Fic: The Dreamkeeper (Part III)
Mar. 14th, 2015 04:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boxxsaltzTitle: The Dreamkeeper
Author: Boxxsaltz
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Jessica Jung/TIffany Hwang
Summary: Before there was anything there was a dream
AN: Beta credit to Doucette/Douismain
Part III
Jessica rushed down the hallway.
She had heard Tiffany scream many times but she had never heard her scream like this.
She fought with her badge, fumbling to get Tiffany’s door open. When she did, the scene nearly broke her.
Tiffany sat pushed up into one corner, face pale and eyes wide. Her arms swung, fingers clawing at the air while her legs kicked out warding off things only Tiffany could see in her mind.
“Tiffany?”
“Get them off. Get them off!”
Jessica moved to the bed. “Tiffany wake up, it’s not real.”
Tiffany screamed again, loud and shrill.
“Tiffany!” Jessica grabbed onto her arms, pulling them down. She struggled against Tiffany's strength trying to calm her. “Tiffany, wake up. You’re dreaming. Wake up. Please, wake up.”
“Jessica?” Tiffany’s head jerked up but her eyes still weren’t focused. She was almost out of the dreamscape but not yet.
“I’m here, Tiffany. It’s me. It’s Jessica.”
“Jessica?” Her eyes blinked, blown pupils shifting to stare right up at her. “Jessica!”
Tiffany rocketed forward. Long, spindly arms circled around Jessica’s waist and a head fell against her stomach. Jessica didn’t know if it was the shock of the situation or how tightly Tiffany clung to her that kept her rooted in place.
She ran a hand up and down Tiffany’s back, gown drenched in a cold sweat. Tiffany trembled against her, mumbling things to herself that Jessica couldn't understand. Sitting on the bed, Jessica rested Tiffany’s head in her lap, fingers stroking through dark hair while bony ones clung to her other hand.
“Don’t make me go back to sleep. I don’t want to go to sleep,” Tiffany pleaded.
Nightmares. Jessica had read in Seunghyun’s files once that Tiffany was plagued with them. From her studies, Jessica knew they were brought about by the extraction. They took more of Tiffany’s good dreams than she could create in enough time before the next procedure. It left her with nothing but nightmares that were only intensified by her exhaustion.
“Shh, shh,” Jessica cooed. “You’re going to be okay.”
Tiffany sniffled, tears sliding down her cheeks. Jessica waited until they dried up and her eyes drooped. Feeling Tiffany relax, Jessica went to pull away when a hand tightened onto her labcoat. She settled back down.
"What does it feel like not to dream?" Tiffany asked after a long moment.
"It feels normal I guess."
"Does that mean I'm not normal?" Tiffany’s eyes opened to look up at her. They were puffy and red.
“I think you are.” Or perhaps it was everyone else who wasn’t.
"They said I was four when I had my first dream. Dad wanted to keep it a secret, but I was too excited. I used to draw what I saw in school. My teachers loved it." Letting out a breath, Tiffany’s voice dropped. "I don't remember anything before that."
"Isn't it better to dream?"
"Do you think so?”
Jessica wasn’t sure. She had learned most her life that they were great things. That they were worth money and time to have. She had once been taught to believe those who could lived a life of luxury, harboring millions of dollars because of how rare and precious they were.
Looking at Tiffany, Jessica knew that they were rare and precious but everything else was a lie. Tiffany’s life - the rest of the Dreamkeepers she saw on a daily bases - may have been the reason for millions, but they didn’t reap a single penny for being born extraordinary.
"I wouldn't know," she whispered.
"What's your family like?" Jessica blinked at the sudden flip in conversation. She found Tiffany’s eyes again, wide and staring up at her. She resisted the urge to run her fingers along smooth cheeks obstructed by wisps of dark hair. "Do you have a brother?"
"Sister. She's a law student." And her dad was a businessman who had raised the two of them tirelessly after their mother died when Jessica was just finishing high school.
From as young as Jessica could remember, their mother’s mental health wasn't very strong. She spent most of her days sitting in her room, staring into space. Doctor visits became frequent as the years went on, but her condition only worsened. She was unstable, memory wearing more and more until she was gone herself.
From pictures and family videos Jessica knew at one point her mother was lively and loving. Sometimes it scared her just how easily that was all taken away from her.
"I lost my mother too," Tiffany said after a moment. "One day she was there and then..."
She didn't need to finish. Jessica understood.
"I should probably go.” She had to force herself to say. She was already breaking so many rules, but somehow, Jessica was starting to care less and less about rules in regards to Tiffany. “Will you be okay on your own?"
Tiffany answered her by slipping beneath her covers, body curled up and head resting on her pillow.
“Can you stay until I fall asleep?”
Jessica glanced at the chair across the room. “I’ll be right over there.”
A weak smile crossed Tiffany’s lips as she ducked her head, hiding it beneath the blanket. Sitting down, Jessica let out a sigh, watching as Tiffany tossed and turned.
As hours ticked on she began to wonder how someone said to have such beautiful dreams could also be haunted by some of the most terrible demons.
-/-/-/-
Drawer sliding back into place, Jessica peeked her head out of the door before stepping out into the hall. Locking the room of records, she hurried off to the break room and grabbed a green tea from the fridge before taking a seat.
The files she had were thick, wrapped in rubber bands to keep them inside a bent and faded manila folder. Licking a thumb, she flipped pages, reading off the scrawl of notes collected on Tiffany over the years. She found Seunghyun's first written in short and precise documentation.
Penmanship changed along with a style. Jessica ran a finger down the page finding the doctors signature at the bottom of a report sheet.
Kim Taeyeon.
"Tiring, isn't it?"
Jessica closed the folder quickly, eyes jumping up to see Seohyun hovering by the table.
"A little light reading?"
"I just wanted to know a little bit more about Tiffany’s background."
"Always move forward, Nurse Jung, never backwards."
Jessica gave a nod.
"Why don't you let me take these back for you?" Seohyun reached down. Jessica sat back watching her take the files into her arms. "There's someone waiting for you in the hall."
Tiffany perked up when she saw Jessica emerge from the break room. Her smile stretched wide along her face, eyes arching into crescents. Jessica's heart squeezed with warmth.
"Can we take a walk?"
"Sure."
Tiffany bounced to her side, hooking an arm around Jessica's.
"Why don't we go together?" Suggested Seohyun, coming up behind them.
Jessica didn’t miss the way Tiffany’s grip tightened around her arm or how Seohyun’s brow lifted seeing their proximity.
Seohyun pressed on a smile. “I’ll meet you outside.”
-/-/-/-
A butterfly zipped through a bed of flowers with Tiffany right on its trail.
She danced around like the fluttering of yellow wings. At first Jessica thought she was trying to catch it, but after a while she realized it was the chase that struck her as fun more than the capture.
Jessica bit the inside of her cheek to hold back her smile when Tiffany gasped at the butterfly landing on her arm.
“Just like a kid, isn’t she?”
Jessica nodded. She wasn’t sure what drew her to Tiffany more: her beauty, her honesty or her childlike air that never failed to make her smile, make her feel free, make her forget they were stuck between gray walls for hours.
“Why don’t her parents visit?”
“Tiffany doesn’t have any parents.”
“But she said- “
Seohyun cut her off with a sad chuckle.
“She’s been made to create dreams for so long that she’s started to believe some,” Seohyun explained. She almost sounded sorrowful. “She was an orphan when we found her. We gave her a chance to be more than that.”
“What happened to them?”
Seohyun shrugged. “Remember the rules, Nurse Jung.”
Need to know. Everything in this place was need to know. Just another thing she needed to learn.
Jessica nodded and walked in silence. Across the courtyard Tiffany climbed onto one of the stone tables, legs pulled up, crossed along the surface. Patterns of leaves spread across her face in dancing shadows. Eyes closed, Tiffany soaked in what few rays broke through the tree limbs to brush along her cheeks.
Jessica found herself staring, caught in the soft glow that smoothed along her pale skin. The dingy lights from inside never did her justice. Tiffany was beautiful. It reflected off eyes that fluttered open and the hushed words she whispered into the air. Jessica had been around her long enough to know she was talking to Sooyoung, to the piano teacher, to the others she had seen come and go through the corridors and left her behind.
No wonder she clung to Jessica so hard.
"It's about time for her nap, isn't it?"
Jessica glanced down at her wristwatch. Ten minutes. She deflated knowing it would be three hours of silence to do nothing but wait for Tiffany to wake up and cling to her arm for another extraction.
"You look like you could use one too," Seohyun commented.
Jessica laughed it off as she waved Tiffany in. She quickly slid off the table, taking the long path around.
"I'm fine."
"Whatever you say." Seohyun patted her shoulder as Tiffany reached them. "You're lively today, Fany."
Tiffany ducked her head, scooting closer to Jessica. "Thank you, Doctor."
"I can tell I made the right decision putting Tiffany into your care. Keep it up."
Jessica bowed to Seohyun who let them be. Long fingers slid down along her arm and ran against her palm. Jessica spread her fingers open allowing Tiffany to thread them together.
"I don't like her," Tiffany muttered close to her ear.
Jessica felt a shudder run through her, hand instinctively squeezing Tiffany's.
"You don't have to like her." She assured. Jessica wasn't sure if she did either. "Let's go inside."
-/-/-/-
"What a rare sight."
Jessica rolled her eyes as she stepped into Krystal's apartment. It had been long since she had visited her sister. Where before it held a feeling of young youth and studious student, the atmosphere had shifted into something crisp, ordered, and astute.
"When's the last time you came to visit me?"
"Two days before your promotion."
Jessica blinked. That had been months ago. Where had the time gone? A look at the books and notes and papers on Krystal's desk told her they had both just been caught up in their own respective worlds. Jessica more so caught up in the world of another person.
"Have you heard from dad?"
"He's been working double." Krystal sat down their glasses at the table. Jessica's mouth watered at the food. "I thought he would slow down after we moved out."
"He never liked to sit still."
"I guess we both took after him."
They laughed, forks lifting into fingers and sinking into respected plates. The dinner was quiet. The two had never been siblings of many words. Just being in each other's presence for a few hours made Jessica feel like they had made up for months of separation.
"How's work?"
"I actually need your help with something."
"Shoot."
Jessica wiped her hands on a dishrag after passing Krystal the last of plates to dry.
"I need you to find someone for me - an old Caretaker."
"How old?"
"Years back?" Jessica thumbed through a folder of papers she had brought in her bag as they settled onto the couch. "If you're out of the system for more than four years, they wipe your file."
Krystal nodded as she booted up her laptop. "Name?"
"Kim Taeyeon."
Krystal took the papers from Jessica and started typing away.
"How was the case?"
"We won."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Busy." Krystal hit enter and Jessica watched as a list of pages showed up. She clicked through a few. "There's nothing on the immediate search but I should be able to find something about her if you give me a few days."
"I can wait."
"Who is she anyway?"
"She was my patients old Caretaker. I wanted to review her notes from then, but I can't find much."
"Erased?"
Jessica shook her head. There was something else. Everything about Tiffany's past was a mystery shrouded in secrets with fragments floating around like pieces of a puzzle.
"I'll call you." Krystal passed Jessica her scarf as she made her way for the door.
"Thanks, Krys."
-/-/-/-
Tiffany's door was cracked when Jessica got back.
"Tiffany?" Pushing the door open, she flicked on the light.
Tiffany's bed was empty.
Sitting down, Jessica waited a few minutes. She knew Tiffany had a habit of sneaking out. Few of those times Jessica has found her sitting in front of Sooyoung's room.
But she never took this long.
Jessica got up. She checked Sooyoung's old hall before the usual spots: courtyard, rec room, showers.
Doubling back, she checked again in case she had missed her.
No Tiffany.
Jessica panicked, hand combing through her hair when she returned to Tiffany's room finding it still empty. Grabbing her phone she scrolled down to Seohyun's number before she stopped. That would be the last person Tiffany would want to see.
Pocketing her phone, Jessica set off, taking the elevator down a level. The fifth floor belonged to processing - where newly extracted dreams were taken and made to be sold.
All of the rooms were promptly locked by evening, doors made with keypad codes to reinforce security along with a card swipe.
All Jessica found was an empty floor.
She checked the next down. The nurses on watch regarded her in confusion as she paced along the carpet. It was a futile effort. Once they spotted a patient from upstairs they would've sent them back up immediately.
Jessica's heart hammered as she took the stairs, hurrying to the third floor. The extraction floor.
She tried the handle on each extraction room, one after the other until one gave way, blaring stark white light into her eyes instead of darkness.
Jessica blinked against it, peering inside.
There she was.
Propped on the chair was Tiffany, equipment on and blinking while she held the extraction needles in her hands.
Fear rose up in jessica something furious when she realized what Tiffany was about to do.
"Tiffany!"
Jessica sprinted across the room. She snatched the device from her hands before the prongs could stab into the base of her skull.
Tiffany gasped, eyes wide.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
She shrank away from her, caught surprised by Jessica's yelling.
Her heart raced, quickening when she realized the gravity of the situation. Those needles could've gone into Tiffany and she could've come out a different person. There could be no more laughs, no more hummed tunes, no more cold fingers grabbing hold of her arm. Just monotonous beeping, ivy drips and empty eyes never to be opened.
"Jessi-"
Jessica’s throat tightened. "What were you thinking?"
Tiffany looked up at her in horror, tears spilling over the edges of her lids when she blinked.
"I wanted to keep them. I don't want them to have them anymore!"
Jessica looked at her confused.
"What're you talking about?"
"They're about you. I don't want them to take them too."
"What did you think would happen if you did this?" She shook the device in her hand. Tiffany's eyes flickered to them fearfully.
"I could keep them myself. I could hide them."
"Tiffany, no. Listen to me." Setting the equipment aside, Jessica took damp cheeks into her palms. "Not this way."
"But-"
"Do you remember what happened to Sooyoung?" The mention of Tiffany's old friend made her snap back into reality. Her lips parted in realization that brought more tears "You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you could've done to yourself."
"I don't want to lose both of you," she cried. "I can't lose you too."
Jessica trembled. Wrapping her arms around Tiffany's neck, she pulled her in, crushing her face against her chest. Fingers gripped into the sleeves of her lab coat, holding her tight.
"I'm right here, Tiffany."
They could take away as many of Tiffany's dreams as they wanted, but Jessica wasn't going anywhere. She didn't want to. She didn't think she could. Not anymore.
Tiffany cried freely, body shuddering. "I'm sorry. I was scared. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"I know. It's okay."
She understood or she wanted to. She didn't know why Tiffany wanted to hold onto dreams so hard. She didn't know why Tiffany couldn't realize that having Jessica just arms length away was better than any conjured image of the mind.
But then Jessica remembered the names she had been told. From Doctor Kim to Sooyoung. They no longer remained, leaving Tiffany with only her memories and dreams to make them exist again.
She had known nothing but loss - battled it for years without even a chance at winning.
"I'm sorry." She sniffled.
Jessica pressed her face against Tiffany's hair, jaw clenched to hold back her own tears.
She knew she probably shouldn't make empty promises, but she could think of nothing else to say.
"I'm not going anywhere."
-/-/-/-
She waited until Tiffany was settled into bed before she left.
The halls were quiet filled with only air condition hum and beeping machines. Jessica would've figured Seohyun was gone by that hour but she found her office cracked, low light seeping into the corridors.
"Doctor?" She knocked.
Seohyun lifted her head to look at her through wireframe glasses. "Nurse Jung. Come in."
Jessica closed the door behind her as she stepped in and took a seat. A sudden nervousness crept up along her neck.
"How may I help you?" Seohyun closed the binder on her desk and pulled off her glasses, setting them aside. "Is there something wrong with Tiffany?"
"She's..." Jessica thought back to those watery eyes and sharp needles. She sighed. "She's had a bit of a rough night."
"I hope it's nothing serious."
"She's fine now." Though she hadn't fallen asleep until Jessica promised she'd stay with her. Her chest gave a pang. "I didn't come here to talk about Tiffany."
"Oh?" Seohyun leaned forward, folded hands beneath her chin.
Under her gaze Jessica felt her nerves peek again. "I was wondering if maybe I could buy dream serum."
Teeth peeked from pink lips as Seohyun grinned. "You're finally ready?"
"I'm curious." Tiffany had made her so.
She wanted to understand - fully understand.
"With good reason. Dreams are unlike anything ever experienced." Seohyun blinked away, lost in her own recollection. "My first one had me obsessed. It's part of the reason I'm here today."
"I've heard they can be addictive."
"You were top in your training sect, you tell me." Seohyun laughed at Jessica's blush. "But there's no reason for you to buy when we have plenty."
"I couldn't just take-"
"Think of it as a gift."
Jessica swallowed down her protest. "Thank you, Doctor."
"Why don't we head down now?" Seohyun got up, storing the binder away in her filing cabinet. "Tiffany should be okay without you babysitting her for an hour or two, won't she?"
"She should be.”
"Then I don't see a problem why not."
-/-/-/-
Of all the floors, the fourth was the quietest. It was where people would go to dream.
Jessica hadn't walked through one of the Dream Rooms since her training. She eyed the beds separated in spaces like cubicles each lit by a dim light that hung from the ceiling above.
Jessica stared up into one as she laid down along one of the beds, head against a thin pillow. Beside her Seohyun worked, checking off a review sheet of Jessica's vitals and health. Every customer had to go through a health check and Jessica was no exception.
"Everything looks good." Seohyun placed the clipboard away on the small desk next to the bed. "Are you ready?"
"I guess so."
"Just relax." Seohyun opened a small, black case.
Inside Jessica could see a row of vials, each one filled with chalky, white liquid. Her pulse started to race with an unusual excitement when Seohyun picked up a syringe and filled it up with the murky serum.
"I thought you might want to try one of Tiffany's." Seohyun stood over her, latex gloved hand moving hair away from her neck.
"How long will it last?"
"The dream itself?" Seohyun cleaned off a little space of her skin just beneath her jaw with an antiseptic cloth. "As long as you want it. I'm only giving you a small dosage so this will be your only one instead of having them for a month.
Jessica nodded and turned her head for Seohyun to place the needle.
"Take a deep breath for me."
Air filled her lungs as the needle pierced into her skin. Jessica winced when Seohyun pulled it out.
"Drink this. It'll help you sleep."
Taking a small cup, Jessica downed the thick, bluish liquid. She smacked her lips as the initial minty taste gave way into something chalky and bitter.
"Now relax. You'll be asleep in a few minutes."
Jessica closed her eyes. She could feel the sleeping medication slowly take its effect. It started in her legs and moved up gradually making her feel heavier and heavier until she couldn't even open her eyes if she wanted.
But she didn't want to.
Through the usual blackness a tiny beam of light pierced through. It spread slowly, growing bigger and bigger until everything was white.
And then the detail.
Like a developing photo, everything started to come into focus:
A light post, a hill, a swing, grass, trees, sky, sun, breeze, smell, taste, touch.
Jessica gasped when everything zapped into perfect focus. From greens to blues to reds everything was vibrant more so than what her eyes would see everyday. The colors were saturated and gleaming. The breeze was cool, soft, and gentle against her skin and the sun was a brilliant golden hue.
Looking down, Jessica saw the tails of a blue dress flapping and waving with the wind against her thighs. Fingers combing through her hair she noted the strands were much lighter than normal. A honey blonde opposed to almond brown.
"Jessica?"
She turned her head, following the familiar voice.
"Jessica, over here."
Creaking entered her ears once Jessica's eyes shifted. On the swing sat Tiffany, white dress bellowing behind her as she swung. Her hand lifted up off the chains, waving.
"Over here!"
She moved. Her steps felt weighed and heavy but she was moving quickly through the tall, green grass. Leaping off the swing, Tiffany ran for her, laughing from her depths as she smacked into Jessica. Spindly arms wrapped around her neck and Jessica returned the hug allowing herself the freedom she didn't have in reality to circle her arms around Tiffany's waist.
"You found me, Jessi."
She warmed at the nickname relishing in Tiffany's uncharacteristic warmth that permeated from this fantasy form. Face burying into her neck, Jessica shuddered. Her heart raced. Her stomach fluttered.
"I'm here." She muttered into glossy, black hair.
Tiffany leaned back, her smile stretching across her face. Jessica wondered if it was the trick of dreams that made her feel everything so intensely. Because in here she couldn't deny how stunningly alluring Tiffany's smile was or how much the girl’s presence made her heart beat with reason.
"Jessi?" Her head titled.
Jessica smiled. "What is it?"
"There's someone I want you to meet."
Tiffany grabbed her by the hand with a pull.
They ran down the hill quickly, grass licking at bare feet and ankles. The further they went the better. Jessica could see that there was someone sitting at the base with their back towards. Around them was spread a blanket anchored down on each of its corners.
From the long, dark hair Jessica could tell it was a woman. She was dressed in blue much paler than Jessica's but a startling shade nonetheless. She hummed as she swayed, hair licked up by the breeze. Jessica stayed put while Tiffany bounced onto the blanket. Sinking onto her knees, she whispered into the woman's ear,
"She's here."
The woman touched Tiffany's cheek in thanks before she stood.
"Hi." Jessica took a step forward.
The woman was slow to turn around. And when she did, Jessica froze.
"Sooyeon."
Jessica's lashes fluttered, eyes bouncing from a beaming Tiffany on the blanket to a face she had seen thousands of times.
"Mom?"
She may look younger but Jessica knew it was her. She could see herself in those features. She could see herself at the ages of four, seven, and nine smiling up at that face that she once saw blank and troubled in a bedroom for hours only to emerge for meals.
"I told you she was beautiful," said Tiffany.
The woman nodded, eyes misty. "It's me, Sooyeon."
"Go on, Jessi. She misses you too."
Feet moving, Jessica ran for her mother's open arms, falling into her chest with a broken,
"Mom!"
"Easy, Jessica. It's okay. You're back."
Hands pushed at her shoulders. Jessica fought against them.
"No, wait. Mom! Mom!"
"It's over, Nurse Jung." Seohyun's voice came into focus. "You're out. Your mom isn’t here."
Lashes fluttering, Jessica rid her vision of the remnants of dream still clinging on. The monochrome colors of the Dream Room replaced, startling vibrance and fanciful warmth stripped away by artificial cold.
Jessica winced. There was a dull pain pounding against her skull.
"Here, take these." Seohyun handed her a cup of pills and some water. "This'll help with the after effects."
Jessica swallowed both down, chest still heaving as rapid as her mind raced.
Hands patting herself, she checked. No blue dress, no blonde hair, no trace of Tiffany's warmth or the brush of her mother’s fingertips on hers.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm...I'm fine." She closed her eyes. Images of the dream played back on her lids like a hazy film. "What was that?"
"That was a dream, Nurse Jung." Seohyun helped her to her feet, hands held onto her shoulder to keep her steady. "Why don't you take the rest of the evening off? First dreams can be a little much even for our doctors."
Jessica took in a deep breath. Her head felt sluggish and her body heavy.
"I think I'll go home."
"I'll call you a cab. You can wait for it in the lobby."
Jessica nodded as she sank into a chair. Her breathing came to her in quick puffs, pulse beating in her neck widely where the needle had gone in.
She blinked. Everything had felt so real. Everything had seemed so touchable. So perfect. So...
The buzz of her phone pulled her out a moment. Jessica dug for it in her lab coat.
"Hello?"
"Are you okay?" Krystal asked.
Jessica wanted to say that she had seen mom. She had seen her alive and well. She had been able to touch her…
“Jessica?”
She blinked. "Yes?”
"The Caretaker you had me research? I found her."
Jessica stilled. It hadn't been just her mother in that dream. There had been Tiffany. Tiffany and all her radiance wrapped tightly around her. Jessica could still feel her warmth in the depths of her bones.
"Hello?"
"We'll talk in the morning."
She hung up, dropping her phone away.
She’d deal with it in the morning.
For all she could think about now was gleaming brown eyes and the racing of her heart.
Part IV
-
Author: Boxxsaltz
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Jessica Jung/TIffany Hwang
Summary: Before there was anything there was a dream
AN: Beta credit to Doucette/Douismain
Part III
Jessica rushed down the hallway.
She had heard Tiffany scream many times but she had never heard her scream like this.
She fought with her badge, fumbling to get Tiffany’s door open. When she did, the scene nearly broke her.
Tiffany sat pushed up into one corner, face pale and eyes wide. Her arms swung, fingers clawing at the air while her legs kicked out warding off things only Tiffany could see in her mind.
“Tiffany?”
“Get them off. Get them off!”
Jessica moved to the bed. “Tiffany wake up, it’s not real.”
Tiffany screamed again, loud and shrill.
“Tiffany!” Jessica grabbed onto her arms, pulling them down. She struggled against Tiffany's strength trying to calm her. “Tiffany, wake up. You’re dreaming. Wake up. Please, wake up.”
“Jessica?” Tiffany’s head jerked up but her eyes still weren’t focused. She was almost out of the dreamscape but not yet.
“I’m here, Tiffany. It’s me. It’s Jessica.”
“Jessica?” Her eyes blinked, blown pupils shifting to stare right up at her. “Jessica!”
Tiffany rocketed forward. Long, spindly arms circled around Jessica’s waist and a head fell against her stomach. Jessica didn’t know if it was the shock of the situation or how tightly Tiffany clung to her that kept her rooted in place.
She ran a hand up and down Tiffany’s back, gown drenched in a cold sweat. Tiffany trembled against her, mumbling things to herself that Jessica couldn't understand. Sitting on the bed, Jessica rested Tiffany’s head in her lap, fingers stroking through dark hair while bony ones clung to her other hand.
“Don’t make me go back to sleep. I don’t want to go to sleep,” Tiffany pleaded.
Nightmares. Jessica had read in Seunghyun’s files once that Tiffany was plagued with them. From her studies, Jessica knew they were brought about by the extraction. They took more of Tiffany’s good dreams than she could create in enough time before the next procedure. It left her with nothing but nightmares that were only intensified by her exhaustion.
“Shh, shh,” Jessica cooed. “You’re going to be okay.”
Tiffany sniffled, tears sliding down her cheeks. Jessica waited until they dried up and her eyes drooped. Feeling Tiffany relax, Jessica went to pull away when a hand tightened onto her labcoat. She settled back down.
"What does it feel like not to dream?" Tiffany asked after a long moment.
"It feels normal I guess."
"Does that mean I'm not normal?" Tiffany’s eyes opened to look up at her. They were puffy and red.
“I think you are.” Or perhaps it was everyone else who wasn’t.
"They said I was four when I had my first dream. Dad wanted to keep it a secret, but I was too excited. I used to draw what I saw in school. My teachers loved it." Letting out a breath, Tiffany’s voice dropped. "I don't remember anything before that."
"Isn't it better to dream?"
"Do you think so?”
Jessica wasn’t sure. She had learned most her life that they were great things. That they were worth money and time to have. She had once been taught to believe those who could lived a life of luxury, harboring millions of dollars because of how rare and precious they were.
Looking at Tiffany, Jessica knew that they were rare and precious but everything else was a lie. Tiffany’s life - the rest of the Dreamkeepers she saw on a daily bases - may have been the reason for millions, but they didn’t reap a single penny for being born extraordinary.
"I wouldn't know," she whispered.
"What's your family like?" Jessica blinked at the sudden flip in conversation. She found Tiffany’s eyes again, wide and staring up at her. She resisted the urge to run her fingers along smooth cheeks obstructed by wisps of dark hair. "Do you have a brother?"
"Sister. She's a law student." And her dad was a businessman who had raised the two of them tirelessly after their mother died when Jessica was just finishing high school.
From as young as Jessica could remember, their mother’s mental health wasn't very strong. She spent most of her days sitting in her room, staring into space. Doctor visits became frequent as the years went on, but her condition only worsened. She was unstable, memory wearing more and more until she was gone herself.
From pictures and family videos Jessica knew at one point her mother was lively and loving. Sometimes it scared her just how easily that was all taken away from her.
"I lost my mother too," Tiffany said after a moment. "One day she was there and then..."
She didn't need to finish. Jessica understood.
"I should probably go.” She had to force herself to say. She was already breaking so many rules, but somehow, Jessica was starting to care less and less about rules in regards to Tiffany. “Will you be okay on your own?"
Tiffany answered her by slipping beneath her covers, body curled up and head resting on her pillow.
“Can you stay until I fall asleep?”
Jessica glanced at the chair across the room. “I’ll be right over there.”
A weak smile crossed Tiffany’s lips as she ducked her head, hiding it beneath the blanket. Sitting down, Jessica let out a sigh, watching as Tiffany tossed and turned.
As hours ticked on she began to wonder how someone said to have such beautiful dreams could also be haunted by some of the most terrible demons.
-/-/-/-
Drawer sliding back into place, Jessica peeked her head out of the door before stepping out into the hall. Locking the room of records, she hurried off to the break room and grabbed a green tea from the fridge before taking a seat.
The files she had were thick, wrapped in rubber bands to keep them inside a bent and faded manila folder. Licking a thumb, she flipped pages, reading off the scrawl of notes collected on Tiffany over the years. She found Seunghyun's first written in short and precise documentation.
Penmanship changed along with a style. Jessica ran a finger down the page finding the doctors signature at the bottom of a report sheet.
Kim Taeyeon.
"Tiring, isn't it?"
Jessica closed the folder quickly, eyes jumping up to see Seohyun hovering by the table.
"A little light reading?"
"I just wanted to know a little bit more about Tiffany’s background."
"Always move forward, Nurse Jung, never backwards."
Jessica gave a nod.
"Why don't you let me take these back for you?" Seohyun reached down. Jessica sat back watching her take the files into her arms. "There's someone waiting for you in the hall."
Tiffany perked up when she saw Jessica emerge from the break room. Her smile stretched wide along her face, eyes arching into crescents. Jessica's heart squeezed with warmth.
"Can we take a walk?"
"Sure."
Tiffany bounced to her side, hooking an arm around Jessica's.
"Why don't we go together?" Suggested Seohyun, coming up behind them.
Jessica didn’t miss the way Tiffany’s grip tightened around her arm or how Seohyun’s brow lifted seeing their proximity.
Seohyun pressed on a smile. “I’ll meet you outside.”
-/-/-/-
A butterfly zipped through a bed of flowers with Tiffany right on its trail.
She danced around like the fluttering of yellow wings. At first Jessica thought she was trying to catch it, but after a while she realized it was the chase that struck her as fun more than the capture.
Jessica bit the inside of her cheek to hold back her smile when Tiffany gasped at the butterfly landing on her arm.
“Just like a kid, isn’t she?”
Jessica nodded. She wasn’t sure what drew her to Tiffany more: her beauty, her honesty or her childlike air that never failed to make her smile, make her feel free, make her forget they were stuck between gray walls for hours.
“Why don’t her parents visit?”
“Tiffany doesn’t have any parents.”
“But she said- “
Seohyun cut her off with a sad chuckle.
“She’s been made to create dreams for so long that she’s started to believe some,” Seohyun explained. She almost sounded sorrowful. “She was an orphan when we found her. We gave her a chance to be more than that.”
“What happened to them?”
Seohyun shrugged. “Remember the rules, Nurse Jung.”
Need to know. Everything in this place was need to know. Just another thing she needed to learn.
Jessica nodded and walked in silence. Across the courtyard Tiffany climbed onto one of the stone tables, legs pulled up, crossed along the surface. Patterns of leaves spread across her face in dancing shadows. Eyes closed, Tiffany soaked in what few rays broke through the tree limbs to brush along her cheeks.
Jessica found herself staring, caught in the soft glow that smoothed along her pale skin. The dingy lights from inside never did her justice. Tiffany was beautiful. It reflected off eyes that fluttered open and the hushed words she whispered into the air. Jessica had been around her long enough to know she was talking to Sooyoung, to the piano teacher, to the others she had seen come and go through the corridors and left her behind.
No wonder she clung to Jessica so hard.
"It's about time for her nap, isn't it?"
Jessica glanced down at her wristwatch. Ten minutes. She deflated knowing it would be three hours of silence to do nothing but wait for Tiffany to wake up and cling to her arm for another extraction.
"You look like you could use one too," Seohyun commented.
Jessica laughed it off as she waved Tiffany in. She quickly slid off the table, taking the long path around.
"I'm fine."
"Whatever you say." Seohyun patted her shoulder as Tiffany reached them. "You're lively today, Fany."
Tiffany ducked her head, scooting closer to Jessica. "Thank you, Doctor."
"I can tell I made the right decision putting Tiffany into your care. Keep it up."
Jessica bowed to Seohyun who let them be. Long fingers slid down along her arm and ran against her palm. Jessica spread her fingers open allowing Tiffany to thread them together.
"I don't like her," Tiffany muttered close to her ear.
Jessica felt a shudder run through her, hand instinctively squeezing Tiffany's.
"You don't have to like her." She assured. Jessica wasn't sure if she did either. "Let's go inside."
-/-/-/-
"What a rare sight."
Jessica rolled her eyes as she stepped into Krystal's apartment. It had been long since she had visited her sister. Where before it held a feeling of young youth and studious student, the atmosphere had shifted into something crisp, ordered, and astute.
"When's the last time you came to visit me?"
"Two days before your promotion."
Jessica blinked. That had been months ago. Where had the time gone? A look at the books and notes and papers on Krystal's desk told her they had both just been caught up in their own respective worlds. Jessica more so caught up in the world of another person.
"Have you heard from dad?"
"He's been working double." Krystal sat down their glasses at the table. Jessica's mouth watered at the food. "I thought he would slow down after we moved out."
"He never liked to sit still."
"I guess we both took after him."
They laughed, forks lifting into fingers and sinking into respected plates. The dinner was quiet. The two had never been siblings of many words. Just being in each other's presence for a few hours made Jessica feel like they had made up for months of separation.
"How's work?"
"I actually need your help with something."
"Shoot."
Jessica wiped her hands on a dishrag after passing Krystal the last of plates to dry.
"I need you to find someone for me - an old Caretaker."
"How old?"
"Years back?" Jessica thumbed through a folder of papers she had brought in her bag as they settled onto the couch. "If you're out of the system for more than four years, they wipe your file."
Krystal nodded as she booted up her laptop. "Name?"
"Kim Taeyeon."
Krystal took the papers from Jessica and started typing away.
"How was the case?"
"We won."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Busy." Krystal hit enter and Jessica watched as a list of pages showed up. She clicked through a few. "There's nothing on the immediate search but I should be able to find something about her if you give me a few days."
"I can wait."
"Who is she anyway?"
"She was my patients old Caretaker. I wanted to review her notes from then, but I can't find much."
"Erased?"
Jessica shook her head. There was something else. Everything about Tiffany's past was a mystery shrouded in secrets with fragments floating around like pieces of a puzzle.
"I'll call you." Krystal passed Jessica her scarf as she made her way for the door.
"Thanks, Krys."
-/-/-/-
Tiffany's door was cracked when Jessica got back.
"Tiffany?" Pushing the door open, she flicked on the light.
Tiffany's bed was empty.
Sitting down, Jessica waited a few minutes. She knew Tiffany had a habit of sneaking out. Few of those times Jessica has found her sitting in front of Sooyoung's room.
But she never took this long.
Jessica got up. She checked Sooyoung's old hall before the usual spots: courtyard, rec room, showers.
Doubling back, she checked again in case she had missed her.
No Tiffany.
Jessica panicked, hand combing through her hair when she returned to Tiffany's room finding it still empty. Grabbing her phone she scrolled down to Seohyun's number before she stopped. That would be the last person Tiffany would want to see.
Pocketing her phone, Jessica set off, taking the elevator down a level. The fifth floor belonged to processing - where newly extracted dreams were taken and made to be sold.
All of the rooms were promptly locked by evening, doors made with keypad codes to reinforce security along with a card swipe.
All Jessica found was an empty floor.
She checked the next down. The nurses on watch regarded her in confusion as she paced along the carpet. It was a futile effort. Once they spotted a patient from upstairs they would've sent them back up immediately.
Jessica's heart hammered as she took the stairs, hurrying to the third floor. The extraction floor.
She tried the handle on each extraction room, one after the other until one gave way, blaring stark white light into her eyes instead of darkness.
Jessica blinked against it, peering inside.
There she was.
Propped on the chair was Tiffany, equipment on and blinking while she held the extraction needles in her hands.
Fear rose up in jessica something furious when she realized what Tiffany was about to do.
"Tiffany!"
Jessica sprinted across the room. She snatched the device from her hands before the prongs could stab into the base of her skull.
Tiffany gasped, eyes wide.
"What the hell are you doing?!"
She shrank away from her, caught surprised by Jessica's yelling.
Her heart raced, quickening when she realized the gravity of the situation. Those needles could've gone into Tiffany and she could've come out a different person. There could be no more laughs, no more hummed tunes, no more cold fingers grabbing hold of her arm. Just monotonous beeping, ivy drips and empty eyes never to be opened.
"Jessi-"
Jessica’s throat tightened. "What were you thinking?"
Tiffany looked up at her in horror, tears spilling over the edges of her lids when she blinked.
"I wanted to keep them. I don't want them to have them anymore!"
Jessica looked at her confused.
"What're you talking about?"
"They're about you. I don't want them to take them too."
"What did you think would happen if you did this?" She shook the device in her hand. Tiffany's eyes flickered to them fearfully.
"I could keep them myself. I could hide them."
"Tiffany, no. Listen to me." Setting the equipment aside, Jessica took damp cheeks into her palms. "Not this way."
"But-"
"Do you remember what happened to Sooyoung?" The mention of Tiffany's old friend made her snap back into reality. Her lips parted in realization that brought more tears "You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you could've done to yourself."
"I don't want to lose both of you," she cried. "I can't lose you too."
Jessica trembled. Wrapping her arms around Tiffany's neck, she pulled her in, crushing her face against her chest. Fingers gripped into the sleeves of her lab coat, holding her tight.
"I'm right here, Tiffany."
They could take away as many of Tiffany's dreams as they wanted, but Jessica wasn't going anywhere. She didn't want to. She didn't think she could. Not anymore.
Tiffany cried freely, body shuddering. "I'm sorry. I was scared. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"I know. It's okay."
She understood or she wanted to. She didn't know why Tiffany wanted to hold onto dreams so hard. She didn't know why Tiffany couldn't realize that having Jessica just arms length away was better than any conjured image of the mind.
But then Jessica remembered the names she had been told. From Doctor Kim to Sooyoung. They no longer remained, leaving Tiffany with only her memories and dreams to make them exist again.
She had known nothing but loss - battled it for years without even a chance at winning.
"I'm sorry." She sniffled.
Jessica pressed her face against Tiffany's hair, jaw clenched to hold back her own tears.
She knew she probably shouldn't make empty promises, but she could think of nothing else to say.
"I'm not going anywhere."
-/-/-/-
She waited until Tiffany was settled into bed before she left.
The halls were quiet filled with only air condition hum and beeping machines. Jessica would've figured Seohyun was gone by that hour but she found her office cracked, low light seeping into the corridors.
"Doctor?" She knocked.
Seohyun lifted her head to look at her through wireframe glasses. "Nurse Jung. Come in."
Jessica closed the door behind her as she stepped in and took a seat. A sudden nervousness crept up along her neck.
"How may I help you?" Seohyun closed the binder on her desk and pulled off her glasses, setting them aside. "Is there something wrong with Tiffany?"
"She's..." Jessica thought back to those watery eyes and sharp needles. She sighed. "She's had a bit of a rough night."
"I hope it's nothing serious."
"She's fine now." Though she hadn't fallen asleep until Jessica promised she'd stay with her. Her chest gave a pang. "I didn't come here to talk about Tiffany."
"Oh?" Seohyun leaned forward, folded hands beneath her chin.
Under her gaze Jessica felt her nerves peek again. "I was wondering if maybe I could buy dream serum."
Teeth peeked from pink lips as Seohyun grinned. "You're finally ready?"
"I'm curious." Tiffany had made her so.
She wanted to understand - fully understand.
"With good reason. Dreams are unlike anything ever experienced." Seohyun blinked away, lost in her own recollection. "My first one had me obsessed. It's part of the reason I'm here today."
"I've heard they can be addictive."
"You were top in your training sect, you tell me." Seohyun laughed at Jessica's blush. "But there's no reason for you to buy when we have plenty."
"I couldn't just take-"
"Think of it as a gift."
Jessica swallowed down her protest. "Thank you, Doctor."
"Why don't we head down now?" Seohyun got up, storing the binder away in her filing cabinet. "Tiffany should be okay without you babysitting her for an hour or two, won't she?"
"She should be.”
"Then I don't see a problem why not."
-/-/-/-
Of all the floors, the fourth was the quietest. It was where people would go to dream.
Jessica hadn't walked through one of the Dream Rooms since her training. She eyed the beds separated in spaces like cubicles each lit by a dim light that hung from the ceiling above.
Jessica stared up into one as she laid down along one of the beds, head against a thin pillow. Beside her Seohyun worked, checking off a review sheet of Jessica's vitals and health. Every customer had to go through a health check and Jessica was no exception.
"Everything looks good." Seohyun placed the clipboard away on the small desk next to the bed. "Are you ready?"
"I guess so."
"Just relax." Seohyun opened a small, black case.
Inside Jessica could see a row of vials, each one filled with chalky, white liquid. Her pulse started to race with an unusual excitement when Seohyun picked up a syringe and filled it up with the murky serum.
"I thought you might want to try one of Tiffany's." Seohyun stood over her, latex gloved hand moving hair away from her neck.
"How long will it last?"
"The dream itself?" Seohyun cleaned off a little space of her skin just beneath her jaw with an antiseptic cloth. "As long as you want it. I'm only giving you a small dosage so this will be your only one instead of having them for a month.
Jessica nodded and turned her head for Seohyun to place the needle.
"Take a deep breath for me."
Air filled her lungs as the needle pierced into her skin. Jessica winced when Seohyun pulled it out.
"Drink this. It'll help you sleep."
Taking a small cup, Jessica downed the thick, bluish liquid. She smacked her lips as the initial minty taste gave way into something chalky and bitter.
"Now relax. You'll be asleep in a few minutes."
Jessica closed her eyes. She could feel the sleeping medication slowly take its effect. It started in her legs and moved up gradually making her feel heavier and heavier until she couldn't even open her eyes if she wanted.
But she didn't want to.
Through the usual blackness a tiny beam of light pierced through. It spread slowly, growing bigger and bigger until everything was white.
And then the detail.
Like a developing photo, everything started to come into focus:
A light post, a hill, a swing, grass, trees, sky, sun, breeze, smell, taste, touch.
Jessica gasped when everything zapped into perfect focus. From greens to blues to reds everything was vibrant more so than what her eyes would see everyday. The colors were saturated and gleaming. The breeze was cool, soft, and gentle against her skin and the sun was a brilliant golden hue.
Looking down, Jessica saw the tails of a blue dress flapping and waving with the wind against her thighs. Fingers combing through her hair she noted the strands were much lighter than normal. A honey blonde opposed to almond brown.
"Jessica?"
She turned her head, following the familiar voice.
"Jessica, over here."
Creaking entered her ears once Jessica's eyes shifted. On the swing sat Tiffany, white dress bellowing behind her as she swung. Her hand lifted up off the chains, waving.
"Over here!"
She moved. Her steps felt weighed and heavy but she was moving quickly through the tall, green grass. Leaping off the swing, Tiffany ran for her, laughing from her depths as she smacked into Jessica. Spindly arms wrapped around her neck and Jessica returned the hug allowing herself the freedom she didn't have in reality to circle her arms around Tiffany's waist.
"You found me, Jessi."
She warmed at the nickname relishing in Tiffany's uncharacteristic warmth that permeated from this fantasy form. Face burying into her neck, Jessica shuddered. Her heart raced. Her stomach fluttered.
"I'm here." She muttered into glossy, black hair.
Tiffany leaned back, her smile stretching across her face. Jessica wondered if it was the trick of dreams that made her feel everything so intensely. Because in here she couldn't deny how stunningly alluring Tiffany's smile was or how much the girl’s presence made her heart beat with reason.
"Jessi?" Her head titled.
Jessica smiled. "What is it?"
"There's someone I want you to meet."
Tiffany grabbed her by the hand with a pull.
They ran down the hill quickly, grass licking at bare feet and ankles. The further they went the better. Jessica could see that there was someone sitting at the base with their back towards. Around them was spread a blanket anchored down on each of its corners.
From the long, dark hair Jessica could tell it was a woman. She was dressed in blue much paler than Jessica's but a startling shade nonetheless. She hummed as she swayed, hair licked up by the breeze. Jessica stayed put while Tiffany bounced onto the blanket. Sinking onto her knees, she whispered into the woman's ear,
"She's here."
The woman touched Tiffany's cheek in thanks before she stood.
"Hi." Jessica took a step forward.
The woman was slow to turn around. And when she did, Jessica froze.
"Sooyeon."
Jessica's lashes fluttered, eyes bouncing from a beaming Tiffany on the blanket to a face she had seen thousands of times.
"Mom?"
She may look younger but Jessica knew it was her. She could see herself in those features. She could see herself at the ages of four, seven, and nine smiling up at that face that she once saw blank and troubled in a bedroom for hours only to emerge for meals.
"I told you she was beautiful," said Tiffany.
The woman nodded, eyes misty. "It's me, Sooyeon."
"Go on, Jessi. She misses you too."
Feet moving, Jessica ran for her mother's open arms, falling into her chest with a broken,
"Mom!"
"Easy, Jessica. It's okay. You're back."
Hands pushed at her shoulders. Jessica fought against them.
"No, wait. Mom! Mom!"
"It's over, Nurse Jung." Seohyun's voice came into focus. "You're out. Your mom isn’t here."
Lashes fluttering, Jessica rid her vision of the remnants of dream still clinging on. The monochrome colors of the Dream Room replaced, startling vibrance and fanciful warmth stripped away by artificial cold.
Jessica winced. There was a dull pain pounding against her skull.
"Here, take these." Seohyun handed her a cup of pills and some water. "This'll help with the after effects."
Jessica swallowed both down, chest still heaving as rapid as her mind raced.
Hands patting herself, she checked. No blue dress, no blonde hair, no trace of Tiffany's warmth or the brush of her mother’s fingertips on hers.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm...I'm fine." She closed her eyes. Images of the dream played back on her lids like a hazy film. "What was that?"
"That was a dream, Nurse Jung." Seohyun helped her to her feet, hands held onto her shoulder to keep her steady. "Why don't you take the rest of the evening off? First dreams can be a little much even for our doctors."
Jessica took in a deep breath. Her head felt sluggish and her body heavy.
"I think I'll go home."
"I'll call you a cab. You can wait for it in the lobby."
Jessica nodded as she sank into a chair. Her breathing came to her in quick puffs, pulse beating in her neck widely where the needle had gone in.
She blinked. Everything had felt so real. Everything had seemed so touchable. So perfect. So...
The buzz of her phone pulled her out a moment. Jessica dug for it in her lab coat.
"Hello?"
"Are you okay?" Krystal asked.
Jessica wanted to say that she had seen mom. She had seen her alive and well. She had been able to touch her…
“Jessica?”
She blinked. "Yes?”
"The Caretaker you had me research? I found her."
Jessica stilled. It hadn't been just her mother in that dream. There had been Tiffany. Tiffany and all her radiance wrapped tightly around her. Jessica could still feel her warmth in the depths of her bones.
"Hello?"
"We'll talk in the morning."
She hung up, dropping her phone away.
She’d deal with it in the morning.
For all she could think about now was gleaming brown eyes and the racing of her heart.
Part IV
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Date: 2016-01-19 10:50 pm (UTC)