fuss was about.
“Oh, hah!” Michelle suddenly laughed. She draped an arm around Tiffany’s neck. “I thought you told me you weren’t going to go by your Korean name, TIff. Liar.”
“Don’t tease.” Tiffany ducked from under the arm. She looked up at Yuri, a fear and hesitation in those warm eyes. “Thanks for, uh, walking me home.”
“It was nothing.” Except it was something.
Trying to get Miyoung to remember her passcode on her phone in order to get some sort of number had been one obstacle. There had been no mom, dad, unnie, or oppa in her contacts for her to know who to call.
Yuri ended up shooting a text to Yoona, who always seemed to know these sorts of things. Probably from breaking into the office and trading out her, Sooyoung, and Sunny’s records. They were always in trouble for something.
The best Yoona could give her was a general area she figured Tiffany lived in. Yuri took them there in the bus and was grateful Miyoung recognized the place and led them straight to the house.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” asked Tiffany. “I can heat it up. It should still be good.”
The way she said it made Yuri feel like she didn’t have another option. It was near the tone she had used when she threatened that boy at the beginning of the year. Yuri didn’t want to see those narrowed eyes again.
“Sure.” She shrugged.
It was after sending off a text to her mom about being at a friend’s, and a lukewarm dinner, that Yuri found herself awkwardly sitting at Tiffany’s desk chair in her room.
Tiffany sat on the edge of her bed, hands clenching and unclenching uncomfortably in her lap. They didn’t speak. After the strained conversation at the dinner table, they had found silence was better. Yuri didn’t really know what to say and Tiffany was on edge.
“Listen,” Tiffany began, husky voice quaking. Yuri noted classical music playing low from an ihome on her bookshelf. “My name is Tiffany, okay?”
Yuri cocked an eyebrow, shifting in the seat. “Okay?”
“So whatever happens, if anyone ever asks, I’m Tiffany.”
“Yeah, sure, that’s your name. I got it.”
“No, you don’t.”
Tiffany stood up, she paced, making a full sweep of the room. Yuri started to feel tense herself. She had heard things about the new girl. She heard she was strange, sometimes had a short temper, and even sometimes got really quiet and withdrew. Seeing her walk around in circles only made Yuri want to believe the rumors more.
“If I tell you this,” Tiffany began again. Yuri looked up from the thread she was picking at in the desk chair. Tiffany looked serious. She sat up straighter. “If I tell you, you have to promise me never to tell anyone. Ever.”
Yuri considered dragging her fingers along her lips like a zipper. She dropped the idea. This wasn’t time to joke.
“Okay.”
With a shaky breath, Tiffany opened her mouth and spoke.
-/-/-/-
“A vacation?”
“We can leave in the morning.”
Tiffany looked at her baffled over the glass counter of assorted perfumes and colognes. “What brought this on?”
Yuri leaned her elbows on the counter. “A promotion.” She grinned.
Tiffany’s jaw dropped. “You’re lying.”
“Got my office today,” Yuri said, trying to sound indifferent. “Mahogany desk.”
“Leather chair?”
“Mhm.” she stood up, hand on her hip and picking her nails with the thumb of the other. “The raise will cover everything.” she turned back to Tiffany who was beaming. “What do you say?”
“Yes. Yes, let’s go.” She clapped her hands them frowned, expression faltering. “But Taeyeon…”
“Called her on the way here.” Yuri lowered her voice, feigning the best façade of grief she could. “My poor, poor cousin JuHan passed away. His funeral is this weekend.”
Tiffany narrowed her eye, lips smirking. “You didn’t.” Yuri nodded and Tiffany laughed. “Can we go to the beach?”
“We can go anywhere you want.”
-/-/-/-
Yuri had gone home with a full mind and an uneasy stomach.
“You see…my name is Tiffany but it’s also Miyoung. And sometimes it’s Stephanie but- I’m confusing you aren’t I?”
Yuri had shaken her head but Tiffany saw through it. She didn’t want to make it harder for her, but maybe pretending to understand the random stream of words was making sense was the wrong thing.
Tiffany needed her to understand – really understand. That was the only way Yuri was going to be able to leave.
“I’m not a freak okay? So don’t look at me like that. It’s not helping.”
Yuri’s knuckles wrapped at a familiar, navy blue door. Jessica didn’t say anything as she walked in and went straight up to Jessica’s room. She made herself comfortable on her bed that was scattered with books and homework papers.
Jessica came in a moment later with a bowl of shrimp crackers and bottles of Aloe Vera juice. Yuri smiled. Jessica knew her too well.
Placing the food and drinks on the bed, she shooed Yuri to one side and climbed on, picking up her book. They didn’t say anything. Jessica must’ve seen it on Yuri’s face.
She needed time to think and sort out her thoughts. Something she could never do in the quiet of her house, nearly always void of parents. But she could always figure out the meaning of life and find the cure for terminal illnesses while lying in Jessica’s bed to the scratching of her pencil while she did homework and the rumble of rock music playing from her little sister’s room.
“Sica.”
“Hm?”
She stared up at the light fixture that hugged a single light bulb. “Have you ever found out something about someone – something sort of weird – but you promised you wouldn’t freak out about it so you try to pretend it’s not weird?”
The pencil stopped scratching and Yuri could’ve sworn Krystal switched off her music for a second.
“What?”
Yuri closed her eyes. She shouldn’t have brought it up. But Jessica was her best friend, and regardless of what anyone else said, she was smart in a way that people didn’t get. Her grades weren’t always the best, but sometimes she could say some profound things. Or maybe Yuri thought they were profound because she often ended up sounding a little moronic.
“If you found out someone was…different would you still talk to them?”
“What do you mean different?”
“Just, you know, different.”
“You like girls, that’s different, and I still like you.”
Yuri opened her eyes, sneering. Jessica shrugged her shoulders. “Not like that different.”
“Then stop speaking in code.”
“I can’t. I promised.”
“Promised who?”
Yuri bit her bottom lip. She was a loyal friend and true to her word. Even if Tiffany wasn’t truly her friend – or used to not be – she couldn’t bring herself to tell. Not when she was still trying to get it herself.
“That new girl.”
Jessica’s eyebrows shot up. “Tiffany?” she stressed the ‘F’s’. Yuri nodded and Jessica shut her book. “What happened? Is this why you ditched me?”
“No. You were there when the coach assigned me cleaning.”
“Right, whatever. Tell me.”
“Sica, I can’t. I really can’t, okay? I just need your opinion without you knowing.”
She watched Jessica get angry, pout, feign hurt, and then settle into a bored expression of defeat. “Fine, what is it?”
Yuri slid herself up so her back rested against the headboard. She juggled the right words to use in her head.
“I can’t tell you why, I just do. I’m not always them. It comes and it goes but only when things…happen. I can’t help it. Please, don’t look at me like that, Yuri-yah.”
Yuri looked down at her lap where her fingers wrung around each other much like Tiffany had done. “If I wasn’t always me would you still be my friend?” she asked, softly.
Jessica titled her head, knees pulling up to her chest. “What do you mean?”
“Like,” she chewed on her tongue, brow creasing in concentration. “If I acted like Sooyoung sometimes, then Sunny at others, and then went around causing problems like Yoona on other days.”
“Oh,” Jessica said in a way that sounded like she knew and turned away.
Yuri looked over at her, wondering if she did. Wondering if she could put those tiny pieces together and understand what she really meant by it.
When Jessica finally spoke, Yuri felt a little dumb and a whole lot judgmental. “Who are you at the end of the day?”
Yuri’s jaw flexed. “Me, I guess.”
Jessica smiled. That was it. She didn’t have to tell Yuri the rest because Yuri understood.
“If I weren’t them, too, I don’t know where I’d be. I wouldn’t be here, I know that.” Tiffany had stopped pacing and sat in the middle of her bed, knees pulled up and worry in her eyes. “I’m Tiffany, okay? That’s who I am, and I don’t like sharing, but that’s the only way I can survive. I’m Tiffany…but I’m them too.”
Yuri walked into the classroom the next day and took her seat behind Jessica. It was right before the bell rang that Tiffany slipped inside and hurried to her desk, head down and eyes avoiding Yuri.
“Way to cut it close, Fany-ah,” she whispered as the teacher slid the door shut and took place behind the front desk. Tiffany looked over at her hesitantly. “Me and Sica are cutting for lunch today. Wanna come?”
Tiffany blinked. “Really?” she mouthed more than said as the lesson started. Yuri nodded and Tiffany pushed on a smile. “Yeah, sure, okay.”
At the end of the day, Yuri saw, she was just Tiffany.
-/-/-/-
“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends! Make it last forever, friendship never ends!”
Yuri eyed Tiffany out the corner of her eye as she drove them through them out of the city. The windows were down, wind blowing through the car, causing their hair to fan and bellow out.
Tiffany drummed on her knees, singing loud enough to rival the whoosh of the wind. Yuri could feel the comings of a headache begin to creep into her temples. She hoped she packed the pain reliever.
“Yuri-yah!” Tiffany all but yelled. Yuri winced behind her sunglasses. Why did she love this woman? Oh right. Because that loud voice was what really got her going when she had her pinned-
“Sing with me!” Tiffany slapped her shoulder.
Yuri made a face. “I don’t know the lyrics.”
“Yes, you do. I’ve heard you singing it in the shower.” Busted. “Your pronunciation has gotten better.” Of course it had. Yuri learned how to pronounce F’s, H’s, Q’s and V’s from the murmur of English Tiffany would breathe into her ear.
Yuri didn’t know why such a language made her shiver all over. She had learned it in school, and on few occasions, had to use it at work. But there was something about Tiffany, murmuring dirty little things to her that made Yuri shudder the hardest.
She felt a shiver course through her before Tiffany poked her, and Yuri opened her mouth to sing.
Tiffany grinned next to her and flipped to harmony. Yuri thought the song was tacky and cheap, but Tiffany loved it, so Yuri found away to love it too. Mostly the little dance Tiffany did while she sang it. That was what she loved most.
“Oh, an ice cream stand,” said Tiffany, suddenly dropping out of the harmony.
Yuri spat out a few more words before she stopped and looked in the rearview mirror. “You want some?”
Tiffany nodded and she wondered why she had asked in the first place.
Making an illegal U-turn at a light that specifically told her not to, Yuri took them back to the stand and ordered them two coffee cones. Extra caramel on Tiffany’s.
-/-/-/-
“I wanna try something, okay?”
Yuri looked up at Tiffany who sat on the shower bench, legs pulled up on the wood and back against the front divider. It was corny in a cliché, typical sort of way how they had made a habit of meeting up in the shower stall.
Tiffany claimed it was because of the drips from the leaky faucets and the way the air condition hummed a gurgling sort of sound. Yuri just liked it because Tiffany was in there with her.
Yuri thought this routine would’ve ended after they returned from winter break. She thought Tiffany was comfortable with spending hours with her at her house or even a few at Tiffany’s when she asked if Yuri could ride with her home.
However, here they were, a new semester, new shoes, and hairstyles, but in that old shower stall with the gurgling vents and the pitter-patter of dripping water. Okay. So maybe Yuri did love it for those things too.
“Yeah, okay,” Yuri said after a moment of silence.
Tiffany’s legs dropped off the bench and she turned so she was sitting on it facing the opposite wall. “I’ve never actually done this before.” she said, slowly.
Yuri’s eyebrows tweaked up, suddenly alert and heart thrumming at the anticipation of what Tiffany was getting at.
“During the break, I-” she titled her head, one side of her face scrunching in thought. Yuri bit back a smile at seeing it. She loved that look. “I mean we- we got really close.”
Yuri felt a flame ignite like the thumb strike on a lighter in her chest. The feeling wasn’t new. It had steadily grown, from orange to red to blue the more time she spent with Tiffany. It made her insides mushy and heart spring into strange choreography like she saw the dance team perform at rallies.
It burned the most when Tiffany would shyly reach over and grab her hand while they sat on the couch, watching a movie. She wouldn’t hold it long, but when she did, Yuri felt her confidence slip away and her palms sweat.
Just before they could sweat enough to be disgusting, Tiffany would pull away, smile shyly, and turn back to the movie.
At first it confused Yuri. She took it as skin-ship at first. Jessica and she had been like that in middle school, but with Jessica it hadn’t felt like this. It didn’t make Yuri tense and shift and tell herself over and over again to calm down. They were just holding hands. Relax. Be cool.
“Yeah,” Yuri’s vice croaked from nonuse. She shifted on the floor, easing the ache in her backside for moment. “I guess we did.”
“You guess?”
“No, I know we did,” she said with more certainty. Tiffany liked certainty. “We did.”
“So you…” Tiffany started to play with her hands in her lap. Yuri wondered if she was singing classical music in her head. Tiffany always listened or hummed classical when she was uneasy. It helped her keep her.
“So you feel it too, right?” she turned to Yuri, gaze all vulnerable and quivering. “Like, you felt…right?”
“Yeah, I did,” Yuri said, quickly. She didn’t like to see Tiffany struggle.
Tiffany let out a long breath of relief. “Okay.” She had gotten over that milestone. Yuri smiled at the obvious way her shoulders had relaxed a bit after clearing that up.
Yuri on the other hand was all wound up. Numbness in her rear aside, her whole body was buzzing. She wanted to say something to hurry Tiffany along, but she knew never to rush Tiffany. She didn’t like that. So Yuri always allowed Tiffany to set the pace.
“I want to try something.”
“Okay.”
“Come here but stay on the floor,” she grimaced. “Is that okay?”
Yuri answered by pushing to her knees and walking on them over to Tiffany who motioned for her to position herself in front of her.
“Give me your hands.” Tiffany directed. Yuri offered them, palm up, and Tiffany took them into hers. She held onto them, letting her warmth course into Yuri for a moment before placing them on her knees.
“Keep them there, okay?”
“Okay.” Yuri nodded. When Tiffany realized she wouldn’t move, she drew her hands off Yuri’s and dragged them along the cloth of her skirt, wiping away the sweat.
Wide, blinking eyes stared down into Yuri and she willed her body to stop shaking just as much as Tiffany was. Both for different reasons, she was sure. Tiffany looked on the verge of a heart attack, whereas Yuri just felt like she would die of anticipation.
“Don’t move,” Tiffany said, voice tight. Yuri nodded. “Okay?”
She needed verbal assurance. “I won’t move.”
“Okay.” Tiffany nodded, then said to herself again, “Okay.”
Clammy hands cupped Yuri’s face, fingertips burning like the tips of candles on Yuri’s skin. She stifled a gasp and swallowed it. She didn’t want to freak Tiffany out.
“Don’t.” Tiffany leaned forward, her breath becoming warmer the closer she drew. “Don’t move. Just-“
“Fany-ah.” Yuri cooed, her breath licking back into her own face as Tiffany inched nearer. Yuri could see the lighter flakes of brown in those beautiful eyes. She swooned and muttered, “I promise I won’t move.”
“Okay.” Tiffany breathed back and Yuri closed her eyes.
It felt like hours had passed, that the sun could’ve gone down completely and risen on a new day before she felt Tiffany’s lips touch her.
The only way Yuri could describe it was electric. Like she had run on carpet with her socks on all day, and the first thing to make that static react was the simple touch of Tiffany’s lips.
Her entire body focused on that one point. Just her lips. Her lips that were now pressed to Tiffany’s.
If Tiffany hadn’t pulled away, Yuri was sure she would’ve passed from suffocation. She sucked in a breath as calmly as she could and opened her eyes to see Tiffany’s blushing face and terrified eyes peering down at her.
“Say something.” Tiffany panicked. Yuri tried to catch her breath. “Yuri, say something. Please.”
“Whoa,” was the only thing that came to her lips. By the way Tiffany’s face fell, she realized the many meanings that could hold. “That was- I don’t know what to say. It was…”
“Did you like it?”
“Yes,” Yuri said. How could she not? She saw Tiffany’s face light back up. “I did. I did. A lot.”
“Can I try it again, maybe?”
“Yes.” please do.
Tiffany chewed on her bottom lip as she peeled her hands away to wipe on her skirt again. Yuri was glad when they returned to her face, trapping her in warmth all over again.
“But you still can’t move.”
“I won’t.”
This time Tiffany was quicker, and just like the first time, Yuri’s heart lurched. She fought against tilting her head, or deepening the kiss the way her body yearned to do. She demanded her hands to stay on her knees and not come up to wrap arms around Tiffany and pull her into her.
It was surly torture having such a space between them, but Yuri found satisfaction that they were connected in this way. In a way Tiffany had admitted to not have been with anyone else.
The thought alone made Yuri smile against Tiffany’s lips.
Tiffany pulled away for a moment before coming back in a little stronger. Her head titled and Yuri countered, waiting for Tiffany to start moving her lips, tasting Yuri before she began to do the same.
It was stupid, but Yuri thought Tiffany tasted like skittles and bright, neon lights. Her lips felt soft and left a colorful impression. It made Yuri see things in vivid, technicolor and wonky shapes she was certain only people under hallucinogens saw.
“Yuri,” Tiffany muttered and Yuri made the mistake of taking the next step.
Her tongue swiped along Tiffany’s lips, grazing against Tiffany’s own who drew away, back smacking against the glossed metal of the shower stall. The hands on her face turned clawed as Tiffany stared down at her, shock on her face and warm eyes slowly fading away.
Yuri cursed inwardly as Tiffany’s lashes fluttered once - twice. Her hands yanked away from Yuri and her lip pulled back slightly.
“Get your hands off me,” Tiffany hissed. “Now.”
Yuri drew back, putting distance between her and Tiffany. She fought to find her voice. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you touch me – don’t you touch her.”
Yuri frowned. “Steph-”
“Get out.”
“Stephanie,” she tried again. It wasn’t the first time Yuri had encountered Stephanie.
She learned that the one who threatened that boy had been Stephanie bleeding through Tiffany. But this wasn’t Stephanie just wiggling through a crack. This was Stephanie completely, and Yuri had learned to just back off and leave her alone.
“You know I wouldn’t hurt her.”
“I said leave.”
Yuri nodded. “Okay, okay, I’ll leave.”
She reached over to grab her bag off the floor in the corner, and pushed to her feet. Stephanie watched her all the while, body tense and coiled. Yuri offered a bow.
“Tell Fany to call me?”
Stephanie scoffed. Yuri left.
Tiffany wouldn’t get the message.
Part II
Author: boxxsaltz
Rating: R;NC-17
Pairing(s): Yuri/Tiffany
Summary: Because loving just one wasn't enough.
Warning: Mentions of rape, sexual molestation, and self-harm
AN: A psychological request from maknae who threw some darts at a board and this is what happened.
Hue
Part I
Slam!
Yuri jerked awake, knocking the remote in her lap onto the floor. Her eyes blinked against the flickering strobe of lights from the TV and twisted her neck. A new set of keys had been thrown haphazardly on the table by the door next to her own, and a pile of junk mail.
“Fany-ah?”
The sound of shuffling from the kitchen answered her call followed by the suction of the refrigerator opening. Bottles clinked then metal clattered as a top hit the counter.
Yuri turned against the couch, catching Tiffany coming from around the wall that separated the kitchen from the living room of their apartment.
She was still in her work attire – black slacks, a sheer blouse with a colored tank top to make the ensemble pop, but the assortment of accessories Yuri knew Tiffany couldn’t live without were all missing. They must’ve been thrown in the bag slung along her shoulder. Yuri frowned. Tiffany always wore her bag hanging off her elbow.
Tiffany took a sip of the wine cooler in her hand. “Let’s go out.” Yuri looked up to her, eyes narrowing slightly.
“Not tonight, Steph,” said Yuri, trying to not sound offensive or bored.
No matter how natural it had become to see Tiffany change like this, easily slip in an out of people who knew Yuri, all different ways, she was still thrown a little by it.
Because where Tiffany would snip at Yuri for not putting her keys on the hook by the door, Stephanie threw hers down to join Yuri’s. Unlike Tiffany who would call her up, invite her out for coffee after her shift, and maybe a little window-shopping, Stephanie barged into the apartment and did what she wanted. Unlike Tiffany who…
Yuri stopped. What did it matter? This wasn’t Tiffany right now. No matter how much she looked, smelt, and blinked like Tiffany, she wasn’t.
“You say that every time.”
“I’m broke.”
“I’m not- er-” she took a long swig and Yuri watched it go down.
She knew Stephanie hated wine coolers, but Yuri didn’t want to deal with another drunken episode. So she kept the alcohol as diluted as she could without pissing the girl off. It was like a compromise. Tiffany thanked her for this and Stephanie just learned how to deal.
“Tiffany has money.”
“We can’t keep using her card.”
Stephanie shrugged. She padded across the room with a scoff and fell down into a chair in a way Tiffany never would. Her back was slumped and her naked feet were just thrown wherever. Where were Tiffany’s heels?
Yuri looked over by the door. Oh. There they were clumped with her own dirty sneakers, muddied up from the rain. Maybe she was a little grateful Stephanie was the one who came home, but then again, Yuri always loved kissing away Tiffany’s nagging and turning it into pleasurable moans.
She grinned for a moment then let it pass. Steph was here and Steph being here only meant something bad.
Yuri’s eyes shifted away from the TV to look at the woman on the chair across the room. She wasn’t like Tiffany, and she was defiantly nothing like Miyoung. The other two enjoyed Yuri’s closeness. They liked to curl up next to her on the couch, and lean their head on her shoulder. Both for different reasons, but at least they enjoyed her.
Stephanie only tolerated her. The only time they actually clicked was on the dance floor and Stephanie would laugh and smile and praise Yuri for her dancing abilities. Thank God she had taken that class with Hyoyeon when yoga just wasn’t helping her stress like it used to.
“Huh?” Stephanie titled her head.
Yuri’s eyebrows lifted. “What?”
“You’re staring.” She drank down the rest of the wine cooler. Another accumulated from some place on the floor. The top popped off and bounced against the carpet where it rolled under the coffee table.
Yuri ignored it and took a breath. “How was work?”
It was a testing question, but she figured she should try. Usually she asked Tiffany, but Yuri was tired from crunching numbers at some lame business job she had no business working at because she hated it. She just wanted the fire to die out and curl up with Tiffany for the night.
Yuri saw Stephanie’s jaw flex and her hand grip the bottle. Her eyes narrowed – eyes that Yuri could never understand how they managed to look slightly darker than Tiffany’s. Maybe because of the eyeliner? Steph did like her eyeliner.
“Why?”
“Just wondering.” Yuri turned back to the TV, keeping her demeanor and tone light. “The office was a pain in the ass.”
“Isn’t it always?” Stephanie gave a light chuckle. That was good, Yuri thought. Keep it light.
“Yeah, but today Boa went crazy. Fired half the floor.”
“And you?”
“Safe.”
“Hmm.”
Yuri flickered her eyes back over to Stephanie. Her legs were in the chair, feet all over the cushions. She was comfortable. Yuri tried again.
“So, how was work?”
“Shit.”
Yuri nodded. “Taeyeon get onto you again about good customer service?”
Stephanie’s hand tightened on the bottle again. Her lips pressed into a fine line. “Customer shouldn’t have touched me,” she hissed against the glass at her lips.
Yuri’s eyebrow cocked. Now she was concerned. “You could just file a complaint.”
Stephanie choked out a bitter laugh. “Doesn’t make a difference.”
Yuri licked her lips. “It would keep you out of trouble, you know? Instead of going off on every guy who makes a pass at you.” Stephanie glared.
Yuri backtracked.
It would keep you out of trouble, you know? She had sounded put off, a little irritated, and a lot tired.
Stephanie pushed off the chair.
“Steph, wait.”
“I’ll be back in an hour,” she grumbled, picking a coat off the rack by the door. Yuri was amazed the thing hadn’t broken from the amount of jackets, coats and scarves they kept on it. But having them there was easier for Tiffany.
“Do you want me to come with you?” Yuri tried. She jumped off the couch and hurried over, standing a few feet away.
Stephanie looked up at her, but the look in her eyes made Yuri feel small – insignificant. She knew that was never how Stephanie felt. Tiffany told her Stephanie was just that way. She was guarded and that’s what she did best – guard and shield. Yuri already knew that, but reassurance helped when her pride was a little shaken.
“We could hit up that new place in the city. You know, the one with the rainbow, neon lights?”
The corner of Stephanie’s mouth kinked up at Yuri’s attempt. “Bye.”
The door slammed. Yuri knew better than to follow.
-/-/-/-
In high school everyone just thought Tiffany had really bad mood swings. Someone would say something and you could see the switch flip. Just like that. She was new so no one actually knew.
“Everyone, this is Hwang Tiffany. She’s from the states.”
“Annyeonghaseyo!” Her accent was hideous. “Like Mrs. Ahn said, I’m Tiffany Hwang. Please look after me?” She bowed and Yuri went back to talking to Jessica about whatever hot gossip she had heard earlier that morning.
“Stupid Yankee,” one of the boys had hissed while Tiffany was making her way back to a desk, and that was the first time Yuri saw it.
Tiffany stiffened then her eyes changed. Not color. They simply lost those wondrous little crescents and narrowed. That happy smile slipped away as she leaned down to the boy, close to his ear.
The teacher had already begun the lesson and most attention left the foreigner. American students were common and all the same. Except Tiffany who hissed a,
“Say that again, and I’ll slit your throat.”
Being new and from the states, no one knew if she were serious of not. It didn’t matter. Because that boy didn’t say another thing to Tiffany for months, and even then it was only an, “excuse me.”
Yuri didn’t think anything of it. Tiffany was loud and pranced around like a fish taken out of its sea and dropped into a tiny, confining, tank – extremely out of her element. No one really cared to help her, except Jessica who whispered things to her in English to help her through some classes. But Yuri didn’t care.
She never needed to care. Not until she found Tiffany crying one particular day long after school let out in the locker room. Sooyoung had gotten her in trouble again for a prank Yuri had no hand in. But Sooyoung swore on her life and the Lord Almighty Himself that it was Yuri.
She waved Jessica goodbye, promised they could study together another day, and went back to the locker room where the PE coach had assigned her storage room duty.
Yuri followed the sounds of crying to the showers and there she was.
That’s when Yuri started to care.
-/-/-/-
“Yuri-yah?”
Yuri rolled over in bed, eyes squinting against the lamplight. The book she had been reading in attempts to stay up for Stephanie was crumpled beneath her. Pulling it out, she sat it on the night table and sat up, rubbing her eyes.
Blurred vision gone, she looked up into Tiffany’s face. It had to be Tiffany. Only Tiffany called her Yuri-yah like that. She felt a smile come to her lips.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” Tiffany leaned in, giving Yuri a chaste kiss.
Her lips tasted of pineapple and liquor, and the last remnants of heat from being pressed up against dancing bodies radiated from Tiffany’s skin. Yuri had long learned not to puff up and get suspicious. Those things never happened. Even if she didn’t always show it, Stephanie cared about Yuri nearly as much as she did Tiffany.
“Should I make you coffee?” Asked Yuri, yawning.
Tiffany shook her head, lifting a bought cup of coffee to her lips. Stephanie must’ve left her sometime in the night. Yuri checked the clock: 4:36am. That was later than usual.
“Come to bed?” It was almost pleading the way it sounded. Yuri had wanted Tiffany to be the one to wake her up on the couch earlier. Not another near sleepless night.
Tiffany gave another shake of her head and sipped at her coffee. Yuri wondered how much Stephanie had to drink.
“Shower first,” said Tiffany. She took one more long drink and sat it down on the nightstand before leaving.
Yuri leaned back against the headboard, sighing as she heard the shower begin to run. She picked up the coffee and brought it to her nose. Vanilla Hazelnut. She took a sip and made a face at how cold it had gotten.
The numbers continued to blink later and later on the clock. Yuri felt her eyes begin to droop as the water finally turned off and Tiffany came back into the room in a long shirt and shorts.
Tiffany settled into bed next to her, body naturally snuggling up against Yuri’s side. She smelt of strawberries and cream and felt like what Yuri imagined clouds would feel like brushing up on your skin.
Scooting down, Yuri placed herself comfortably for Tiffany to rest her head on her shoulder and draped an arm over her stomach. Yuri cradled her in one arm, using the other to peel damp hair from her forehead.
“Long night?”
“My feet hurt,” Tiffany groaned. Stephanie really did love to dance.
Yuri kissed her forehead. “You should sleep.”
“We were supposed to have a movie date tonight.”
“It’s okay.”
“I tried but…”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
Tiffany craned her neck back, casting up sad eyes. “You’re too good to me.”
“No.” Yuri hooked her fingers under her chin. “I just love you.”
Tiffany’s nose scrunched and she laughed, pinching Yuri in the side. “You’re so cheesy sometimes.”
“Maybe.” She leaned down, taking Tiffany’s lips with her own.
Green mint toothpaste had taken away the taste of alcohol. Yuri smiled into the kiss. This was her Tiffany. She knew it in the way her full lips shaped with hers and knew exactly when to part and just the right way to swipe her tongue.
“Sleep, okay?” Yuri breathed, her eyes still closed and forehead pressed against Tiffany’s.
“Mmm-okay.” Tiffany kissed her again, taking the very breath from Yuri’s lungs. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“Okay.”
“Goodnight, Yuri-yah.”
“Goodnight, Fany.”
-/-/-/-
Yuri didn’t really bat a lash when Tiffany corrected her for calling her Tiffany and not Miyoung. For all Yuri knew, Miyoung was her Korean name. It made it a lot easier to address her. Saying Tippani, void of any and all ‘F’s,’ made Yuri feel like she wasn’t making an A+ in English.
Then again, Jessica still snickered sometimes when Yuri called out “Jesshika”. Yuri settled for Sica. It was easier and saved her the taunts.
“Are you, uh, okay?” asked Yuri.
Tiff- Miyoung nodded sheepishly, looking up at Yuri who sat on the shower bench with watery, brown eyes. Yuri ignored how glossy and catching those eyes were. They were brown like everyone else, but they were softer. They were like milk chocolate and made Yuri think of kittens and all things plush.
“Are you sure?” Yuri pressed. She had been crying rather hard. Hard and nasty. Like the way Jessica did with the snot and the gasping. Except unlike Jessica, Yuri didn’t tease Miyoung about it.
“I wanna go home,” Miyoung squeaked out, voice soft and brittle.
So then go home, Yuri thought. School was over anyway. But maybe she didn’t mean her home in Korea. The one rumored to be a huge mansion she lived in at the heart of Seoul with five butlers and three maids who spoke six languages fluently.
“Uh-” Yuri chewed on her lip, leaning her back against the cold, shower wall. “Where’s that?”
Miyoung blinked, her long, watery lashes moving up and down rapidly. She turned to Yuri. “I don’t know…”
“You don’t?” Yuri deadpanned, and then thought about it when Miyoung pulled in her lower lip, shrank back against the corner and shook her head like a child getting reprimanded.
She was a foreigner. She probably didn’t know where anything was…then again it had been at least two months, and even Jessica picked it up when she came in during middle school. But who was she to judge?
“Maybe…” Yuri thought about the storage room and the clutter inside. She now hated herself for being one of the ones who just threw volleyballs and kneepads into the room instead of stocking them properly.
She sighed. “I have to clean the storage room, but maybe I could take you back? Do you know the address?”
Miyoung shook her head. Yuri held back an eye roll.
“Could you call…” she gave up. If she knew someone’s number she wouldn’t be sitting in here crying over- Yuri didn’t even know that. She ran a hand through her hair. “I’ll help you home when I’m done, okay?”
“Okay.” Miyoung smiled so her eyes bent into perfect little crescents much like they had when Tiffany introduced herself.
Yuri looked away, ignoring how her stomach fluttered lightly at seeing it. “Just…I’ll be quick.”
-/-/-/-
It was when Boa walked over to her cubicle, told her to pack her things and move to the office room down the hall that Yuri realized what time of the year it was. More specifically, the month that had snuck up on her having been neck high in paper work and rendered near deaf from phone calls.
The sudden promotion she was given was second on her mind as she spread her desk calendar onto the mahogany one that was now hers. The amount of drawers and secret compartments it had was truly intimidating.
Yuri would figure out how to fill them up soon. Maybe stash the chocolate Miyoung always gave her? It could help the clients settle down.
“I’m sorry, but the policy doesn’t permit that. I’m sorry for your unfortunate bankruptcy. Chocolate?” It was perfect.
Fingers smoothing out the wrinkles, Yuri eyed the amount of X’s that were marking out the days in May. The month had meant nothing to Yuri until a long semester, holiday breaks, and a lot of awkward weeks passed from the time she had met Miyoung in that shower to when she learned of the girl’s past.
Yuri scolded herself for not realizing it earlier. It explained Tiffany’s tension at work. It explained Stephanie. It explained the classical music Yuri woke up to, and a disgruntled Tiffany sitting on the couch she had reluctantly left her on to get to work.
“How many vacation days do I get with the promotion?” she asked her coworker next door instead of Boa, who would probably dismiss her back to the cubicle.
The woman looked up, eyebrow cocked. “Ten?”
“Thanks.”
Yuri thanked Boa properly - bow and all - and lied through her teeth about a sudden death in the family that would take her out to the country the three remaining days of the business week plus the weekend.
If Boa fired her, she’d just have to hear it through voicemail when she got back.
Yuri grabbed her lunch out of the company fridge and left the building.
-/-/-/-
Miyoung didn’t live in a mansion it turned out. Yuri was a little disappointed. She could only imagine Jessica’s face when she told her that she got to go to the new girl’s house and get pampered by all the maids and butlers and eat fancy dishes like caviar. Caviar was fancy, right?
Yuri stood awkward and stiff on the porch as a woman, maybe a couple yeads older than them, took Miyoung into a hug saying things like,
“You should’ve called. Dinner’s already cold. You’re doing the dishes tonight, Tiff.”
That was all Yuri understood of the English she spoke at least. Everything else was a clutter of words. However, she didn’t miss when the woman called her Tiff and not Miyoung.
“Hi.”
Yuri blinked up to the woman’s face. She resembled Tiffany somewhat, but older. Not old enough to be her mother so sister, maybe?
“I’m Michelle.” Well her Korean was better than her dongsaeng’s.
“Yuri.”
Michelle made a face down at Miyoung – or was it Tiffany?
“You told me you didn’t have any friends.”
“I don’t,” she mumbled.
Yuri pretended not to hear. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Miyoung?”
“Mi…” Michelle trailed off. Her eyes flickered down to Tiffany who suddenly looked panicked. Her porcelain skin flushed a shade whiter and Yuri wondered what all the fuss was about.
“Oh, hah!” Michelle suddenly laughed. She draped an arm around Tiffany’s neck. “I thought you told me you weren’t going to go by your Korean name, TIff. Liar.”
“Don’t tease.” Tiffany ducked from under the arm. She looked up at Yuri, a fear and hesitation in those warm eyes. “Thanks for, uh, walking me home.”
“It was nothing.” Except it was something.
Trying to get Miyoung to remember her passcode on her phone in order to get some sort of number had been one obstacle. There had been no mom, dad, unnie, or oppa in her contacts for her to know who to call.
Yuri ended up shooting a text to Yoona, who always seemed to know these sorts of things. Probably from breaking into the office and trading out her, Sooyoung, and Sunny’s records. They were always in trouble for something.
The best Yoona could give her was a general area she figured Tiffany lived in. Yuri took them there in the bus and was grateful Miyoung recognized the place and led them straight to the house.
“Would you like to stay for dinner?” asked Tiffany. “I can heat it up. It should still be good.”
The way she said it made Yuri feel like she didn’t have another option. It was near the tone she had used when she threatened that boy at the beginning of the year. Yuri didn’t want to see those narrowed eyes again.
“Sure.” She shrugged.
It was after sending off a text to her mom about being at a friend’s, and a lukewarm dinner, that Yuri found herself awkwardly sitting at Tiffany’s desk chair in her room.
Tiffany sat on the edge of her bed, hands clenching and unclenching uncomfortably in her lap. They didn’t speak. After the strained conversation at the dinner table, they had found silence was better. Yuri didn’t really know what to say and Tiffany was on edge.
“Listen,” Tiffany began, husky voice quaking. Yuri noted classical music playing low from an ihome on her bookshelf. “My name is Tiffany, okay?”
Yuri cocked an eyebrow, shifting in the seat. “Okay?”
“So whatever happens, if anyone ever asks, I’m Tiffany.”
“Yeah, sure, that’s your name. I got it.”
“No, you don’t.”
Tiffany stood up, she paced, making a full sweep of the room. Yuri started to feel tense herself. She had heard things about the new girl. She heard she was strange, sometimes had a short temper, and even sometimes got really quiet and withdrew. Seeing her walk around in circles only made Yuri want to believe the rumors more.
“If I tell you this,” Tiffany began again. Yuri looked up from the thread she was picking at in the desk chair. Tiffany looked serious. She sat up straighter. “If I tell you, you have to promise me never to tell anyone. Ever.”
Yuri considered dragging her fingers along her lips like a zipper. She dropped the idea. This wasn’t time to joke.
“Okay.”
With a shaky breath, Tiffany opened her mouth and spoke.
-/-/-/-
“A vacation?”
“We can leave in the morning.”
Tiffany looked at her baffled over the glass counter of assorted perfumes and colognes. “What brought this on?”
Yuri leaned her elbows on the counter. “A promotion.” She grinned.
Tiffany’s jaw dropped. “You’re lying.”
“Got my office today,” Yuri said, trying to sound indifferent. “Mahogany desk.”
“Leather chair?”
“Mhm.” she stood up, hand on her hip and picking her nails with the thumb of the other. “The raise will cover everything.” she turned back to Tiffany who was beaming. “What do you say?”
“Yes. Yes, let’s go.” She clapped her hands them frowned, expression faltering. “But Taeyeon…”
“Called her on the way here.” Yuri lowered her voice, feigning the best façade of grief she could. “My poor, poor cousin JuHan passed away. His funeral is this weekend.”
Tiffany narrowed her eye, lips smirking. “You didn’t.” Yuri nodded and Tiffany laughed. “Can we go to the beach?”
“We can go anywhere you want.”
-/-/-/-
Yuri had gone home with a full mind and an uneasy stomach.
“You see…my name is Tiffany but it’s also Miyoung. And sometimes it’s Stephanie but- I’m confusing you aren’t I?”
Yuri had shaken her head but Tiffany saw through it. She didn’t want to make it harder for her, but maybe pretending to understand the random stream of words was making sense was the wrong thing.
Tiffany needed her to understand – really understand. That was the only way Yuri was going to be able to leave.
“I’m not a freak okay? So don’t look at me like that. It’s not helping.”
Yuri’s knuckles wrapped at a familiar, navy blue door. Jessica didn’t say anything as she walked in and went straight up to Jessica’s room. She made herself comfortable on her bed that was scattered with books and homework papers.
Jessica came in a moment later with a bowl of shrimp crackers and bottles of Aloe Vera juice. Yuri smiled. Jessica knew her too well.
Placing the food and drinks on the bed, she shooed Yuri to one side and climbed on, picking up her book. They didn’t say anything. Jessica must’ve seen it on Yuri’s face.
She needed time to think and sort out her thoughts. Something she could never do in the quiet of her house, nearly always void of parents. But she could always figure out the meaning of life and find the cure for terminal illnesses while lying in Jessica’s bed to the scratching of her pencil while she did homework and the rumble of rock music playing from her little sister’s room.
“Sica.”
“Hm?”
She stared up at the light fixture that hugged a single light bulb. “Have you ever found out something about someone – something sort of weird – but you promised you wouldn’t freak out about it so you try to pretend it’s not weird?”
The pencil stopped scratching and Yuri could’ve sworn Krystal switched off her music for a second.
“What?”
Yuri closed her eyes. She shouldn’t have brought it up. But Jessica was her best friend, and regardless of what anyone else said, she was smart in a way that people didn’t get. Her grades weren’t always the best, but sometimes she could say some profound things. Or maybe Yuri thought they were profound because she often ended up sounding a little moronic.
“If you found out someone was…different would you still talk to them?”
“What do you mean different?”
“Just, you know, different.”
“You like girls, that’s different, and I still like you.”
Yuri opened her eyes, sneering. Jessica shrugged her shoulders. “Not like that different.”
“Then stop speaking in code.”
“I can’t. I promised.”
“Promised who?”
Yuri bit her bottom lip. She was a loyal friend and true to her word. Even if Tiffany wasn’t truly her friend – or used to not be – she couldn’t bring herself to tell. Not when she was still trying to get it herself.
“That new girl.”
Jessica’s eyebrows shot up. “Tiffany?” she stressed the ‘F’s’. Yuri nodded and Jessica shut her book. “What happened? Is this why you ditched me?”
“No. You were there when the coach assigned me cleaning.”
“Right, whatever. Tell me.”
“Sica, I can’t. I really can’t, okay? I just need your opinion without you knowing.”
She watched Jessica get angry, pout, feign hurt, and then settle into a bored expression of defeat. “Fine, what is it?”
Yuri slid herself up so her back rested against the headboard. She juggled the right words to use in her head.
“I can’t tell you why, I just do. I’m not always them. It comes and it goes but only when things…happen. I can’t help it. Please, don’t look at me like that, Yuri-yah.”
Yuri looked down at her lap where her fingers wrung around each other much like Tiffany had done. “If I wasn’t always me would you still be my friend?” she asked, softly.
Jessica titled her head, knees pulling up to her chest. “What do you mean?”
“Like,” she chewed on her tongue, brow creasing in concentration. “If I acted like Sooyoung sometimes, then Sunny at others, and then went around causing problems like Yoona on other days.”
“Oh,” Jessica said in a way that sounded like she knew and turned away.
Yuri looked over at her, wondering if she did. Wondering if she could put those tiny pieces together and understand what she really meant by it.
When Jessica finally spoke, Yuri felt a little dumb and a whole lot judgmental. “Who are you at the end of the day?”
Yuri’s jaw flexed. “Me, I guess.”
Jessica smiled. That was it. She didn’t have to tell Yuri the rest because Yuri understood.
“If I weren’t them, too, I don’t know where I’d be. I wouldn’t be here, I know that.” Tiffany had stopped pacing and sat in the middle of her bed, knees pulled up and worry in her eyes. “I’m Tiffany, okay? That’s who I am, and I don’t like sharing, but that’s the only way I can survive. I’m Tiffany…but I’m them too.”
Yuri walked into the classroom the next day and took her seat behind Jessica. It was right before the bell rang that Tiffany slipped inside and hurried to her desk, head down and eyes avoiding Yuri.
“Way to cut it close, Fany-ah,” she whispered as the teacher slid the door shut and took place behind the front desk. Tiffany looked over at her hesitantly. “Me and Sica are cutting for lunch today. Wanna come?”
Tiffany blinked. “Really?” she mouthed more than said as the lesson started. Yuri nodded and Tiffany pushed on a smile. “Yeah, sure, okay.”
At the end of the day, Yuri saw, she was just Tiffany.
-/-/-/-
“If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends! Make it last forever, friendship never ends!”
Yuri eyed Tiffany out the corner of her eye as she drove them through them out of the city. The windows were down, wind blowing through the car, causing their hair to fan and bellow out.
Tiffany drummed on her knees, singing loud enough to rival the whoosh of the wind. Yuri could feel the comings of a headache begin to creep into her temples. She hoped she packed the pain reliever.
“Yuri-yah!” Tiffany all but yelled. Yuri winced behind her sunglasses. Why did she love this woman? Oh right. Because that loud voice was what really got her going when she had her pinned-
“Sing with me!” Tiffany slapped her shoulder.
Yuri made a face. “I don’t know the lyrics.”
“Yes, you do. I’ve heard you singing it in the shower.” Busted. “Your pronunciation has gotten better.” Of course it had. Yuri learned how to pronounce F’s, H’s, Q’s and V’s from the murmur of English Tiffany would breathe into her ear.
Yuri didn’t know why such a language made her shiver all over. She had learned it in school, and on few occasions, had to use it at work. But there was something about Tiffany, murmuring dirty little things to her that made Yuri shudder the hardest.
She felt a shiver course through her before Tiffany poked her, and Yuri opened her mouth to sing.
Tiffany grinned next to her and flipped to harmony. Yuri thought the song was tacky and cheap, but Tiffany loved it, so Yuri found away to love it too. Mostly the little dance Tiffany did while she sang it. That was what she loved most.
“Oh, an ice cream stand,” said Tiffany, suddenly dropping out of the harmony.
Yuri spat out a few more words before she stopped and looked in the rearview mirror. “You want some?”
Tiffany nodded and she wondered why she had asked in the first place.
Making an illegal U-turn at a light that specifically told her not to, Yuri took them back to the stand and ordered them two coffee cones. Extra caramel on Tiffany’s.
-/-/-/-
“I wanna try something, okay?”
Yuri looked up at Tiffany who sat on the shower bench, legs pulled up on the wood and back against the front divider. It was corny in a cliché, typical sort of way how they had made a habit of meeting up in the shower stall.
Tiffany claimed it was because of the drips from the leaky faucets and the way the air condition hummed a gurgling sort of sound. Yuri just liked it because Tiffany was in there with her.
Yuri thought this routine would’ve ended after they returned from winter break. She thought Tiffany was comfortable with spending hours with her at her house or even a few at Tiffany’s when she asked if Yuri could ride with her home.
However, here they were, a new semester, new shoes, and hairstyles, but in that old shower stall with the gurgling vents and the pitter-patter of dripping water. Okay. So maybe Yuri did love it for those things too.
“Yeah, okay,” Yuri said after a moment of silence.
Tiffany’s legs dropped off the bench and she turned so she was sitting on it facing the opposite wall. “I’ve never actually done this before.” she said, slowly.
Yuri’s eyebrows tweaked up, suddenly alert and heart thrumming at the anticipation of what Tiffany was getting at.
“During the break, I-” she titled her head, one side of her face scrunching in thought. Yuri bit back a smile at seeing it. She loved that look. “I mean we- we got really close.”
Yuri felt a flame ignite like the thumb strike on a lighter in her chest. The feeling wasn’t new. It had steadily grown, from orange to red to blue the more time she spent with Tiffany. It made her insides mushy and heart spring into strange choreography like she saw the dance team perform at rallies.
It burned the most when Tiffany would shyly reach over and grab her hand while they sat on the couch, watching a movie. She wouldn’t hold it long, but when she did, Yuri felt her confidence slip away and her palms sweat.
Just before they could sweat enough to be disgusting, Tiffany would pull away, smile shyly, and turn back to the movie.
At first it confused Yuri. She took it as skin-ship at first. Jessica and she had been like that in middle school, but with Jessica it hadn’t felt like this. It didn’t make Yuri tense and shift and tell herself over and over again to calm down. They were just holding hands. Relax. Be cool.
“Yeah,” Yuri’s vice croaked from nonuse. She shifted on the floor, easing the ache in her backside for moment. “I guess we did.”
“You guess?”
“No, I know we did,” she said with more certainty. Tiffany liked certainty. “We did.”
“So you…” Tiffany started to play with her hands in her lap. Yuri wondered if she was singing classical music in her head. Tiffany always listened or hummed classical when she was uneasy. It helped her keep her.
“So you feel it too, right?” she turned to Yuri, gaze all vulnerable and quivering. “Like, you felt…right?”
“Yeah, I did,” Yuri said, quickly. She didn’t like to see Tiffany struggle.
Tiffany let out a long breath of relief. “Okay.” She had gotten over that milestone. Yuri smiled at the obvious way her shoulders had relaxed a bit after clearing that up.
Yuri on the other hand was all wound up. Numbness in her rear aside, her whole body was buzzing. She wanted to say something to hurry Tiffany along, but she knew never to rush Tiffany. She didn’t like that. So Yuri always allowed Tiffany to set the pace.
“I want to try something.”
“Okay.”
“Come here but stay on the floor,” she grimaced. “Is that okay?”
Yuri answered by pushing to her knees and walking on them over to Tiffany who motioned for her to position herself in front of her.
“Give me your hands.” Tiffany directed. Yuri offered them, palm up, and Tiffany took them into hers. She held onto them, letting her warmth course into Yuri for a moment before placing them on her knees.
“Keep them there, okay?”
“Okay.” Yuri nodded. When Tiffany realized she wouldn’t move, she drew her hands off Yuri’s and dragged them along the cloth of her skirt, wiping away the sweat.
Wide, blinking eyes stared down into Yuri and she willed her body to stop shaking just as much as Tiffany was. Both for different reasons, she was sure. Tiffany looked on the verge of a heart attack, whereas Yuri just felt like she would die of anticipation.
“Don’t move,” Tiffany said, voice tight. Yuri nodded. “Okay?”
She needed verbal assurance. “I won’t move.”
“Okay.” Tiffany nodded, then said to herself again, “Okay.”
Clammy hands cupped Yuri’s face, fingertips burning like the tips of candles on Yuri’s skin. She stifled a gasp and swallowed it. She didn’t want to freak Tiffany out.
“Don’t.” Tiffany leaned forward, her breath becoming warmer the closer she drew. “Don’t move. Just-“
“Fany-ah.” Yuri cooed, her breath licking back into her own face as Tiffany inched nearer. Yuri could see the lighter flakes of brown in those beautiful eyes. She swooned and muttered, “I promise I won’t move.”
“Okay.” Tiffany breathed back and Yuri closed her eyes.
It felt like hours had passed, that the sun could’ve gone down completely and risen on a new day before she felt Tiffany’s lips touch her.
The only way Yuri could describe it was electric. Like she had run on carpet with her socks on all day, and the first thing to make that static react was the simple touch of Tiffany’s lips.
Her entire body focused on that one point. Just her lips. Her lips that were now pressed to Tiffany’s.
If Tiffany hadn’t pulled away, Yuri was sure she would’ve passed from suffocation. She sucked in a breath as calmly as she could and opened her eyes to see Tiffany’s blushing face and terrified eyes peering down at her.
“Say something.” Tiffany panicked. Yuri tried to catch her breath. “Yuri, say something. Please.”
“Whoa,” was the only thing that came to her lips. By the way Tiffany’s face fell, she realized the many meanings that could hold. “That was- I don’t know what to say. It was…”
“Did you like it?”
“Yes,” Yuri said. How could she not? She saw Tiffany’s face light back up. “I did. I did. A lot.”
“Can I try it again, maybe?”
“Yes.” please do.
Tiffany chewed on her bottom lip as she peeled her hands away to wipe on her skirt again. Yuri was glad when they returned to her face, trapping her in warmth all over again.
“But you still can’t move.”
“I won’t.”
This time Tiffany was quicker, and just like the first time, Yuri’s heart lurched. She fought against tilting her head, or deepening the kiss the way her body yearned to do. She demanded her hands to stay on her knees and not come up to wrap arms around Tiffany and pull her into her.
It was surly torture having such a space between them, but Yuri found satisfaction that they were connected in this way. In a way Tiffany had admitted to not have been with anyone else.
The thought alone made Yuri smile against Tiffany’s lips.
Tiffany pulled away for a moment before coming back in a little stronger. Her head titled and Yuri countered, waiting for Tiffany to start moving her lips, tasting Yuri before she began to do the same.
It was stupid, but Yuri thought Tiffany tasted like skittles and bright, neon lights. Her lips felt soft and left a colorful impression. It made Yuri see things in vivid, technicolor and wonky shapes she was certain only people under hallucinogens saw.
“Yuri,” Tiffany muttered and Yuri made the mistake of taking the next step.
Her tongue swiped along Tiffany’s lips, grazing against Tiffany’s own who drew away, back smacking against the glossed metal of the shower stall. The hands on her face turned clawed as Tiffany stared down at her, shock on her face and warm eyes slowly fading away.
Yuri cursed inwardly as Tiffany’s lashes fluttered once - twice. Her hands yanked away from Yuri and her lip pulled back slightly.
“Get your hands off me,” Tiffany hissed. “Now.”
Yuri drew back, putting distance between her and Tiffany. She fought to find her voice. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t you touch me – don’t you touch her.”
Yuri frowned. “Steph-”
“Get out.”
“Stephanie,” she tried again. It wasn’t the first time Yuri had encountered Stephanie.
She learned that the one who threatened that boy had been Stephanie bleeding through Tiffany. But this wasn’t Stephanie just wiggling through a crack. This was Stephanie completely, and Yuri had learned to just back off and leave her alone.
“You know I wouldn’t hurt her.”
“I said leave.”
Yuri nodded. “Okay, okay, I’ll leave.”
She reached over to grab her bag off the floor in the corner, and pushed to her feet. Stephanie watched her all the while, body tense and coiled. Yuri offered a bow.
“Tell Fany to call me?”
Stephanie scoffed. Yuri left.
Tiffany wouldn’t get the message.
Part II
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Chapter 1 of 'Hue'
Date: 2013-01-28 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-05-15 06:54 am (UTC)wow and I'm a bit scared.
wow...
Damn Stephanie...
no subject
Date: 2013-07-17 01:03 pm (UTC)