Fic: Collide (Part IV)
Nov. 16th, 2013 12:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boxxsaltzTitle: Collide
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Tiffany/Yuri
Summary: Somewhere between beginnings and ends
AN: Beta credit to bobalub
Part IV
“In cominnnnnng!”
Tiffany heard it just as the elevator chimed open. Stepping out, she watched in amused horror as Sunny came burling down the hall pushing a laughing Yuri in a wheelchair pass the eyes of shocked and angry doctors and confused patients.
“Lee Soonkyu!” Tiffany hissed, storming up the hall.
“Fany-yah!” She shouted, waving a hand in the air. “Come play with us.”
In the wheelchair Yuri bit her lip to hide her grin as a doctor came up to them. Tiffany stood back watching Sunny’s face fall as he reprimanded her and kindly asked her to take the patient back to her room before they called security.
Tiffany was the only one laughing as she watched the two roll their way back up the hall with their heads down.
-/-/-/-
“What did you think they were going to say?” Tiffany shook her head, pulling out bagel sandwiches from the deli bag she had brought. She handed one off to Sunny who sat on a stool by the head of Yuri’s hospital bed.
Sitting up on the cushion, Yuri peeled back the wrappings of hers while Tiffany climbed onto the foot of the bed and sat cross-legged in front of her. It had become their recent routine. Yuri hated hospital breakfast and Tiffany wasn’t about to watch her deteriorate more than she already was from not eating. Sausage, egg, and cheese on a honey-glazed bagel always lifted Yuri’s spirits.
“They’re all squares.” Sunny grumbled through a mouthful.
“They're going to kick you out.”
“They couldn’t keep me out.” Sunny smirked over to Yuri who returned it with a nod.
Tiffany rolled her eyes. “Kids.”
Sunny snickered, leaning over to Yuri striking up conversation. Tiffany watched them quietly as she chewed. She hadn’t thought about it before but Sunny’s presence had toned things down. Her easiness kept the air light, playful, fun. She kept them all looking forward instead of Tiffany looking back.
But maybe Tiffany had been subconsciously aware of what her being there did.
“Hotels are expensive and I have a couch.” Tiffany had told her.
Sunny waited until Yuri was relocated to the hospital - it was easier for her to be there than home - before she moved in not wanting to trump on their alone time. Tiffany couldn't say how seeing her in the kitchen making a pot of coffee before she ran to the station in the morning and her tucked in by eight in the evening kept her sane.
That apartment had never known solitude. Tiffany was certain without Yuri always there she’d go crazy.
At the chime of her phone, Tiffany dug through her purse and pulled it out. Her brow furrowed at the number before it registered and she slipped off the bed and walked out the door.
“Hello?”
“To what did I owe the pleasure of hearing you on my voicemail?”
Tiffany glanced back over her shoulder. She rolled her eyes at Sunny who had taken Yuri’s sandwich and was moving it around in the air like an airplane. Yuri snatched it away before it could make it to her mouth and Sunny laughed loud enough for Tiffany to hear it in the hall.
“I need a favor,” she whispered into the receiver.
“They always do,” Jessica sighed but Tiffany could hear the smile in her voice. “Speak to me, Hwang.”
-/-/-/-
Tiffany stood back, bouncing on the balls of her feet as Yuri taped the last end of a red ribbon on the doorframe so it draped across the entrance of their new apartment.
"Come on, come on, come on!" Her excitement was getting the best of her. Her cheerful little claps as Yuri pulled out a pair of scissors from her back pocket drew a smile from a neighbor who was on his way down the hall. "Let me do it too!"
"Get over here!" Yuri offered the hand holding the scissors to allow Tiffany to slip a finger through one of the holes and curve them around Yuri's.
She grinned as they brought the scissors closer to the ribbon, opening the blades around it.
"One." Said Yuri.
"Two,"
"Three!" They chimed at the same time as the scissors cut through the ribbon.
Tiffany didn't take a beat before she undid the knob and rushed into the apartment. She flitted around the place made up and laid out the way they had laboriously done the past week.
The scent of new furniture still lingered in the air with the familiar fragrance of her old books stacked in a bookshelf. Her eyes swept through, catching all the new and the old. The clash of her and Yuri all made into one creating the home she hoped to spend many more years with the woman who was slowly pacing through the living room.
Skipping across the floor, Tiffany ran smack into Yuri, colliding into her chest.
"Omph!" Yuri let out, wrapping her arms around Tiffany as they stumbled a bit.
"Welcome home, baby," Tiffany’s couldn't help her smile as her lips met Yuri's.
Yuri's own grin took over. "Welcome home." She hoisted Tiffany up, spinning them around, socks sliding easily along the hardwood.
Tiffany laughed, head thrown back as the room whirled around them.
Flashes of future filled her head as lights bled into counters and warm, chocolate paint along the walls blinded into curtains. Her mind painted Yuri lounged exhausted and snoring on the couch while Tiffany threw a blanket over her. She saw herself coming home from work, dinner in hand, and sharing kisses in the doorframe. She imagined laughing on weekend mornings in a pile of blankets sipping coffee and licking away bits of syrup.
“Should we call Sunny?” Asked Yuri, falling onto the couch.
Tiffany came down after her, breathless and wobbly. “What for?”
Yuri picked at a strand of hair stuck to Tiffany’s hair. She smoothed it in her fingers down to the tip and kissed the ends. “She promised to bring wine for the christening.”
“We don’t need wine for a christening.” Tiffany winked.
Yuri’s laugh came out thick and charged from the center of her chest as Tiffany took her by the hand and led them off the couch.
They moved uncoordinated and sloppily down the short hall, dizziness slow to leave them as they spun into the bedroom and crashed onto a mattress weighted with crisp, new blankets and sheets.
They hugged Tiffany’s shoulders with a promise that Yuri sealed perfectly with a kiss.
-/-/-/-
“She deals with people as dead as my future,” Jessica deadpanned leading Tiffany into the funeral home. Tiffany snorted. “You think I’m joking? She’s been tossing around “The Big M”. We both know there’s only one big M that I’m comfortable with and that usually involves only one hand and no diamonds.”
Tiffany flushed. “And you couldn’t believe I was with a boxer?”
“What can I say? I’m morbid.” Jessica shrugged. “We’re going to have to make a ton of coffins for my family if we go through with this shitty idea. You and yours could never.” Jessica grinned, head whipping around to call out. “Taeng, hun, customer.”
Tiffany stood stiff and awkward as she watched a short woman with cropped, blonde tipped hair in a black pantsuit come walking from the back. She glared slightly at Jessica who offered a wink and turned to Tiffany with an outstretched hand.
“Hi, I’m Taeyeon.”
“Nice to meet you,” she shook her hand. “I’m -”
“My ex,” Jessica swooped in. Taeyeon’s lips pursed as her eyes looked Tiffany over and away. Tiffany didn’t know if she should be offended by the dismissal or not. “I told her you could give her a discount on arrangements. Flowers, casket, taxidermy-”
“Embalming,” Taeyeon corrected, dryly.
Jessica didn’t miss a beat. “It’s for her wife.” She said with a tone of loaded sincerity. Something in Taeyeon’s expression softened when she glanced at Tiffany. “Do you think you could work out a deal? I promised.”
“You’re always making promises you know you can’t keep.”
“I haven’t said yes yet.”
“No, that’s right, you haven’t.” Taeyeon turned her attention back to Tiffany who shifted in her heels as Jessica shot daggers at Taeyeon. “I don’t think I caught your name.”
“Tiffany.”
“Follow me,” Taeyeon gestured with a hand, telling Jessica to stay put with her eyes. “We'll see what I can do.”
-/-/-/-
There was a morbid feeling carrying floral magazines in her bag through the halls of the hospital. As if she were trying to decide on what colors would go nicely with bridesmaid’s dresses and table arrangements the way they had done all in jest sitting on the floor in the middle of the store years ago.
The memory struck up a smile on Tiffany’s lips as she rounded a corner to make her way to Yuri’s wing. She remembered the way her face wouldn't stop heating up, the tips of her ears burning bright red as Yuri spoke in detail of how she would marry her if she could.
She spoke like a fairytale and grinned like a little girl with hands waving in the air. Tiffany laughed beside her, flipping pages in a magazine until one of the associates told them they couldn't block the aisle and they had to leave.
Tiffany never did forget it. And she never forgot the bouquet of flowers Yuri had delivered to her job.
“Miss Hwang?”
Tiffany stopped a few strides short of Yuri’s room. The door was pulled shut and the blinds over the window were closed. Turning around, she was met with the face of one of the doctors. He approached her with a soft smile on his face, thumb clicking a pen he stuffed neatly into his coat pocket.
“Could I speak with you a moment?” Her gaze lingered on Yuri’s door before she followed him to the far end of the hall. When he faced her again his smile was gone. “Though you're not family, you’re the only one we can get into contact with concerning Yuri.”
She swallowed down the retort about how she was more to Yuri than her family could be or ever was to her. “Is there something wrong?”
“There’s been a change in her condition.” He spoke slowly and precisely. Tiffany watched his lips move, brow creasing more and more as he continued. “At this stage, it’s unpredictable how rapidly she will begin to decline. We’re seeing less and less movement capability in her upper limbs - arms and hands - but her vitals are holding up.”
Her eyes shifted from one of his to the other that never fully held onto hers. They flickered away at the harsh chime from one rooms and snapped over at the drone of a nurse’s voice over the announcement speakers.
“What’s been the change?” .
He licked his lips, stalling a second longer. “As of this morning, Yuri’s lost most to all mobility in the lower half of her body.”
Her mind was slow to catch up with the new information. “Are you telling me she can no longer walk?”
"Unfortunately. It happened seemingly overnight.” He went on. Tiffany fought to keep her own nervous, racing pulse under control. “We had her work with a physical therapist this morning but it was ineffective as we knew it would be.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
He nodded. “We’ll keep you updated on her condition from here on out.”
“Thank you.” She bowed mechanically and turned back down the hall.
The purse on her shoulder felt like a dead weight as she reached Yuri’s door and knocked on it twice before twisting the knob and letting herself in. Yuri sat like normal, back leaned against the incline of the bed. She held a remote in her hand, switching through channels on a TV hanging from the ceiling in front of her.
She turned with a weak smile, deep black hair falling wavy over her shoulders in a stark contrast against the white of her gown. When Tiffany reached her, she muted the TV.
“You’re early.”
“I finished up at the office.” Tiffany pulled up the chair from the wall and sat down beside the bed.
“What’s in the bag?”
She had almost forgotten. “Floral magazines.” Pulling out one, she laid it in her lap. “What were you watching?”
“Something Sunny recommended. It’s shit.” Yuri laughed, dropping the remote.
Tiffany echoed her laugh. She leaned an elbow on her knee, chin resting on her hand as their laughter faded out. The air was tight - uneasy. Yuri pushed her hands against the cushion of the bed to move her further up. Tiffany watched her closely, eyes dropping down to the outline of her legs dragging beneath the blanket.
“I talked to your doctor.” Tiffany muttered. She flickered her gaze back up. Yuri stared down at her like someone caught in the act. “Are you okay?”
“We knew this would-”
“-happen, I know. I know.”
Awkward silence persisted one heavy second at a time. What more could be said about it?
“Can I see what you picked?”
Nodding, Tiffany scooted closer and opened the cover to the last page she had been looking at. She studied Yuri’s stoic expression, trying to read between the lines for what was hidden beneath. But maybe there wasn’t and it was her own tumultuous soul that was still knocked off its axis from the news.
“These are-”
“-Ugly?” Tiffany cut in, quickly snapping to the next page. “That’s what I said.” She shuffled through a few more pages, her eyes seeing but her mind not taking any of it in. Why did you need flowers for these things anyway?
“Tiffany?” Her neck snapped up, eyes locking with Yuri’s. She looked nervous the way her mouth bobbed, fishing for the right words. “Will you call my parents?”
“Your…”
“I…” she looked away, gaze dropping to the glossy sight of white petals and green leaves on the pages. “I want them to know.”
Tiffany recalled the last call she had made to the Kwon’s. The silence of a call ended, the terse voices appalled she dared call, the accusatory jabs that it was her fault their daughter was unwell, and the familiar ring of an answering machine picking up.
Tiffany swallowed passed the thick lump stuck in her throat. “Okay.”
-/-/-/-
A small shake of the shoulder woke her up.
Tiffany peeled her face from her folded arms along the bed and ran a hand through her tangled hair. The book she had been reading was still turned over, draped over Yuri's hip while she slept peacefully to the beeping machines sounding near her head.
"Thanks," Tiffany muttered taking the styrofoam cup from the hand holding it down to her. She took a sip before looking at the contents and furrowed her brow. "Were they out of coffee?"
Yoona grinned as she moved to pull the blanket up over Yuri's steadily rising and falling chest. "You need to sleep, not the other way around."
Tiffany stood to move the chair she had pulled beside Yuri's bed back against the wall and sat down into it heavily. "I'm fine.”
"Tell that to the bags under your eyes." Yoona padded quietly over to sink down in the chair beside Tiffany. "She'll be here in the morning. Go home."
"I don't want to leave her." She eyed the still body on the bed tucked in stark white sheets and dressed in a periwinkle polka dotted gown.
In sleep she almost looked at ease. No worry lines tainting her forehead and no jagged smiles framed by sunken cheeks. She almost looked like the Yuri she loved to wake up to, lie in bed with, and watch as her lashes fluttered and eyes moved beneath heavy lids while she dreamed.
"Do you think those beds are comfortable?"
"I think you get used to it." Yoona replied.
Tiffany turned to look at Yoona who was sipping from a can of juice. "What’re you doing here?”
"Sunny said you were still here so I came by."
"To put me to bed?"
Yoona winced. "She’s worried about your back."
Tiffany rolled her eyes, laughing softly as she drank the water from her cup. "It feels wrong to leave her."
Yoona let out a weighted breath beside her as she leaned back in her chair. "I would have left."
"At first that’s what you think. I did." Tiffany admitted. Yoona’s gaze dipped to her, dark brown eyes illuminated by a low lamp burning on the far side of the room. "I used to ask myself what would happen if I left now? If I leave today, or the next, if I would’ve left a week before? It wouldn't have changed anything. I would lose Yuri either way."
"What made you stay?"
Tiffany felt a tug pull up at the corner of her mouth as she stared at Yuri again. Her lips were parted slightly, the faint sounds of a tiny snore seeping out into the room. It made Tiffany want to climb up in the bed and snuggle next to her.
"Someone like her - like Yuri - deserves to leave this world better than the way she came into it.” She spoke softly head tilting. “We were that for each other. I wouldn't make her suffer alone."
"I envy you."
Tiffany's eyebrow lifted as Yoona looked away from her. "Thank you."
"Thank you?" Her own brow furrowed at the words, turning back to Tiffany.
"All everyone has done is pity me." Tiffany smiled, voice dipping. "So, thank you."
-/-/-/-
“I’m at the door.”
Tiffany sat in a stiff backed chair, eyes on the door as keys jingled in the lock from the outside. She could feel her anger beneath the surface of her skin like a ticking time bomb, each little sound of Yuri letting herself in drawing the numbers closer and closer to detonation.
“I’m in. See you tomorrow.” Yuri’s voice slurred through the air into her phone. She stuffed it into her pocket and tossed her keys onto the coffee table, steps a little jagged as she started to pass by Tiffany she didn’t see.
"Did you have fun?”
Yuri froze, taken by surprise. When her eyes found Tiffany, she grinned something sloppy and wide. "You should've come out with us tonight!"
"I was working." Tiffany motioned to her folders and laptop on the table. She hadn’t touched them the past hour. Yuri’s absence had taken up her concentration as it did most evenings Yuri was gone. Her expectations of what she saw their life living together look like were seemingly flushed away.
"You're always working." Yuri muttered and began to walk off again.
Tiffany’s words stopped her. "Not much to say about the one who comes home drunk every night."
"Hey, I'm just having a good time. You could at least congratulate me." Yuri held up a medal. Tiffany ignored it.
"I'm not going to congratulate someone who thinks knocking a girl unconscious is fun.” She snapped back. “It's sick, Yuri, and you know it."
"The hell is your problem?"
“Nothing.” Tiffany looked away from her. She didn’t want to explode. She picked up her things and headed for their room when Yuri stood in front of her. "Get out of my way."
"Talk to me,"
"Move, Yuri." She pushed. She could taste the alcohol off Yuri’s breath and it made her sick.
"You started this and we're gonna finish it."
"I'm already finished."
Yuri gripped her arms, using her strength to hold her in place. "I'm not."
"Move!"
"Sit. Down!" Yuri shoved.
Tiffany lost the breath from her lungs as she stumbled over her feet and fell roughly onto the couch where she bounced. Yuri hovered above her looking menacing down at her. Tiffany swallowed hard, voice shaking as she muttered.
"What're you going to do?” Tiffany taunted. “Hit me?"
Yuri’s lip peeled back, hurt and disgust coming to her face at the words."You're not worth it."
"What am I worth? Not your time anymore.”
Yuri shook her head. “This is a fucking joke.” She backed off, picking up the bag she had thrown beside the couch and slung it over her shoulder.
Tiffany panicked, sliding to the edge of the couch. “Where are you going?”
“None of your business.”
“Nothing’s my business is it?” Yuri glanced back at her over her shoulder, brow drawn in tight. “Is it, Yuri?” Tiffany prodded. Yuri turned away from her and opened the door. “Yuri!”
Door slamming, she was left alone with the ring of her own voice in reply.
-/-/-/-
Too fast.
Things were happening too fast.
“They're talking about breathing machines.” Tiffany whispered on the line to Sunny.
Through twisted blinds hanging over glass, her heavy eyes watched a white-coated doctor and his nurse move around Yuri. A tiny smile pulled at Yuri’s lips and her eyes crinkled in the corners. One of them must’ve cracked a joke. Yuri only had that almost going to laugh look when she found something silly rather than laugh worthy. Tiffany blinked away.
“You know I want to be there with you but we’re starting that marathon fundraiser at the station and-”
“You’ve done enough. I only wanted to keep you updated.” Tiffany’s eyes caught sight of dark hair and low heels coming around the corner. She raised a hand to wave at Yoona who offered a smile.
“I’ll visit as soon as I can.”
“You’re a really great friend, Sunny.”
A tired laugh came from the other line. “And don’t you forget it.”
“Hi. You didn’t have to come.”
Yoona waved her off. “How is she?”
“She’s…”
Yoona nodded gathering it all. Her head tilted as she stared through the window with Tiffany. Inside, Yuri’s head lolled to the side as one of the doctors pressed a stethoscope to her chest. Her gaze found Yoona first, hanging on for a few seconds before she looked to Tiffany and the doctor distracted her with a question.
“Maybe I shouldn’t come.” Yoona muttered beside her.
“Yoona, I don’t think-”
“Miss Hwang?” Came the nurse, clutching a clipboard. “You can go in now.”
“Thank you.” She bowed, turning to Yoona who moved to sit in one of the chairs against the wall.
She pushed on a smile. “Go on. I’ll wait.”
Tiffany teetered on the balls of her feet before she walked into the room, pulling the door behind her. Yuri struggled to sit herself up on weak arms. Tiffany hurried to help her lean her back against the thick pillow behind her.
Pulling up the stool, she sank down. “Hi.”
A second passed as Yuri struggled to find a voice. When she did, it came out partially slurred. “Hi.”
Tiffany pushed on a smile, hand smoothing out a wrinkle in her gown. “Yoona and I were going to get dinner. Is there anything you’d like?” Yuri shook her head. “I heard the receptionist talking about chicken surprise. Who knows what they’re cooking?”
Yuri shook her head again. “Did you call them?”
Tiffany bit the inside of her lip. She sank down, sitting on the edge of the bed. Draped to the side, Tiffany saw Yuri’s fingers move, hand stretching out for hers. She took it up, threading their fingers together.
“Maybe you should be the one to do it.”
Yuri sighed. “If they won’t talk to you-”
“I’m not their daughter. You are.”
Yuri’s gazed flickered away, lips tight. Her head fell to the side, resting heavily on the pillow. “I want to talk to her.” Tiffany followed Yuri’s eyes to Yoona. Turning back, Yuri was looking at her. “Could you send her in?”
Tiffany’s furrowed her brow but didn’t ask anything about the request as she walked out of the room. “Yoona?”
She looked up from where she sat across the hall sitting neatly in a chair.
“She wants to see you.”
“Me?”
Tiffany nodded, stepping aside to allow Yoona to walk passed her. Through the blinds she saw Yuri motion for Yoona to close the door. It shut with a click and Tiffany dug through her bag for her cell phone, eyes on Yuri’s face that stared up at Yoona.
The phone rang a shrilly tone as she held it to her ear. The countless rings went on as normal, each one after the other just as painful as the previous.
Line cutting off, Tiffany’s breath hitched at Yuri’s tear glossed eyes and Yoona’s hunched shoulders.
Kwon Residence. Please leave a message and…
Tiffany pulled the phone down from her ear. Her head tilted. She wondered what Yuri was saying. Why she looked so sad and why Yoona thought it necessary to bow to deeply before she turned around and walked into the hall.
“Yoon-”
“Are you ready?” Yoona cut her off, voice a little shaky and face pale aside from the red in her cheeks.
“Is something wrong?” Tiffany’s brow creased.
Yoona shook her head, starting off toward the elevators. “Yuri asked if we could bring her an order of steamed rice. Coming?”
Tiffany peered over at Yuri seeing her soft smile just before they rounded the corner and out of sight.
-/-/-/-
“That should be everything.”
“Thank you, Taeyeon.” Tiffany smiled as she signed her name on the dotted line of a form.
“Wait here and I’ll get you your receipt and paperwork.” Taeyeon took up the clipboard and headed to the back of the funeral home.
Pulling from the front desk, Tiffany walked around the lobby. Soft music played from the speakers above in a strange mellow ambient tone for what the place specialized in. But, Tiffany found, not even music could take away the chillbumps that came to her skin as she eyed through the doors of a chapel to see a mock coffin sitting at the front alter.
“Bleak, isn’t it?” Tiffany turned over her shoulder to see Jessica. “It must take a sick person to want to work in a place like this.”
“What about Taeyeon?” Tiffany challenged, grinning.
Jessica waved a manicured hand in the air, disregarding the question. Tiffany got her answer to it anyway by the new addition of a diamond ring on her ring finger.
“Thank you for helping me with this.”
“Think of it as a sort of apology. Not that I owe you one but,” Tiffany nodded thinking she understood. Or maybe she didn’t want to know what Jessica really meant. It was too out of character for her. “Are you going to be okay?”
The tone in Jessica’s voice was sympathetic as Tiffany took the papers from Taeyeon and offered a bow. Turning back to Jessica she shrugged her shoulders, tucking the paperwork into her purse.
“I think so.”
“You really are something, Hwang.” She followed Jessica out the front doors who led her to her car. The locks popped once she approached it and Jessica opened her door for her. “I’m kind of jealous I let you go.”
“Thank you?” Tiffany laughed, sinking down into her car.
“Life’s a real bitch, isn’t it?” Jessica sighed, shaking her head as she held the door open. “Call me again some time?”
“Maybe.” Tiffany offered. Jessica rolled her eyes and slammed the door on her without as much as a goodbye.
Pulling up to the apartments, Tiffany climbed out with weighted shoulders. She leaned against the wall of the elevator, mind on funeral arrangements as she made her way up and out into the hall.
Keys jingling as she pulled them out of her purse, Tiffany stopped just short of her door after rounding the corner to see a tall figure standing in front of her door.
“Siwon?”
He gave a long smile as he stood up from where he leaned along the wall. “May I come in?”
-/-/-/-
Tiffany placed a glass of water on the table for Siwon before she moved to sit in the chair opposite him.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been as involved with what’s happening.” He picked up the glass, examining the contents but didn’t move to take a drink. “You and Yuri were like family to me.”
Tiffany smiled. After they moved away from Sunny, there was Siwon. He picked Yuri up for his team after seeing her flatten a girl in a match outside of Jeonju. He was like the older brother Yuri had forgotten and Tiffany never had.
“Speaking of family,” Siwon placed an envelope on the table from his inside jacket pocket. Tiffany regarded the blank front side cautiously, eyes flicking up to his. “The Kwon’s send their condolences.”
Tiffany picked at the flap, cutting it open with her nail. Inside she found a check written out to Yuri. “They sent this?”
“Yuri had me call them too,” Siwon explained, sipping his water. “Apparently they were sick of hearing us on their voicemail. I got this in the mail yesterday with a note saying they’re sorry for your troubles.”
Tiffany threw the envelope onto the table. “They think paying for all of the medical bills can make up for them not being here?”
“That’s the kind of people they are. You know that.”
“They’re her parents! Siwon, she’s dying!” Tiffany fummed, standing up from her seat. She paced over to the sink, anger building. “They couldn't even send it to us - to me. They sent it to you. You!”
“Did you expect any less?” He hummed. His even tone was irritating Tiffany nearly as much as the check. “I’m sorry-”
“No.” Tiffany swung around, finger pointing at him. “Don’t apologize for them.”
He let out a long sigh. Striding across the kitchen, Tiffany snatched up the envelope. “What’re you doing?”
She headed toward the trashcan. “I’m not accepting this.”
“Tiffany!” Siwon jumped up, hurrying over to wrestle the envelope from Tiffany’s fingers before she could rip it in half.
“Give it back.”
“Don’t do this.”
“Why not?”
“Because you need it.”
“We’ve managed fine without them.” She swiped for it but his reflexes were quicker, holding it out of her reach.
“But for how much longer?” He pressed. “The worse she gets the more it’s going to cost. Yuri’s savings can only cover so much and you’ve taken off from the office. Think about it, Tiffany. They’re being selfish but at least they sent you something.”
“It’s a cop out.”
“It’s something.” He held the envelope up for her to see it. Her eyes zeroed tightly onto it. “When was the last time they gave you or Yuri anything?”
The arms around her chest fell in defeat as she slumped back against the wall. That was true. They hadn’t said a kind word to Yuri since kicking her out and they completely cut all ties after they knew the two had gotten together.
“I hate them.” Tiffany muttered.
Siwon leaned against the sink, envelope thrown onto the counter wrinkled and bent behind him. “Think. After this, you never have to talk to them or see them again.”
Tiffany coughed out a sardonic laugh. “They're getting exactly what they wanted. We won’t be together anymore.”
“But you had something they didn’t.” Siwon started. Tiffany brought up her head to see the soft smile on his lips. “You had Yuri. They’ll never be able to know who she was. You do.”
Tiffany bit the inside of her lip feeling a smile threaten to push on.
Siwon was right.
“I do.”
-/-/-/-
“Have you eaten today?”
Her dream dissolved with the thick, mellow tone of a voice. Dull light picked at Tiffany’s closed eyes, willing her to open them and wake up but her fatigue was stronger, holding her rested in the cushioned chair across the hospital room.
“I wish she’d go home.”
Tiffany nearly opened her eyes at Yoona’s voice drawing closer to her. The weight of cloth blanket draped over Tiffany’s arms and her eyes began to roll back whisking her back to sleep until Yoona spoke again reminding her it wasn’t a dream.
“It looks like soup today. Here, I’ll help.”
Tiffany cracked her eyes to slits. She watched as Yoona helped Yuri sit up, resting her back against a thick pillow. Yuri’s neck lolled and Yoona tucked another pillow behind it for support before sitting on the edge of the bed. She took the top off a bowl sitting on the food tray and scooped up a spoon.
“It smells good.” Yoona smiled, blowing on a spoonful of soup. Yuri was quiet, sharing a soft smile before her lips parted and she took the spoonful. “How’s it taste?”
Tiffany saw Yuri’s grimace.
Yoona laughed, scooping more. Yuri took it without complaint. They went on in silence, Yoona blowing off spoons of soup until it was cool enough for her to feed Yuri directly. Tiffany felt a lump grow in her throat as she watched the two - the gentle way Yoona handled each bite, the patience she had when Yuri couldn't open her mouth right away fighting to swallow.
She felt her stomach clench at the way Yuri’s eyes never once left Yoona, staring into her with something Tiffany couldn't place. Whatever it was it was heavy and it was thick.
“I remember getting really sick when I was younger.” Said Yoona suddenly. A drop of soup rolled off Yuri’s lips and down her chin. Yoona grabbed a napkin to dab it up before it could drip onto her gown. “The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. They had to take all of these test and the entire time all I could eat were crackers and soup. I ate it so much that I started to hate it. Even now when someone mentions soup I feel nauseous.”
“Tiff,” Yuri mumbled. She took in a deep, labored breath before continuing. “Soup.”
“Is it good? I’ll have to try it one day.” Yoona smiled as she tapped the spoon on the side of the bowl and brought it to Yuri’s mouth. “That’s all. Tiffany will be glad to know you ate all of your dinner.”
Yoona slipped off the bed to clean up the tray and Tiffany closed her eyes before she could be discovered. She waited, heart pounding as shuffling sounds went on around her joining in the chorus of beeps and muffled calls from the hallway.
”Yoo?”
A long stretch of silence followed. Tiffany peeked through her lids. Yoona stood beside the bed, head angled down at Yuri. Both of their faces were empty - grave.
“I remember what you said.” Yoona assured. Yuri’s gaze flickered down to her hand. Tiffany thought she was the only one to know what she meant but Yoona took it into hers and squeezed. “I’ll make sure she gets home tonight.”
Yuri gave a slow nod before Yoona helped her sink back down into her bed and tucked her in. Once she was settled, Yoona paced over to the chair Tiffany sat in. She feigned sleep letting Yoona shake her shoulders until her eyes opened again.
“Come on,” Yoona smiled, leaning down to her level. “I have plenty of coffee at my place.”
-/-/-/-
Yoona’s place felt of warmth. Tiffany didn’t know if she liked it as she sat on the edge of Yoona’s bed, holding a change of clothes Yoona had offered her. She could smell the lavender detergent and feel the linen softness on her fingertips.
Tiffany’s eyes examined the room as they had the rest of the apartment. Yoona was a minimalist. No photographs up, only obscure works of abstract art. She was tidy, everything in perfect place however it was all off balance. The dresser off center beneath the clock, her square mirror rotated slightly to the left, her shoes weren’t exactly aligned with the mat.
It made Tiffany uneasily comfortable.
“I sat out an extra toothbrush for you.” Informed Yoona, walking into the bedroom with a set of towels she was taking into ensuite. “It’s the pink one next to the blue.”
“Really, I can take the couch.”
Yoona reappeared at the bathroom door, leaning against the frame. “You’re banned from sleeping on anymore chairs.”
Tiffany smiled shyly, dropping her head. Light flickered off in the bathroom and the mattress sunk beside her. Yoona’s warmth was apparent against her side. Such a stark contrast to what Tiffany felt being at home. Alone. Empty covers to her right...
“I’m closer to the hospital,” started Yoona. “You can stay here as much as you want.”
“I should be there now.”
“Give yourself a break.”
“What if she needs me in the morning?”
“There are doctors. You’re always there for Yuri.” Tiffany opened her mouth to protest when Yoona cut her off. “But who is for you?”
It wasn’t much. Yoona never said much but something in Tiffany shifted at her words. She felt one of those dimmer switches she had turned off flick back on and her chest seized.
Glossy eyes blinked up to Yoona and Tiffany just stared. She clenched her teeth, swallowing the thick lump. She clutched onto the clothes in her hands. She tightened everything inside of herself to keep from letting that dam break.
“I can’t afford to think like that.” Tiffany muttered, voice cracking. Her restraints were faltering.
“But you do.” Yoona whispered, her cold breath touching Tiffany’s face as she spoke. “And that’s okay.”
Tiffany turned away but warm fingers caught her chin. Her resistance against the tiny tug was halfhearted. She let Yoona turn her to face her again and swallowed as slender fingers brushed hair from her eyes.
“Let it go, Tiffany.” Yoona
Tiffany’s jaw tightened to the point it hurt. She wouldn't. She couldn’t.
“Please?” Yoona hooked her fingers beneath her chin to keep Tiffany from looking down. When she spoke again, Yoona’s voice quivered the way Tiffany’s heart did. “It hurts. Please, let it go.”
Yoona’s fingers caressed her cheeks, clearing away one tear after another that had already begun to seep out. It reminded Tiffany of how Yoona hand handled Yuri. How patiently she fed her and how gently she wiped at her face. She touched Yuri like the warm wisps of life fading out of her and caressed Tiffany with the life she was losing.
And then she broke.
Slender arms curved around her, pulling her in. Tiffany buried her face into Yoona’s sweater letting the bristles soak up her tears.
She could hear herself sobbing. She could hear how cracked she was and she hated it. She hated it as much as she hated the world for playing such a detestable card on her. She hated it all. She hated everything.
“It’s okay.” Yoona said above her and Tiffany’s body shook.
It wasn’t okay, but it was. Finally, in Yoona’s arms, she understood it was okay to break. It was okay to not be okay and it was okay to cling onto something.
And she did, body swaying as Yoona rocked them booth, hand smoothing up and down her back.
She let the dams flow.
-/-/-/-
“If we get caught-”
“We’re not going to get caught.”
“If we do, I’m blaming you.”
“It was my idea!”
“I swear if you get me banned from the hospital because you-”
“Shut up, and open the door!”
“I’m trying!” Sunny hissed back.
Metal creaked as Sunny jammed her shoulder into the door and forced it open. Chilly air whooshed into the hall, nearly pushing them back as Tiffany hoisted Yuri higher up on her back and Sunny held her from behind to keep her from falling off.
They stepped out onto the roof surrounded by darkness. The sight was a near mirror to the one Tiffany had seen when Yuri had brought her to the rooftop years ago. Neighboring buildings glowed their candlelight colors in windows and airplanes twinkled above bringing thick, whooshing sounds.
“You got her?” Asked Sunny, stepping back. Tiffany leaned forward, holding tightly to the underside of Yuri to keep her on. “I’ll keep watch. Don’t take all night.”
Disappearing back through the door, Sunny closed it behind her leaving the two alone. Tiffany’s feet crunched across the gravel, air heaving out of her chest. The weight of Yuri on her back made her knees sag but she kept moving, carrying Yuri closer to the edge where she stopped.
The sound from below was louder there, rising up in a meshed clash of echoes. Tiffany closed her eyes, letting the wind beat against her face along with the steady pulse of Yuri’s heart drumming on her back.
“Do you remember the time you pretended to jump?” Tiffany’s eyes fluttered open. Her gaze drew down to the street below watching the cars zip through traffic. “I was so mad at you. I even made you sleep on the couch.” She felt a small vibration in Yuri’s chest and Tiffany smiled knowing it was the sign of a laugh. “You remember what happened that night? I took the blanket off the bed and came to sleep with you.”
Tiffany’s legs shook as she stepped back from the edge and sank to her knees. The weight on her back shifted and she hurried to catch Yuri before she could slip off and leaned her up against the ledge where she sat motionless and quiet.
Her fingers pressed into Yuri’s smooth skin as she pushed hair away from dark, focused eyes. It made Tiffany’s chest constrict seeing them. There was so much life in those eyes. Such a terrible contrast to what was no longer left in most of her.
Sliding along the ground, Tiffany made place beside her, leaning Yuri onto her side to keep her up. Reaching out, she took her hand into hers and curled her fingers into a pair that couldn't return the gesture.
“Before I went to join you, I laid in bed crying.” Her head dropped on top of Yuri’s that rested on her shoulder. “At first I couldn't tell why. I didn’t know if it was because I was angry that you had played such a terrible prank on me or if I was scared because I couldn't help remembering how it felt thinking you had done it. Then I realized,” Tiffany shivered, hand clenching tighter onto Yuri’s. “It was because I was relieved you were still here.”
Lifting her head, Tiffany turned as she used her free hand to lift Yuri’s head up and face her. The look in her eyes was glossy but it was thick. She had spent enough years looking into those eyes to know everything that they spoke and every time she did she was taken away more by it than any words.
“And you’ll still be here.” Tiffany whispered, cupping Yuri’s chilled face in her hand. Her thumb rubbed softly against her cheek, foreheads pressed together. “You’ve given me everything, Yuri. I couldn't have asked for anyone else - anyone better.”
Tilting her head, she pressed her lips to Yuri’s, holding them there in a kiss that was weakly returned.
“You always told me I was your salvation but I don’t think I ever told you how much you were for me.” She brushed her thumb along Yuri’s cheek, blinking to her weighted eyes. “Would you like to know a secret?” Yuri’s lashes blinked twice in reply. Tiffany smiled, leaning to her ear. “You are my everything. So, please, wait for me?”
When she leaned back Yuri blinked twice again, the second one causing a stray tear to slip along her cheek. Tiffany quickly kissed it away, leaning them down so they laid against the cold concrete. Curling in, Tiffany rested her head on Yuri’s chest, ear over her heart.
Closing her eyes, she listened to the steady beating everything else all forgotten.
-/-/-/-
They were disgusting little things. Chalky white, plastic, tubes protruding from Yuri’s gaunt looking skin like foreign masses. Tiffany regarded them in heartbreaking disgust as the doctor taped it Yuri’s stomach and covered it up with her gown.
She glanced up, seeing the pitiful look in Yuri’s eyes. She had been such a good sport, always giving an eye smile to the ghastly things done to her. She had entered into a state of acceptance for her fate, giving Tiffany the last bit of strength for her to see it as well. She no longer had a choice than to take Yuri’s hand and walk along the last leg of the race with her.
“There’s no telling how much longer from here.”
“What do you estimate?”
“A few weeks? Maybe days.”
No one had been around but a motionless Yuri to help buffer the news. They sat in silence, allowing the new information to settle over them like the first report. The one that had sent their lives onto a crash course of fear, pain, guilt, redemption, and a finish line much too soon.
“You can’t get out of eating hospital food now.” She joked. Yuri’s eyes flickered up in a sort of eyeroll.
Sitting down in a stool, Tiffany leaned her elbows on the edge of the bed. The hum of machines was oddly soothing. She watched in the quiet as Yuri’s lids began to droop. It was late. Tiffany knew she was tired. Yuri was always tired.
“Don’t fight it, baby.” Tiffany smoothed her knuckles along Yuri’s sunken cheeks. From the looks of her now, no one would ever think she had been a fighter, thick, and menacing. “I’ll be here.”
Her phone chimed.
Tiffany winced at Sunny’s name on the screen. “I’ll be right back.”
Out in the hall, she answered. “Hey.”
“I got your text,” Sunny sounded just as tired as Tiffany felt and as worn as Yuri looked. “Do you want me to come up?”
“No,” Tiffany leaned back against the wall. “I want to be alone with her for now.”
Sunny hummed in reply. “Call me if you need anything.”
“Anything?”
They both went quiet knowing the truth. Knowing that what they both wanted was their friend and lover to be well. Tiffany had seen it even on Sunny as time dwindled. Inevitability took its toll on her nearly as much as it had Tiffany.
“Get some sleep.” Was the last thing Sunny said before the line went dead.
Tiffany wondered, as she padded back into the room to find Yuri asleep, if she could take the silence of the end as well as she could the ending of a call.
One look at Yuri’s face she knew the answer like she knew from the beginning.
Somethings just never become easy to handle. This was no exception.
-/-/-/-
"Hello?"
Tiffany stepped into the apartment.
All lights were off.
"Yuri?"
She sucked in a breath as a flame sparked to life. Fire burned off the tip of a match, orange glow casting on Yuri's face in distorted flickering light. Pushing the door closed, Tiffany removed her hand from over her racing heart watching Yuri draw steadily closer to her.
"What're you doing?"
The stalk of a long candle entered the low light, wick catching flame before Yuri blew out the match and reached out for Tiffany.
"Baby?"
"Shhh," Yuri's fingers curled around her hand and pulled.
Tiffany walked slowly, eyes squinting in the darkness with only candlelight as their guide.
"Sit," Yuri instructed.
"Where?"
"Sit down." Hands pressed down on Tiffany's shoulders.
Reaching the floor, she felt around feeling the soft threads of a comforter and the smooth surface of glass.
"Yul, what's this?" Her fingers traced the rim, outlining the edges of a plate.
The rest of the spread around them came into focus as Yuri lit a set of candles on the floor. Her eyes were slow to adjust to the plates, and cups, and silverware before her.
"Close your eyes," Yuri instructed.
Tiffany used her hands to cover her eyes. She listened to shuffling followed by the squeak of Styrofoam. The aroma of generic, cooked noodles drowning in sauce hit her nose and she smiled at the clink of chopsticks on plates.
“Okay,” something poured into glasses with the hiss of a fizz. “Open.”
Blinking, Tiffany’s smile erupted. She could see the Styrofoam of the to-go cartons sticking from beneath the table behind Yuri and she laughed catching a glimpse of the label of plastic soda bottle she had kicked away into the corner.
Picking up one of the wine glasses, Tiffany brought it to her nose laughing at the tickling bubbles of grape soda that pricked at her senses.
“It’s not much…” Yuri crossed her legs across from her.
“It’s perfect, Yul,” she assured. “What’s the occasion?”
“Us.”
“Us?”
Yuri nodded, biting at her lip nervously and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for always being out late, for walking on the carpet in my shoes, and leaving my dirty dishes in the sink.”
Tiffany looked sheepishly over at Yuri and sighed. “And I’m sorry for putting work first, for leaving my wet towel on the bed, and eating the last of the jelly and leaving the empty jar in the fridge.” She frowned. “I promise to do better.”
“Me too.” Yuri picked up her soda filled glass and held it up above a candle. “To starting over?”
“To starting over.” Tiffany clinked her glass to Yuri’s and sipped.
“Mmm-here,” Tiffany quickly put her glass down and reached for the chopsticks.
Pinching up a wad of noodles, she guided it over to Tiffany’s mouth. Tiffany blew on it lightly before taking it into her mouth and chewing.
“Good?”
Nodding, Tiffany gathered some onto her own chopsticks to feed Yuri. A noodle slapped against her chin and Tiffany laughed, using her fingers to help get it into her Yuri’s mouth. She gasped when her fingers got stuck between her lips, mouth sucking the sauce off.
Tiffany blushed as Yuri released them and licked her lips with a grin. The flames flickered off her eyes in an alluring flash of colors. Tiffany found herself watching the light beat off the lines of her face. It made her look warm to the touch, ignited with something dangerous behind those dark eyes shrouded in falling strands of black hair.
Tiffany moved slowly, hands cupping Yuri’s face and held on to guide the rest of her body over. She crawled passed plates and glasses and candles, taking Yuri’s sweet and sour lips.
“Tiff?”
“Thank you,” she muttered into her mouth, tongue sneaking passed teeth to taste everything off Yuri’s tongue.
She pushed her back with purpose, feeling safe in Yuri’s arms that wrapped around her waist. She couldn’t remember the last time she had kissed Yuri this way – with every bit of her heart and admiration.
Something inside of her was reaching out, clawing at the girl that had turned everything for her upside down. And she wanted to feel everything, every inch of what she had found.
Her hands were greedy, pulling off Yuri’s shirt and quickly stripped away her own. The buckle of a belt pressed into her stomach, sending chills down her nerves that sparked to their peak as Yuri rolled them over and her shoulders landed off the blanket and onto the cold floor.
“Close your eyes,” Yuri whispered at her ear.
Tiffany did as she was told, hands holding onto Yuri’s shoulder as a hand pushed away the restraint of pants down her legs.
She didn’t open her eyes again for the rest of the night.
-/-/-/-
“That was one of my favorite nights together.” Tiffany smiled.
She sat on a stool beside the bed, head draped on Yuri’s stomach and eyes closed as she clutched her hand. The constant chime of machines had grown into a familiar, ambient noise in the background nearly soothing her to sleep.
“Do you remember that, Yul?” She asked into the dark silence, eyes opening to see Yuri’s head lolled to one side, eyes shut and mouth slightly parted. “Yuri?”
Tiffany sat up, moving to cup her face. Heavy lids opened at the touch to the smallest of slivers. With a slow blink, Yuri gave her answer and Tiffany smiled. Of course she remembered.
“Sleep now. I’ll be right here.” Tiffany muttered, smoothing a hand over her hair. Eyes closing, Yuri’s lips twitched just barely. Tiffany leaned down, pressing hers to them.
She could hear every slow, labored breath as she held her lips there, eyes closed, and warm tears slipping along her cheeks. She heard the shift in machines, the steady beeping become erratic and warning. She could hear the sound of her own heart beating hard to the weak one slowly giving out.
“I love you,” she whispered against Yuri’s lips. “I love you so much.”
She pressed their lips together again, holding on until the last machine played its final, single, note.
And then she let go.
-
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Tiffany/Yuri
Summary: Somewhere between beginnings and ends
AN: Beta credit to bobalub
Part IV
“In cominnnnnng!”
Tiffany heard it just as the elevator chimed open. Stepping out, she watched in amused horror as Sunny came burling down the hall pushing a laughing Yuri in a wheelchair pass the eyes of shocked and angry doctors and confused patients.
“Lee Soonkyu!” Tiffany hissed, storming up the hall.
“Fany-yah!” She shouted, waving a hand in the air. “Come play with us.”
In the wheelchair Yuri bit her lip to hide her grin as a doctor came up to them. Tiffany stood back watching Sunny’s face fall as he reprimanded her and kindly asked her to take the patient back to her room before they called security.
Tiffany was the only one laughing as she watched the two roll their way back up the hall with their heads down.
-/-/-/-
“What did you think they were going to say?” Tiffany shook her head, pulling out bagel sandwiches from the deli bag she had brought. She handed one off to Sunny who sat on a stool by the head of Yuri’s hospital bed.
Sitting up on the cushion, Yuri peeled back the wrappings of hers while Tiffany climbed onto the foot of the bed and sat cross-legged in front of her. It had become their recent routine. Yuri hated hospital breakfast and Tiffany wasn’t about to watch her deteriorate more than she already was from not eating. Sausage, egg, and cheese on a honey-glazed bagel always lifted Yuri’s spirits.
“They’re all squares.” Sunny grumbled through a mouthful.
“They're going to kick you out.”
“They couldn’t keep me out.” Sunny smirked over to Yuri who returned it with a nod.
Tiffany rolled her eyes. “Kids.”
Sunny snickered, leaning over to Yuri striking up conversation. Tiffany watched them quietly as she chewed. She hadn’t thought about it before but Sunny’s presence had toned things down. Her easiness kept the air light, playful, fun. She kept them all looking forward instead of Tiffany looking back.
But maybe Tiffany had been subconsciously aware of what her being there did.
“Hotels are expensive and I have a couch.” Tiffany had told her.
Sunny waited until Yuri was relocated to the hospital - it was easier for her to be there than home - before she moved in not wanting to trump on their alone time. Tiffany couldn't say how seeing her in the kitchen making a pot of coffee before she ran to the station in the morning and her tucked in by eight in the evening kept her sane.
That apartment had never known solitude. Tiffany was certain without Yuri always there she’d go crazy.
At the chime of her phone, Tiffany dug through her purse and pulled it out. Her brow furrowed at the number before it registered and she slipped off the bed and walked out the door.
“Hello?”
“To what did I owe the pleasure of hearing you on my voicemail?”
Tiffany glanced back over her shoulder. She rolled her eyes at Sunny who had taken Yuri’s sandwich and was moving it around in the air like an airplane. Yuri snatched it away before it could make it to her mouth and Sunny laughed loud enough for Tiffany to hear it in the hall.
“I need a favor,” she whispered into the receiver.
“They always do,” Jessica sighed but Tiffany could hear the smile in her voice. “Speak to me, Hwang.”
-/-/-/-
Tiffany stood back, bouncing on the balls of her feet as Yuri taped the last end of a red ribbon on the doorframe so it draped across the entrance of their new apartment.
"Come on, come on, come on!" Her excitement was getting the best of her. Her cheerful little claps as Yuri pulled out a pair of scissors from her back pocket drew a smile from a neighbor who was on his way down the hall. "Let me do it too!"
"Get over here!" Yuri offered the hand holding the scissors to allow Tiffany to slip a finger through one of the holes and curve them around Yuri's.
She grinned as they brought the scissors closer to the ribbon, opening the blades around it.
"One." Said Yuri.
"Two,"
"Three!" They chimed at the same time as the scissors cut through the ribbon.
Tiffany didn't take a beat before she undid the knob and rushed into the apartment. She flitted around the place made up and laid out the way they had laboriously done the past week.
The scent of new furniture still lingered in the air with the familiar fragrance of her old books stacked in a bookshelf. Her eyes swept through, catching all the new and the old. The clash of her and Yuri all made into one creating the home she hoped to spend many more years with the woman who was slowly pacing through the living room.
Skipping across the floor, Tiffany ran smack into Yuri, colliding into her chest.
"Omph!" Yuri let out, wrapping her arms around Tiffany as they stumbled a bit.
"Welcome home, baby," Tiffany’s couldn't help her smile as her lips met Yuri's.
Yuri's own grin took over. "Welcome home." She hoisted Tiffany up, spinning them around, socks sliding easily along the hardwood.
Tiffany laughed, head thrown back as the room whirled around them.
Flashes of future filled her head as lights bled into counters and warm, chocolate paint along the walls blinded into curtains. Her mind painted Yuri lounged exhausted and snoring on the couch while Tiffany threw a blanket over her. She saw herself coming home from work, dinner in hand, and sharing kisses in the doorframe. She imagined laughing on weekend mornings in a pile of blankets sipping coffee and licking away bits of syrup.
“Should we call Sunny?” Asked Yuri, falling onto the couch.
Tiffany came down after her, breathless and wobbly. “What for?”
Yuri picked at a strand of hair stuck to Tiffany’s hair. She smoothed it in her fingers down to the tip and kissed the ends. “She promised to bring wine for the christening.”
“We don’t need wine for a christening.” Tiffany winked.
Yuri’s laugh came out thick and charged from the center of her chest as Tiffany took her by the hand and led them off the couch.
They moved uncoordinated and sloppily down the short hall, dizziness slow to leave them as they spun into the bedroom and crashed onto a mattress weighted with crisp, new blankets and sheets.
They hugged Tiffany’s shoulders with a promise that Yuri sealed perfectly with a kiss.
-/-/-/-
“She deals with people as dead as my future,” Jessica deadpanned leading Tiffany into the funeral home. Tiffany snorted. “You think I’m joking? She’s been tossing around “The Big M”. We both know there’s only one big M that I’m comfortable with and that usually involves only one hand and no diamonds.”
Tiffany flushed. “And you couldn’t believe I was with a boxer?”
“What can I say? I’m morbid.” Jessica shrugged. “We’re going to have to make a ton of coffins for my family if we go through with this shitty idea. You and yours could never.” Jessica grinned, head whipping around to call out. “Taeng, hun, customer.”
Tiffany stood stiff and awkward as she watched a short woman with cropped, blonde tipped hair in a black pantsuit come walking from the back. She glared slightly at Jessica who offered a wink and turned to Tiffany with an outstretched hand.
“Hi, I’m Taeyeon.”
“Nice to meet you,” she shook her hand. “I’m -”
“My ex,” Jessica swooped in. Taeyeon’s lips pursed as her eyes looked Tiffany over and away. Tiffany didn’t know if she should be offended by the dismissal or not. “I told her you could give her a discount on arrangements. Flowers, casket, taxidermy-”
“Embalming,” Taeyeon corrected, dryly.
Jessica didn’t miss a beat. “It’s for her wife.” She said with a tone of loaded sincerity. Something in Taeyeon’s expression softened when she glanced at Tiffany. “Do you think you could work out a deal? I promised.”
“You’re always making promises you know you can’t keep.”
“I haven’t said yes yet.”
“No, that’s right, you haven’t.” Taeyeon turned her attention back to Tiffany who shifted in her heels as Jessica shot daggers at Taeyeon. “I don’t think I caught your name.”
“Tiffany.”
“Follow me,” Taeyeon gestured with a hand, telling Jessica to stay put with her eyes. “We'll see what I can do.”
-/-/-/-
There was a morbid feeling carrying floral magazines in her bag through the halls of the hospital. As if she were trying to decide on what colors would go nicely with bridesmaid’s dresses and table arrangements the way they had done all in jest sitting on the floor in the middle of the store years ago.
The memory struck up a smile on Tiffany’s lips as she rounded a corner to make her way to Yuri’s wing. She remembered the way her face wouldn't stop heating up, the tips of her ears burning bright red as Yuri spoke in detail of how she would marry her if she could.
She spoke like a fairytale and grinned like a little girl with hands waving in the air. Tiffany laughed beside her, flipping pages in a magazine until one of the associates told them they couldn't block the aisle and they had to leave.
Tiffany never did forget it. And she never forgot the bouquet of flowers Yuri had delivered to her job.
“Miss Hwang?”
Tiffany stopped a few strides short of Yuri’s room. The door was pulled shut and the blinds over the window were closed. Turning around, she was met with the face of one of the doctors. He approached her with a soft smile on his face, thumb clicking a pen he stuffed neatly into his coat pocket.
“Could I speak with you a moment?” Her gaze lingered on Yuri’s door before she followed him to the far end of the hall. When he faced her again his smile was gone. “Though you're not family, you’re the only one we can get into contact with concerning Yuri.”
She swallowed down the retort about how she was more to Yuri than her family could be or ever was to her. “Is there something wrong?”
“There’s been a change in her condition.” He spoke slowly and precisely. Tiffany watched his lips move, brow creasing more and more as he continued. “At this stage, it’s unpredictable how rapidly she will begin to decline. We’re seeing less and less movement capability in her upper limbs - arms and hands - but her vitals are holding up.”
Her eyes shifted from one of his to the other that never fully held onto hers. They flickered away at the harsh chime from one rooms and snapped over at the drone of a nurse’s voice over the announcement speakers.
“What’s been the change?” .
He licked his lips, stalling a second longer. “As of this morning, Yuri’s lost most to all mobility in the lower half of her body.”
Her mind was slow to catch up with the new information. “Are you telling me she can no longer walk?”
"Unfortunately. It happened seemingly overnight.” He went on. Tiffany fought to keep her own nervous, racing pulse under control. “We had her work with a physical therapist this morning but it was ineffective as we knew it would be.”
“Thank you, doctor.”
He nodded. “We’ll keep you updated on her condition from here on out.”
“Thank you.” She bowed mechanically and turned back down the hall.
The purse on her shoulder felt like a dead weight as she reached Yuri’s door and knocked on it twice before twisting the knob and letting herself in. Yuri sat like normal, back leaned against the incline of the bed. She held a remote in her hand, switching through channels on a TV hanging from the ceiling in front of her.
She turned with a weak smile, deep black hair falling wavy over her shoulders in a stark contrast against the white of her gown. When Tiffany reached her, she muted the TV.
“You’re early.”
“I finished up at the office.” Tiffany pulled up the chair from the wall and sat down beside the bed.
“What’s in the bag?”
She had almost forgotten. “Floral magazines.” Pulling out one, she laid it in her lap. “What were you watching?”
“Something Sunny recommended. It’s shit.” Yuri laughed, dropping the remote.
Tiffany echoed her laugh. She leaned an elbow on her knee, chin resting on her hand as their laughter faded out. The air was tight - uneasy. Yuri pushed her hands against the cushion of the bed to move her further up. Tiffany watched her closely, eyes dropping down to the outline of her legs dragging beneath the blanket.
“I talked to your doctor.” Tiffany muttered. She flickered her gaze back up. Yuri stared down at her like someone caught in the act. “Are you okay?”
“We knew this would-”
“-happen, I know. I know.”
Awkward silence persisted one heavy second at a time. What more could be said about it?
“Can I see what you picked?”
Nodding, Tiffany scooted closer and opened the cover to the last page she had been looking at. She studied Yuri’s stoic expression, trying to read between the lines for what was hidden beneath. But maybe there wasn’t and it was her own tumultuous soul that was still knocked off its axis from the news.
“These are-”
“-Ugly?” Tiffany cut in, quickly snapping to the next page. “That’s what I said.” She shuffled through a few more pages, her eyes seeing but her mind not taking any of it in. Why did you need flowers for these things anyway?
“Tiffany?” Her neck snapped up, eyes locking with Yuri’s. She looked nervous the way her mouth bobbed, fishing for the right words. “Will you call my parents?”
“Your…”
“I…” she looked away, gaze dropping to the glossy sight of white petals and green leaves on the pages. “I want them to know.”
Tiffany recalled the last call she had made to the Kwon’s. The silence of a call ended, the terse voices appalled she dared call, the accusatory jabs that it was her fault their daughter was unwell, and the familiar ring of an answering machine picking up.
Tiffany swallowed passed the thick lump stuck in her throat. “Okay.”
-/-/-/-
A small shake of the shoulder woke her up.
Tiffany peeled her face from her folded arms along the bed and ran a hand through her tangled hair. The book she had been reading was still turned over, draped over Yuri's hip while she slept peacefully to the beeping machines sounding near her head.
"Thanks," Tiffany muttered taking the styrofoam cup from the hand holding it down to her. She took a sip before looking at the contents and furrowed her brow. "Were they out of coffee?"
Yoona grinned as she moved to pull the blanket up over Yuri's steadily rising and falling chest. "You need to sleep, not the other way around."
Tiffany stood to move the chair she had pulled beside Yuri's bed back against the wall and sat down into it heavily. "I'm fine.”
"Tell that to the bags under your eyes." Yoona padded quietly over to sink down in the chair beside Tiffany. "She'll be here in the morning. Go home."
"I don't want to leave her." She eyed the still body on the bed tucked in stark white sheets and dressed in a periwinkle polka dotted gown.
In sleep she almost looked at ease. No worry lines tainting her forehead and no jagged smiles framed by sunken cheeks. She almost looked like the Yuri she loved to wake up to, lie in bed with, and watch as her lashes fluttered and eyes moved beneath heavy lids while she dreamed.
"Do you think those beds are comfortable?"
"I think you get used to it." Yoona replied.
Tiffany turned to look at Yoona who was sipping from a can of juice. "What’re you doing here?”
"Sunny said you were still here so I came by."
"To put me to bed?"
Yoona winced. "She’s worried about your back."
Tiffany rolled her eyes, laughing softly as she drank the water from her cup. "It feels wrong to leave her."
Yoona let out a weighted breath beside her as she leaned back in her chair. "I would have left."
"At first that’s what you think. I did." Tiffany admitted. Yoona’s gaze dipped to her, dark brown eyes illuminated by a low lamp burning on the far side of the room. "I used to ask myself what would happen if I left now? If I leave today, or the next, if I would’ve left a week before? It wouldn't have changed anything. I would lose Yuri either way."
"What made you stay?"
Tiffany felt a tug pull up at the corner of her mouth as she stared at Yuri again. Her lips were parted slightly, the faint sounds of a tiny snore seeping out into the room. It made Tiffany want to climb up in the bed and snuggle next to her.
"Someone like her - like Yuri - deserves to leave this world better than the way she came into it.” She spoke softly head tilting. “We were that for each other. I wouldn't make her suffer alone."
"I envy you."
Tiffany's eyebrow lifted as Yoona looked away from her. "Thank you."
"Thank you?" Her own brow furrowed at the words, turning back to Tiffany.
"All everyone has done is pity me." Tiffany smiled, voice dipping. "So, thank you."
-/-/-/-
“I’m at the door.”
Tiffany sat in a stiff backed chair, eyes on the door as keys jingled in the lock from the outside. She could feel her anger beneath the surface of her skin like a ticking time bomb, each little sound of Yuri letting herself in drawing the numbers closer and closer to detonation.
“I’m in. See you tomorrow.” Yuri’s voice slurred through the air into her phone. She stuffed it into her pocket and tossed her keys onto the coffee table, steps a little jagged as she started to pass by Tiffany she didn’t see.
"Did you have fun?”
Yuri froze, taken by surprise. When her eyes found Tiffany, she grinned something sloppy and wide. "You should've come out with us tonight!"
"I was working." Tiffany motioned to her folders and laptop on the table. She hadn’t touched them the past hour. Yuri’s absence had taken up her concentration as it did most evenings Yuri was gone. Her expectations of what she saw their life living together look like were seemingly flushed away.
"You're always working." Yuri muttered and began to walk off again.
Tiffany’s words stopped her. "Not much to say about the one who comes home drunk every night."
"Hey, I'm just having a good time. You could at least congratulate me." Yuri held up a medal. Tiffany ignored it.
"I'm not going to congratulate someone who thinks knocking a girl unconscious is fun.” She snapped back. “It's sick, Yuri, and you know it."
"The hell is your problem?"
“Nothing.” Tiffany looked away from her. She didn’t want to explode. She picked up her things and headed for their room when Yuri stood in front of her. "Get out of my way."
"Talk to me,"
"Move, Yuri." She pushed. She could taste the alcohol off Yuri’s breath and it made her sick.
"You started this and we're gonna finish it."
"I'm already finished."
Yuri gripped her arms, using her strength to hold her in place. "I'm not."
"Move!"
"Sit. Down!" Yuri shoved.
Tiffany lost the breath from her lungs as she stumbled over her feet and fell roughly onto the couch where she bounced. Yuri hovered above her looking menacing down at her. Tiffany swallowed hard, voice shaking as she muttered.
"What're you going to do?” Tiffany taunted. “Hit me?"
Yuri’s lip peeled back, hurt and disgust coming to her face at the words."You're not worth it."
"What am I worth? Not your time anymore.”
Yuri shook her head. “This is a fucking joke.” She backed off, picking up the bag she had thrown beside the couch and slung it over her shoulder.
Tiffany panicked, sliding to the edge of the couch. “Where are you going?”
“None of your business.”
“Nothing’s my business is it?” Yuri glanced back at her over her shoulder, brow drawn in tight. “Is it, Yuri?” Tiffany prodded. Yuri turned away from her and opened the door. “Yuri!”
Door slamming, she was left alone with the ring of her own voice in reply.
-/-/-/-
Too fast.
Things were happening too fast.
“They're talking about breathing machines.” Tiffany whispered on the line to Sunny.
Through twisted blinds hanging over glass, her heavy eyes watched a white-coated doctor and his nurse move around Yuri. A tiny smile pulled at Yuri’s lips and her eyes crinkled in the corners. One of them must’ve cracked a joke. Yuri only had that almost going to laugh look when she found something silly rather than laugh worthy. Tiffany blinked away.
“You know I want to be there with you but we’re starting that marathon fundraiser at the station and-”
“You’ve done enough. I only wanted to keep you updated.” Tiffany’s eyes caught sight of dark hair and low heels coming around the corner. She raised a hand to wave at Yoona who offered a smile.
“I’ll visit as soon as I can.”
“You’re a really great friend, Sunny.”
A tired laugh came from the other line. “And don’t you forget it.”
“Hi. You didn’t have to come.”
Yoona waved her off. “How is she?”
“She’s…”
Yoona nodded gathering it all. Her head tilted as she stared through the window with Tiffany. Inside, Yuri’s head lolled to the side as one of the doctors pressed a stethoscope to her chest. Her gaze found Yoona first, hanging on for a few seconds before she looked to Tiffany and the doctor distracted her with a question.
“Maybe I shouldn’t come.” Yoona muttered beside her.
“Yoona, I don’t think-”
“Miss Hwang?” Came the nurse, clutching a clipboard. “You can go in now.”
“Thank you.” She bowed, turning to Yoona who moved to sit in one of the chairs against the wall.
She pushed on a smile. “Go on. I’ll wait.”
Tiffany teetered on the balls of her feet before she walked into the room, pulling the door behind her. Yuri struggled to sit herself up on weak arms. Tiffany hurried to help her lean her back against the thick pillow behind her.
Pulling up the stool, she sank down. “Hi.”
A second passed as Yuri struggled to find a voice. When she did, it came out partially slurred. “Hi.”
Tiffany pushed on a smile, hand smoothing out a wrinkle in her gown. “Yoona and I were going to get dinner. Is there anything you’d like?” Yuri shook her head. “I heard the receptionist talking about chicken surprise. Who knows what they’re cooking?”
Yuri shook her head again. “Did you call them?”
Tiffany bit the inside of her lip. She sank down, sitting on the edge of the bed. Draped to the side, Tiffany saw Yuri’s fingers move, hand stretching out for hers. She took it up, threading their fingers together.
“Maybe you should be the one to do it.”
Yuri sighed. “If they won’t talk to you-”
“I’m not their daughter. You are.”
Yuri’s gazed flickered away, lips tight. Her head fell to the side, resting heavily on the pillow. “I want to talk to her.” Tiffany followed Yuri’s eyes to Yoona. Turning back, Yuri was looking at her. “Could you send her in?”
Tiffany’s furrowed her brow but didn’t ask anything about the request as she walked out of the room. “Yoona?”
She looked up from where she sat across the hall sitting neatly in a chair.
“She wants to see you.”
“Me?”
Tiffany nodded, stepping aside to allow Yoona to walk passed her. Through the blinds she saw Yuri motion for Yoona to close the door. It shut with a click and Tiffany dug through her bag for her cell phone, eyes on Yuri’s face that stared up at Yoona.
The phone rang a shrilly tone as she held it to her ear. The countless rings went on as normal, each one after the other just as painful as the previous.
Line cutting off, Tiffany’s breath hitched at Yuri’s tear glossed eyes and Yoona’s hunched shoulders.
Kwon Residence. Please leave a message and…
Tiffany pulled the phone down from her ear. Her head tilted. She wondered what Yuri was saying. Why she looked so sad and why Yoona thought it necessary to bow to deeply before she turned around and walked into the hall.
“Yoon-”
“Are you ready?” Yoona cut her off, voice a little shaky and face pale aside from the red in her cheeks.
“Is something wrong?” Tiffany’s brow creased.
Yoona shook her head, starting off toward the elevators. “Yuri asked if we could bring her an order of steamed rice. Coming?”
Tiffany peered over at Yuri seeing her soft smile just before they rounded the corner and out of sight.
-/-/-/-
“That should be everything.”
“Thank you, Taeyeon.” Tiffany smiled as she signed her name on the dotted line of a form.
“Wait here and I’ll get you your receipt and paperwork.” Taeyeon took up the clipboard and headed to the back of the funeral home.
Pulling from the front desk, Tiffany walked around the lobby. Soft music played from the speakers above in a strange mellow ambient tone for what the place specialized in. But, Tiffany found, not even music could take away the chillbumps that came to her skin as she eyed through the doors of a chapel to see a mock coffin sitting at the front alter.
“Bleak, isn’t it?” Tiffany turned over her shoulder to see Jessica. “It must take a sick person to want to work in a place like this.”
“What about Taeyeon?” Tiffany challenged, grinning.
Jessica waved a manicured hand in the air, disregarding the question. Tiffany got her answer to it anyway by the new addition of a diamond ring on her ring finger.
“Thank you for helping me with this.”
“Think of it as a sort of apology. Not that I owe you one but,” Tiffany nodded thinking she understood. Or maybe she didn’t want to know what Jessica really meant. It was too out of character for her. “Are you going to be okay?”
The tone in Jessica’s voice was sympathetic as Tiffany took the papers from Taeyeon and offered a bow. Turning back to Jessica she shrugged her shoulders, tucking the paperwork into her purse.
“I think so.”
“You really are something, Hwang.” She followed Jessica out the front doors who led her to her car. The locks popped once she approached it and Jessica opened her door for her. “I’m kind of jealous I let you go.”
“Thank you?” Tiffany laughed, sinking down into her car.
“Life’s a real bitch, isn’t it?” Jessica sighed, shaking her head as she held the door open. “Call me again some time?”
“Maybe.” Tiffany offered. Jessica rolled her eyes and slammed the door on her without as much as a goodbye.
Pulling up to the apartments, Tiffany climbed out with weighted shoulders. She leaned against the wall of the elevator, mind on funeral arrangements as she made her way up and out into the hall.
Keys jingling as she pulled them out of her purse, Tiffany stopped just short of her door after rounding the corner to see a tall figure standing in front of her door.
“Siwon?”
He gave a long smile as he stood up from where he leaned along the wall. “May I come in?”
-/-/-/-
Tiffany placed a glass of water on the table for Siwon before she moved to sit in the chair opposite him.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been as involved with what’s happening.” He picked up the glass, examining the contents but didn’t move to take a drink. “You and Yuri were like family to me.”
Tiffany smiled. After they moved away from Sunny, there was Siwon. He picked Yuri up for his team after seeing her flatten a girl in a match outside of Jeonju. He was like the older brother Yuri had forgotten and Tiffany never had.
“Speaking of family,” Siwon placed an envelope on the table from his inside jacket pocket. Tiffany regarded the blank front side cautiously, eyes flicking up to his. “The Kwon’s send their condolences.”
Tiffany picked at the flap, cutting it open with her nail. Inside she found a check written out to Yuri. “They sent this?”
“Yuri had me call them too,” Siwon explained, sipping his water. “Apparently they were sick of hearing us on their voicemail. I got this in the mail yesterday with a note saying they’re sorry for your troubles.”
Tiffany threw the envelope onto the table. “They think paying for all of the medical bills can make up for them not being here?”
“That’s the kind of people they are. You know that.”
“They’re her parents! Siwon, she’s dying!” Tiffany fummed, standing up from her seat. She paced over to the sink, anger building. “They couldn't even send it to us - to me. They sent it to you. You!”
“Did you expect any less?” He hummed. His even tone was irritating Tiffany nearly as much as the check. “I’m sorry-”
“No.” Tiffany swung around, finger pointing at him. “Don’t apologize for them.”
He let out a long sigh. Striding across the kitchen, Tiffany snatched up the envelope. “What’re you doing?”
She headed toward the trashcan. “I’m not accepting this.”
“Tiffany!” Siwon jumped up, hurrying over to wrestle the envelope from Tiffany’s fingers before she could rip it in half.
“Give it back.”
“Don’t do this.”
“Why not?”
“Because you need it.”
“We’ve managed fine without them.” She swiped for it but his reflexes were quicker, holding it out of her reach.
“But for how much longer?” He pressed. “The worse she gets the more it’s going to cost. Yuri’s savings can only cover so much and you’ve taken off from the office. Think about it, Tiffany. They’re being selfish but at least they sent you something.”
“It’s a cop out.”
“It’s something.” He held the envelope up for her to see it. Her eyes zeroed tightly onto it. “When was the last time they gave you or Yuri anything?”
The arms around her chest fell in defeat as she slumped back against the wall. That was true. They hadn’t said a kind word to Yuri since kicking her out and they completely cut all ties after they knew the two had gotten together.
“I hate them.” Tiffany muttered.
Siwon leaned against the sink, envelope thrown onto the counter wrinkled and bent behind him. “Think. After this, you never have to talk to them or see them again.”
Tiffany coughed out a sardonic laugh. “They're getting exactly what they wanted. We won’t be together anymore.”
“But you had something they didn’t.” Siwon started. Tiffany brought up her head to see the soft smile on his lips. “You had Yuri. They’ll never be able to know who she was. You do.”
Tiffany bit the inside of her lip feeling a smile threaten to push on.
Siwon was right.
“I do.”
-/-/-/-
“Have you eaten today?”
Her dream dissolved with the thick, mellow tone of a voice. Dull light picked at Tiffany’s closed eyes, willing her to open them and wake up but her fatigue was stronger, holding her rested in the cushioned chair across the hospital room.
“I wish she’d go home.”
Tiffany nearly opened her eyes at Yoona’s voice drawing closer to her. The weight of cloth blanket draped over Tiffany’s arms and her eyes began to roll back whisking her back to sleep until Yoona spoke again reminding her it wasn’t a dream.
“It looks like soup today. Here, I’ll help.”
Tiffany cracked her eyes to slits. She watched as Yoona helped Yuri sit up, resting her back against a thick pillow. Yuri’s neck lolled and Yoona tucked another pillow behind it for support before sitting on the edge of the bed. She took the top off a bowl sitting on the food tray and scooped up a spoon.
“It smells good.” Yoona smiled, blowing on a spoonful of soup. Yuri was quiet, sharing a soft smile before her lips parted and she took the spoonful. “How’s it taste?”
Tiffany saw Yuri’s grimace.
Yoona laughed, scooping more. Yuri took it without complaint. They went on in silence, Yoona blowing off spoons of soup until it was cool enough for her to feed Yuri directly. Tiffany felt a lump grow in her throat as she watched the two - the gentle way Yoona handled each bite, the patience she had when Yuri couldn't open her mouth right away fighting to swallow.
She felt her stomach clench at the way Yuri’s eyes never once left Yoona, staring into her with something Tiffany couldn't place. Whatever it was it was heavy and it was thick.
“I remember getting really sick when I was younger.” Said Yoona suddenly. A drop of soup rolled off Yuri’s lips and down her chin. Yoona grabbed a napkin to dab it up before it could drip onto her gown. “The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong. They had to take all of these test and the entire time all I could eat were crackers and soup. I ate it so much that I started to hate it. Even now when someone mentions soup I feel nauseous.”
“Tiff,” Yuri mumbled. She took in a deep, labored breath before continuing. “Soup.”
“Is it good? I’ll have to try it one day.” Yoona smiled as she tapped the spoon on the side of the bowl and brought it to Yuri’s mouth. “That’s all. Tiffany will be glad to know you ate all of your dinner.”
Yoona slipped off the bed to clean up the tray and Tiffany closed her eyes before she could be discovered. She waited, heart pounding as shuffling sounds went on around her joining in the chorus of beeps and muffled calls from the hallway.
”Yoo?”
A long stretch of silence followed. Tiffany peeked through her lids. Yoona stood beside the bed, head angled down at Yuri. Both of their faces were empty - grave.
“I remember what you said.” Yoona assured. Yuri’s gaze flickered down to her hand. Tiffany thought she was the only one to know what she meant but Yoona took it into hers and squeezed. “I’ll make sure she gets home tonight.”
Yuri gave a slow nod before Yoona helped her sink back down into her bed and tucked her in. Once she was settled, Yoona paced over to the chair Tiffany sat in. She feigned sleep letting Yoona shake her shoulders until her eyes opened again.
“Come on,” Yoona smiled, leaning down to her level. “I have plenty of coffee at my place.”
-/-/-/-
Yoona’s place felt of warmth. Tiffany didn’t know if she liked it as she sat on the edge of Yoona’s bed, holding a change of clothes Yoona had offered her. She could smell the lavender detergent and feel the linen softness on her fingertips.
Tiffany’s eyes examined the room as they had the rest of the apartment. Yoona was a minimalist. No photographs up, only obscure works of abstract art. She was tidy, everything in perfect place however it was all off balance. The dresser off center beneath the clock, her square mirror rotated slightly to the left, her shoes weren’t exactly aligned with the mat.
It made Tiffany uneasily comfortable.
“I sat out an extra toothbrush for you.” Informed Yoona, walking into the bedroom with a set of towels she was taking into ensuite. “It’s the pink one next to the blue.”
“Really, I can take the couch.”
Yoona reappeared at the bathroom door, leaning against the frame. “You’re banned from sleeping on anymore chairs.”
Tiffany smiled shyly, dropping her head. Light flickered off in the bathroom and the mattress sunk beside her. Yoona’s warmth was apparent against her side. Such a stark contrast to what Tiffany felt being at home. Alone. Empty covers to her right...
“I’m closer to the hospital,” started Yoona. “You can stay here as much as you want.”
“I should be there now.”
“Give yourself a break.”
“What if she needs me in the morning?”
“There are doctors. You’re always there for Yuri.” Tiffany opened her mouth to protest when Yoona cut her off. “But who is for you?”
It wasn’t much. Yoona never said much but something in Tiffany shifted at her words. She felt one of those dimmer switches she had turned off flick back on and her chest seized.
Glossy eyes blinked up to Yoona and Tiffany just stared. She clenched her teeth, swallowing the thick lump. She clutched onto the clothes in her hands. She tightened everything inside of herself to keep from letting that dam break.
“I can’t afford to think like that.” Tiffany muttered, voice cracking. Her restraints were faltering.
“But you do.” Yoona whispered, her cold breath touching Tiffany’s face as she spoke. “And that’s okay.”
Tiffany turned away but warm fingers caught her chin. Her resistance against the tiny tug was halfhearted. She let Yoona turn her to face her again and swallowed as slender fingers brushed hair from her eyes.
“Let it go, Tiffany.” Yoona
Tiffany’s jaw tightened to the point it hurt. She wouldn't. She couldn’t.
“Please?” Yoona hooked her fingers beneath her chin to keep Tiffany from looking down. When she spoke again, Yoona’s voice quivered the way Tiffany’s heart did. “It hurts. Please, let it go.”
Yoona’s fingers caressed her cheeks, clearing away one tear after another that had already begun to seep out. It reminded Tiffany of how Yoona hand handled Yuri. How patiently she fed her and how gently she wiped at her face. She touched Yuri like the warm wisps of life fading out of her and caressed Tiffany with the life she was losing.
And then she broke.
Slender arms curved around her, pulling her in. Tiffany buried her face into Yoona’s sweater letting the bristles soak up her tears.
She could hear herself sobbing. She could hear how cracked she was and she hated it. She hated it as much as she hated the world for playing such a detestable card on her. She hated it all. She hated everything.
“It’s okay.” Yoona said above her and Tiffany’s body shook.
It wasn’t okay, but it was. Finally, in Yoona’s arms, she understood it was okay to break. It was okay to not be okay and it was okay to cling onto something.
And she did, body swaying as Yoona rocked them booth, hand smoothing up and down her back.
She let the dams flow.
-/-/-/-
“If we get caught-”
“We’re not going to get caught.”
“If we do, I’m blaming you.”
“It was my idea!”
“I swear if you get me banned from the hospital because you-”
“Shut up, and open the door!”
“I’m trying!” Sunny hissed back.
Metal creaked as Sunny jammed her shoulder into the door and forced it open. Chilly air whooshed into the hall, nearly pushing them back as Tiffany hoisted Yuri higher up on her back and Sunny held her from behind to keep her from falling off.
They stepped out onto the roof surrounded by darkness. The sight was a near mirror to the one Tiffany had seen when Yuri had brought her to the rooftop years ago. Neighboring buildings glowed their candlelight colors in windows and airplanes twinkled above bringing thick, whooshing sounds.
“You got her?” Asked Sunny, stepping back. Tiffany leaned forward, holding tightly to the underside of Yuri to keep her on. “I’ll keep watch. Don’t take all night.”
Disappearing back through the door, Sunny closed it behind her leaving the two alone. Tiffany’s feet crunched across the gravel, air heaving out of her chest. The weight of Yuri on her back made her knees sag but she kept moving, carrying Yuri closer to the edge where she stopped.
The sound from below was louder there, rising up in a meshed clash of echoes. Tiffany closed her eyes, letting the wind beat against her face along with the steady pulse of Yuri’s heart drumming on her back.
“Do you remember the time you pretended to jump?” Tiffany’s eyes fluttered open. Her gaze drew down to the street below watching the cars zip through traffic. “I was so mad at you. I even made you sleep on the couch.” She felt a small vibration in Yuri’s chest and Tiffany smiled knowing it was the sign of a laugh. “You remember what happened that night? I took the blanket off the bed and came to sleep with you.”
Tiffany’s legs shook as she stepped back from the edge and sank to her knees. The weight on her back shifted and she hurried to catch Yuri before she could slip off and leaned her up against the ledge where she sat motionless and quiet.
Her fingers pressed into Yuri’s smooth skin as she pushed hair away from dark, focused eyes. It made Tiffany’s chest constrict seeing them. There was so much life in those eyes. Such a terrible contrast to what was no longer left in most of her.
Sliding along the ground, Tiffany made place beside her, leaning Yuri onto her side to keep her up. Reaching out, she took her hand into hers and curled her fingers into a pair that couldn't return the gesture.
“Before I went to join you, I laid in bed crying.” Her head dropped on top of Yuri’s that rested on her shoulder. “At first I couldn't tell why. I didn’t know if it was because I was angry that you had played such a terrible prank on me or if I was scared because I couldn't help remembering how it felt thinking you had done it. Then I realized,” Tiffany shivered, hand clenching tighter onto Yuri’s. “It was because I was relieved you were still here.”
Lifting her head, Tiffany turned as she used her free hand to lift Yuri’s head up and face her. The look in her eyes was glossy but it was thick. She had spent enough years looking into those eyes to know everything that they spoke and every time she did she was taken away more by it than any words.
“And you’ll still be here.” Tiffany whispered, cupping Yuri’s chilled face in her hand. Her thumb rubbed softly against her cheek, foreheads pressed together. “You’ve given me everything, Yuri. I couldn't have asked for anyone else - anyone better.”
Tilting her head, she pressed her lips to Yuri’s, holding them there in a kiss that was weakly returned.
“You always told me I was your salvation but I don’t think I ever told you how much you were for me.” She brushed her thumb along Yuri’s cheek, blinking to her weighted eyes. “Would you like to know a secret?” Yuri’s lashes blinked twice in reply. Tiffany smiled, leaning to her ear. “You are my everything. So, please, wait for me?”
When she leaned back Yuri blinked twice again, the second one causing a stray tear to slip along her cheek. Tiffany quickly kissed it away, leaning them down so they laid against the cold concrete. Curling in, Tiffany rested her head on Yuri’s chest, ear over her heart.
Closing her eyes, she listened to the steady beating everything else all forgotten.
-/-/-/-
They were disgusting little things. Chalky white, plastic, tubes protruding from Yuri’s gaunt looking skin like foreign masses. Tiffany regarded them in heartbreaking disgust as the doctor taped it Yuri’s stomach and covered it up with her gown.
She glanced up, seeing the pitiful look in Yuri’s eyes. She had been such a good sport, always giving an eye smile to the ghastly things done to her. She had entered into a state of acceptance for her fate, giving Tiffany the last bit of strength for her to see it as well. She no longer had a choice than to take Yuri’s hand and walk along the last leg of the race with her.
“There’s no telling how much longer from here.”
“What do you estimate?”
“A few weeks? Maybe days.”
No one had been around but a motionless Yuri to help buffer the news. They sat in silence, allowing the new information to settle over them like the first report. The one that had sent their lives onto a crash course of fear, pain, guilt, redemption, and a finish line much too soon.
“You can’t get out of eating hospital food now.” She joked. Yuri’s eyes flickered up in a sort of eyeroll.
Sitting down in a stool, Tiffany leaned her elbows on the edge of the bed. The hum of machines was oddly soothing. She watched in the quiet as Yuri’s lids began to droop. It was late. Tiffany knew she was tired. Yuri was always tired.
“Don’t fight it, baby.” Tiffany smoothed her knuckles along Yuri’s sunken cheeks. From the looks of her now, no one would ever think she had been a fighter, thick, and menacing. “I’ll be here.”
Her phone chimed.
Tiffany winced at Sunny’s name on the screen. “I’ll be right back.”
Out in the hall, she answered. “Hey.”
“I got your text,” Sunny sounded just as tired as Tiffany felt and as worn as Yuri looked. “Do you want me to come up?”
“No,” Tiffany leaned back against the wall. “I want to be alone with her for now.”
Sunny hummed in reply. “Call me if you need anything.”
“Anything?”
They both went quiet knowing the truth. Knowing that what they both wanted was their friend and lover to be well. Tiffany had seen it even on Sunny as time dwindled. Inevitability took its toll on her nearly as much as it had Tiffany.
“Get some sleep.” Was the last thing Sunny said before the line went dead.
Tiffany wondered, as she padded back into the room to find Yuri asleep, if she could take the silence of the end as well as she could the ending of a call.
One look at Yuri’s face she knew the answer like she knew from the beginning.
Somethings just never become easy to handle. This was no exception.
-/-/-/-
"Hello?"
Tiffany stepped into the apartment.
All lights were off.
"Yuri?"
She sucked in a breath as a flame sparked to life. Fire burned off the tip of a match, orange glow casting on Yuri's face in distorted flickering light. Pushing the door closed, Tiffany removed her hand from over her racing heart watching Yuri draw steadily closer to her.
"What're you doing?"
The stalk of a long candle entered the low light, wick catching flame before Yuri blew out the match and reached out for Tiffany.
"Baby?"
"Shhh," Yuri's fingers curled around her hand and pulled.
Tiffany walked slowly, eyes squinting in the darkness with only candlelight as their guide.
"Sit," Yuri instructed.
"Where?"
"Sit down." Hands pressed down on Tiffany's shoulders.
Reaching the floor, she felt around feeling the soft threads of a comforter and the smooth surface of glass.
"Yul, what's this?" Her fingers traced the rim, outlining the edges of a plate.
The rest of the spread around them came into focus as Yuri lit a set of candles on the floor. Her eyes were slow to adjust to the plates, and cups, and silverware before her.
"Close your eyes," Yuri instructed.
Tiffany used her hands to cover her eyes. She listened to shuffling followed by the squeak of Styrofoam. The aroma of generic, cooked noodles drowning in sauce hit her nose and she smiled at the clink of chopsticks on plates.
“Okay,” something poured into glasses with the hiss of a fizz. “Open.”
Blinking, Tiffany’s smile erupted. She could see the Styrofoam of the to-go cartons sticking from beneath the table behind Yuri and she laughed catching a glimpse of the label of plastic soda bottle she had kicked away into the corner.
Picking up one of the wine glasses, Tiffany brought it to her nose laughing at the tickling bubbles of grape soda that pricked at her senses.
“It’s not much…” Yuri crossed her legs across from her.
“It’s perfect, Yul,” she assured. “What’s the occasion?”
“Us.”
“Us?”
Yuri nodded, biting at her lip nervously and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for always being out late, for walking on the carpet in my shoes, and leaving my dirty dishes in the sink.”
Tiffany looked sheepishly over at Yuri and sighed. “And I’m sorry for putting work first, for leaving my wet towel on the bed, and eating the last of the jelly and leaving the empty jar in the fridge.” She frowned. “I promise to do better.”
“Me too.” Yuri picked up her soda filled glass and held it up above a candle. “To starting over?”
“To starting over.” Tiffany clinked her glass to Yuri’s and sipped.
“Mmm-here,” Tiffany quickly put her glass down and reached for the chopsticks.
Pinching up a wad of noodles, she guided it over to Tiffany’s mouth. Tiffany blew on it lightly before taking it into her mouth and chewing.
“Good?”
Nodding, Tiffany gathered some onto her own chopsticks to feed Yuri. A noodle slapped against her chin and Tiffany laughed, using her fingers to help get it into her Yuri’s mouth. She gasped when her fingers got stuck between her lips, mouth sucking the sauce off.
Tiffany blushed as Yuri released them and licked her lips with a grin. The flames flickered off her eyes in an alluring flash of colors. Tiffany found herself watching the light beat off the lines of her face. It made her look warm to the touch, ignited with something dangerous behind those dark eyes shrouded in falling strands of black hair.
Tiffany moved slowly, hands cupping Yuri’s face and held on to guide the rest of her body over. She crawled passed plates and glasses and candles, taking Yuri’s sweet and sour lips.
“Tiff?”
“Thank you,” she muttered into her mouth, tongue sneaking passed teeth to taste everything off Yuri’s tongue.
She pushed her back with purpose, feeling safe in Yuri’s arms that wrapped around her waist. She couldn’t remember the last time she had kissed Yuri this way – with every bit of her heart and admiration.
Something inside of her was reaching out, clawing at the girl that had turned everything for her upside down. And she wanted to feel everything, every inch of what she had found.
Her hands were greedy, pulling off Yuri’s shirt and quickly stripped away her own. The buckle of a belt pressed into her stomach, sending chills down her nerves that sparked to their peak as Yuri rolled them over and her shoulders landed off the blanket and onto the cold floor.
“Close your eyes,” Yuri whispered at her ear.
Tiffany did as she was told, hands holding onto Yuri’s shoulder as a hand pushed away the restraint of pants down her legs.
She didn’t open her eyes again for the rest of the night.
-/-/-/-
“That was one of my favorite nights together.” Tiffany smiled.
She sat on a stool beside the bed, head draped on Yuri’s stomach and eyes closed as she clutched her hand. The constant chime of machines had grown into a familiar, ambient noise in the background nearly soothing her to sleep.
“Do you remember that, Yul?” She asked into the dark silence, eyes opening to see Yuri’s head lolled to one side, eyes shut and mouth slightly parted. “Yuri?”
Tiffany sat up, moving to cup her face. Heavy lids opened at the touch to the smallest of slivers. With a slow blink, Yuri gave her answer and Tiffany smiled. Of course she remembered.
“Sleep now. I’ll be right here.” Tiffany muttered, smoothing a hand over her hair. Eyes closing, Yuri’s lips twitched just barely. Tiffany leaned down, pressing hers to them.
She could hear every slow, labored breath as she held her lips there, eyes closed, and warm tears slipping along her cheeks. She heard the shift in machines, the steady beeping become erratic and warning. She could hear the sound of her own heart beating hard to the weak one slowly giving out.
“I love you,” she whispered against Yuri’s lips. “I love you so much.”
She pressed their lips together again, holding on until the last machine played its final, single, note.
And then she let go.
-
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no subject
Date: 2013-11-16 06:28 am (UTC)TOP SPOT.Boxxy. Omg I just finished reading 'Blue Veins' and now this?! ALL MY ANGST DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE. ♥
“You are my everything. So, please, wait for me?”--Can you hear my heart breaking from here?
This has to be one of my favorite fics of all time. You, sir, keep me on the edge of my seat and I get sadder and sadder as my scroll bar descends. :( I ALWAYS WANT MORE.
Really, though. That closing sentence. Damn.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-18 02:14 am (UTC)I'm glad you've been enjoying. You'll get more...because this is not the end.
^_
no subject
Date: 2013-11-18 02:18 am (UTC)IF YOU DIDN'T WRITE MAGICAL FIC, I'D CALL YOU A CAD. You...you CAD.
Ha! I did it. Don't cry too hard.
but yeah. Blue veins was highly enjoyable.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-16 07:05 am (UTC)My god, your writing leaves me on edge and breathless.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-16 10:08 am (UTC)Literally weeping...shit.
it's aesthetically heartbreaking. I've said to myself 'the last thing i would read is a dying-snsd fanfic' but after reading the first part,i said it would be a great story,indeed it is(up to the last words)
i can't imagine what it feels like to watch that someone being slowly taken away from you.you want to take their pain away,but all you can do is hope and pray that a miracle would somehow see you through..
This one's daebak!
this made me appreciate YulTi pairing even more...
no subject
Date: 2013-11-18 02:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-21 02:09 pm (UTC)i wanna know what happened to Tiffany and to Yuri's scumbag parents :3
i don't really like fanfics bc they make me wait,but this one's worth the days i wait :D
no subject
Date: 2013-11-16 11:52 am (UTC)Edit:
Oh my god. I can't. I just can't hold all these feels D: I had tears welling up throughout this. That ending though, the tears building up suddenly fell and now im a sobbing mess. This is certainly a first. I'm not your crying type.
Christ, this story is easily in my top 3. I don't think my heart can take any more. Welp.
Damn you for making me cry D:
Seriously though, job well done *claps while sobbing*
no subject
Date: 2013-11-16 03:58 pm (UTC)The idea of Tiffany buying coffin did not sink in yet but why.
I know this isn't fairly tail but I'm still wishing for a miracle.
As hard and fragile that hope may be.
YURI'S PARENTS IS A SCUMBAG. FK.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-26 04:14 pm (UTC)This is just heartbreaking and sad and all those emotions that come with it.
I wonder what Yuri told Yoona.
You had done well as usual boxy. Now please send me a towel so
I can clean my tears.
no subject
Date: 2015-07-06 11:50 pm (UTC)Thought you'd like to know~