Fic: Collide (Part III)
Nov. 3rd, 2013 11:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
boxxsaltzTitle: Collide
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Tiffany/Yuri
Summary: Somewhere between beginnings and ends
AN: Beta credit to bobalub
Part III
Boxes, boxes, boxes.
Tiffany let out a heavy breath as she dropped the box in her arms to the floor. Her eyes looked around at the empty space crowded in cardboard boxes and fragments of furniture. She didn’t think relocating from the third floor to the first would’ve been so much work but she was already tired.
“Love what you’ve done with the place.”
Tiffany whipped around, mouth dropping open at the woman standing in the doorway. She lifted a pair of sunglasses from her eyes and winked, arms held out.
“Well, don’t just stand there. Show me some love.”
Tiffany skipped and bounced over boxes, foot nearly snagging in the process to make her way over and fall into Sunny’s waiting arms.
“I can’t believe it’s you.”
“Who else would it be?” She squeezed her tight and pulled back, hands holding Tiffany away from her at the waist. “Lemme look at you. I see wrinkles.”
Tiffany batted at the hand that started pinching at her cheek. “What’re you doing here?”
She stepped away, getting a good look at her old friend. She was still little as ever - small, compact, tiny ball of fun. Only difference she ditched the bright blonde that used to be on top of her head and traded it in for long, dark brunette hair. Tiffany would’ve thought it would make her look older. But Sunny still had that childish smile and rounded cheeks like she was fresh in her prime.
“I thought I’d come by and help. Make sure you didn’t throw out your back.” She stopped moving around the living room to peer over at Tiffany. In that one look, all was said. Sunny knew something was going on. “Where’s the sucker at anyway?”
“In bed.”
“Lazy ass.” Sunny pushed up the sleeves of her shirt. “So, where do we start?”
-/-/-/-
Beginnings were always fun. The newness, the flash, the flare. The grandeur and the pride of the shiny new thing on your arm.
The messages had flooded Tiffany's phone. Yuri was the worst distraction. Tiffany was forgetting grammar rules, reverting back to the structure of English when she should've been editing for Korean. Yuri was making her mind fuzzy.
"Your phone is surgically attached to your hand." Sunny would tease.
Yuri being between match seasons was to blame. She had too much free time on her hands and,
"Not enough time with you in my hands."
Tiffany blushed at that. Sunny fiend a gag as she drove them to her apartment.
Sometimes Tiffany would think they were too old for the slumber party thing. They were mid-twenty something women laughing about a guy playing on the stage with his fly down the entire time as he sang at some open mic Sunny had found around town during their wanderings.
But it felt so natural the way they flowed. Yuri’s hand was comfortable in hers and Sunny’s slaps on her shoulder were reassurance. They stumbled into Sunny’s apartment often - she liked it when the space felt full and alive.
“Take the couch.” Sunny would say.
Tiffany always felt like a massive kid when they had those nights. She felt like she was back in high school, sneaking kisses with that one academic girl in the wings of the auditorium, body shaking like a leaf but was nothing compared to the jackhammer shudders of the girl’s shoulders.
It took her back to high, loud, and fast fucks of nameless faces and nail polished painted fingers stroking her skin. Nights she’d keep secret from everyone - even herself - as she took off the mask of textbooks and the orderly and put on the one of wild, experimenting, and trying to find self.
“Sunny’s going to hear!”
“Not if you’re quiet.” Yuri’s strength was always at Tiffany’s disadvantage. But she was okay with that.
Yuri’s forceful pushes, the roughness in the way she pulled at her hair, the eager impatience in fingers that shed layers of fabric. The things that they’d get into in Sunny’s living room on the couch, on the floor, over the coffee table were dangerous acts all executed in the name of the game of how many times could they get away with it before they were caught.
Yuri was shameless and Tiffany found herself molding into that herself.
“I hate both of you.” Sunny said in the mornings over breakfast.
They ate on the floor in heaps of blankets with plates on the carpet and basking in the afterglow - for Tiffany and Yuri of each other while Sunny was perky from getting a crazy night out and a late morning in.
“You can have the couch when you two move in together.”
They giggled like little kids, blushing and flushing and laughing as they tackled Sunny and loved on her like the best friend she was.
“Get your lesbilove off me!”
“Sunny Oppa! Love us!
“Go to hell!”
-/-/-/-
They made a place on the floor sitting on opposite sides of some boxes pushed together. Tiffany had dug through one for a cloth and laid it over them for Sunny to dish out helpings of the rice cakes she had brought onto smudged plates Tiffany hunted down.
Tiffany stabbed into one and placed it into her mouth. The taste came over her like the past. Cooking lessons with Sunny, breakfasts on Sunny’s coffee table, wild talks and old stories about Sunny and Yuri’s childhood growing up and how weird it was that Tiffany found a way to fit herself into the picture and brought the other two back together.
The apartment was too quiet. It allowed Tiffany’s mind to wander too much. In the midst of all that was happening, she told herself she wouldn't dwell. That dwelling would make her miserable. But with Sunny sitting across from her and the familiar spices flooding her tongue she couldn't help it.
“Not even food’ll wake the beast?” Sunny asked, breaking the quiet. They should’ve switched on a radio but that was stored at the bottom of a box somewhere too.
“She helped a lot yesterday. I don’t think she has the strength for more right now. Did she call you?”
“What? Best friends can’t materialize out of thin air in times of need?” Sunny joked, laughing. She sobered quickly, fork playing with the sauce on her plate. “Yeah, she called. I knew something was up.”
“Did she tell you everything?”
Sunny nodded. “I don’t know who I should be angrier at for not telling me sooner. You or her?”
“We’ve both been in our own worlds lately. And Yuri’s parents…”
Tiffany trailed off. What sort of family disowned you to the point they wouldn't visit their daughter in the midst of an illness? Tiffany tried her best to convince them to visit, but she was working against the stubborn Mrs. Kwon and a Yuri who told them that if they couldn't handle the fact she was going to stay with Tiffany throughout the remainder of years they could go fuck themselves.
She and Yuri had a long argument about that conversation. Yuri’s verdict by the end of the night was that she had no family.
“You know I’m the only mom she’s ever had.” Said Sunny. “If she gets as much as a booboo you call me.”
“Yes, omma,” Tiffany muttered, smirking. Sunny had been like a mother to Yuri even if she wouldn't admit it.
“I booked a hotel room for a couple days to be close if you need anything.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I did it for myself,” Sunny waved her off with a hand. That hand was the symbol that no argument would be tolerate. “How is she anyway?”
Tiffany’s head teetered back and forth, mind searching for the right choice of words. Were there any? “She’s good.” She offered. The look on Sunny’s face said it wouldn't suffice. She took a breath. This was Sunny, she could let go in front of her. “She stays in bed most of the day. When Siwon told her she couldn’t compete anymore, I thought she’d lose it but she didn't do anything - she didn't say anything.”
“That’s the opposite of good.” Sunny pointed out. “That’s not like her.”
“You think I don’t know that? I can’t get her to leave the apartment.”
“She needs time.”
“We don’t have time.”
Sighing, Sunny shook her head. “Enough about this, it’s making me nauseous.”
“Sorry,” Tiffany propped her chin on fist. “I don’t have anyone else to really talk to about this.”
“Not saying my expert listening and advice skills as a radio talk show DJ aren’t substantial to most, but there are professionals. They did wonders for Bora.”
Tiffany smirked. Everyone knew Bora had a couple screws loose and an entire plate missing. She wondered what happened to the girl. Genius but totally bogus.
“But doesn’t that sound petty?”
“What about any of this is petty?”
“You’re right,” Sunny usually was. Except for when she wasn’t but Tiffany liked to think of those times as growing opportunities and self strengthening occurrences. “I’ll think about.”
“Good. Think.” Sunny shoveled one last ricecake into her mouth before dropping her fork down onto her plate and sat back on her hands. “Now, let me tell you about my life because I know you’re just dying to know all about it.”
-/-/-/-
Tiffany waited in the lobby, styrofoam cup of stale coffee in her fingers. Across the way she smiled at the receptionist who glanced her way. Looking at the clock, Tiffany sipped. She hadn’t done fieldwork in a long time. Her comfort zone was inside an office now not clutching a pen, pad, and voice recorder.
Sunye still out, Tiffany took the role of escorting Yoona to her first few interviews. The previous ones had been entertaining. Tiffany was able to sit in on those, watch the trainee fumble a bit and give necessary notes afterwards. This time, she let Yoona go in on her own. Tiffany wished she would’ve brought a book.
“Was that too long?”
Tiffany perked up at hearing Yoona’s voice. The girl came clicking into the lobby in heels and a pencil skirt that hugged her hips. She clutched her notebook close to her chest, eyes apologetic like a tardy kid on the first day of school.
Tiffany checked the time again. She may have run about fifteen minutes later than Tiffany would, but no interview could be set a definite time limit. Especially successful ones.
“Right on time,” Tiffany picked up her purse and stood. “How’d it go?”
Yoona made a face as she followed Tiffany out the doors. “There were times I felt like I was being interviewed.”
“Did he ask you anything personal?”
“I didn’t answer them.”
“Don’t give them the upper hand.” Tiffany instructed and Yoona nodded once they reached the car and slid in.
Tiffany always hated that. She would be there on business and the client would want to ask her things about her life, her job, her schooling, and top it all off by passing over a business card with an emphasis on call me under the guise of wanting to further discuss the topic at hand.
Tiffany smirked. How many of those business cards had Yuri ripped up when Tiffany brought them home? She always wondered what would’ve happened if she told them the truth,
“Actually, I am seeing someone. Her name is Yuri. Last week she won the Itaewon Womens Boxing Competition after getting a knock out with a high kick. She’s the cutest.”
Tiffany’s grin spread wider. Next time, she would definitely say something like that.
“You must be thinking about Yuri” Yoona’s voice brought her back to the stuffy car and the buzz of traffic outside. “You only smile like that when you think of her.”
“She’s the cutest.”
“Anyone would have to be if they’re with you.” Tiffany shared her grin with Yoona who reached over to flip on the radio. “Are you all moved in?”
Tiffany scrunched her nose, slowing them at a stoplight. “We’re trying.”
“Maybe I could come over and help?”
“Thank you but-” Tiffany turned to see Yoona’s bottom lip stuck out. Sometimes she did act like a kid. But not the loud, sticky hands kind. Tiffany laughed. “Why not? You can stay for dinner.”
“Speaking of dinner, do you want stop for lunch before we get back to the office?”
“Yes! I’m starving. Anything you have in mind?” Yoona shook her head, fingers tapping on her stocking covered knee to the music playing.
Hitting on her blinker, Tiffany switched lanes to head them down a strip she knew was full of restaurants. One look at the weather, maybe they’d be lucky enough to sit outside. Being out of the office made her feel lighter and being with Yoona with her cheesy smiles made things feel like they hadn’t turned upside down. It was nice to smile through a day and not bite on her nails as the hours ticked on.
Looking over, Tiffany caught Yoona’s eyes and smiled.
Yup, she thought as Yoona grinned, tucking a fallen piece of hair behind her ear, smiling through a day was so much better.
-/-/-/-
Dinner was Yoona’s treat. Some sizzling, juicy, doused in sauce chinese from a local joint that she and a couple of her friends used to frequent out of university. It was cheap but,
“I promise it’s good.” Yoona sat the bag of take out on the counter while Tiffany went to grab plates. She hated eating out of cardboard.
“It smells good.” It did. Tiffany kept her head tilted toward the aroma. Her mouth watered for the spicy tang that kept wafting into her nose.
“Here, I’ll do it.” Yoona took the plates out of Tiffany’s hands to set the table. It was a good thing she had taken off all the boxes and junk that had been piled on top of it. She hadn’t wanted to feed Yoona on their makeshift table.
“I’ll go get Yuri.”
“I’m here,” Tiffany turned to see Yuri in the doorway. Sleep still gripped her eyes as she combed a hand through her thick hair taming it from its bed head and looked to Yoona who stood by the table. “Hi.”
“Yul, I told you about Yoona.”
“Your babysitter,” she teased, eyeing Yoona as she bowed.
“It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Yeah, you too.” Yuri nodded. She moved slowly across the kitchen, grabbing onto the back of a chair to help her. “Where’re my meds?”
“Cabinet. I’ll get you a cup so you’ll have something to drink.” She hurried to the cabinet pulling out a glass while Yuri yanked open the fridge and took out a jug of water. She held the fridge open with her hip, fingers fumbling with the jug cap, trying to pull it off.
“Here, let me-”
“I can do it.” Yuri pulled back. Nail catching beneath the plastic, she popped off the top and took the glass away from Tiffany to pour.
“Would you like something to drink, Yoona?” Asked Tiffany, twisting off the pill bottle top.
Yoona pushed on a smile passed the empty look she had been watching them with. “Water is fine.”
“I put your pills on the counter, babe.” Tiffany turned her back.
She just got the cabinet door open when she heard the crash. A combination of glass and plastic smacking the tiled floor. She turned around just in time to see the shards go splattering across the floor and water splash along the lower cabinets.
A second of silence ticked by. Tiffany looked up at Yuri who was staring at the mess she had made. Her arms were limp at her sides, hanging like dead weight. When her eyes blinked up to meet Tiffany’s, the chaos started.
“Sorry,”
“It’s okay.”
“It slipped.”
“I know.”
“I can help,”
“It’s okay, Yoona.”
“I don’t mind.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Yul.” Tiffany dropped a dish rag into the puddle. It was instantly soaked. “Let me grab a towel.”
“I’ll get it,” Yoona moved from around the table. “Box labeled towels, right?”
Tiffany nodded as she crouched onto the floor. “We should sweep up the glass.” Her fingers picked at the larger pieces, tucking them into her palm. “I don’t remember where we put the broom.”
“I’m sorry.” Yuri muttered above her.
“It was an accident.”
“It slipped.”
“I know, baby,” Tiffany craned her neck up. Yuri’s focus was on her wet hand full of tiny pieces of glass. The look in her eyes was too empty and drawn. She was fighting to keep what she was really feeling in the background, away from Tiffany, away from Yoona, and away from herself.
Standing up, Tiffany pushed back her hair from her face. Her feet felt cold and sticky from the grime on the floor mixing with the water seeping between her toes. “Go ahead and eat, we’ll take care of it.”
“I’m not hungry.”
Tiffany sighed. “I’ll save yours for later. Take your medicine and go back to sleep.”
Yuri nodded slowly and drew away from the scene. Her steps were weighted and cautious as she maneuvered through the minefield of glass. At the door, her stride hitched just as Yoona was rounding the corner.
“Whoa,” Yoona caught her on the stumble. “You got it?”
Yuri pushed out of her hold and disappeared out of sight.
Taking the towels, Tiffany got down on all fours and started to clean. They worked in silence to the hum of the refrigerator and the clinking of glass dropping into the waste bin.
She dismissed Yoona after all the water had been soaked up and the glass dumped in the trash. She left with a thank you and assurance that it was okay.
Tiffany closed the door and went back into the kitchen where she fell into one of the dining chairs.
The food remained, gone cold and untouched.
-/-/-/-
“I want to show you something.”
Tiffany’s head tilted, tongue falling out to lick at the syrup that was sliding down the side of her hand. Sunny had put them out like the horny dogs they were but Tiffany didn’t let it wreck their routine.
Late night out leading to a late morning in. Blankets and pillows stripped off Yuri’s bed were strewn along the floor of the loft left in heaps from where they had slept. A plate of half eaten pancakes Tiffany had gotten up early to make sat between them, bottle of syrup getting sticky on the sheets.
Tiffany looked up over the large pillow she leaned over on her stomach, legs swinging in the air behind her. Before her was Yuri, tongue catching a string of syrup that dripped off a chunk of pancakes she held over her mouth.
“Like what?”
Yuri finished chewing before she answered. A line of syrup had fallen just below her collarbone. Tiffany couldn't resist the urge to clean it off and got up, licking at the sweetness. Yuri couldn't just take that and held her chin in place, kissing Tiffany with warm sugar coated lips.
“My secret lair,” Yuri spoke once she let Tiffany go.
She sank back into her comforter, pulling it up around naked shoulders. Naked mornings surrounded by the smells of breakfast and thick blankets with her girl was how she wanted to spend the rest of her life.
“Where is this secret layer?”
“It’s…” Yuri cut off another chunk of pancakes and offered it to Tiffany. She took it with a smile and chewed. “A secret.”
Tiffany rolled her eyes. “Aren’t you a little old to have a secret lair?”
“Aren’t you a little old to be fed by someone else?”
“It’s not my fault you baby me.”
“Would wittle Tiff-Tiff like her bwottle?”
Tiffany stuck out her tongue. “Could a baby do what I did to you last night?”
“We learn how to suck before we can bite.”
Tiffany’s mouth dropped as Yuri laughed. Her head fell back, messy hair waving as the laughter rolled through her. Tiffany couldn’t help her own laugh from bubbling up. She knew all of Yuri’s laughs. From the tiny, fake guffaws to the eye watering hysterics. She loved every one of them and their infectiousness. Tiffany wished she could take one in her hands and drink it down.
“Wha!” Yuri squealed as Tiffany tackled her into the blankets.
She lapped at the still sticky spot on Yuri’s chest, hands coming up to thread in tangled hair followed by lips that sucked the last of Yuri’s laughter from her mouth and into her own lungs.
“I have my own secret lair to show you.” She breathed, legs falling onto either side of Yuri beneath her.
“But I’ve already been there.” Yuri purred.
Tiffany grinned against her jaw, taking Yuri’s wrist into her hand and leading it down. “Then you know exactly where to go.”
Wherever and whatever Yuri had wanted to show her was forgotten.
Oh well. They could get to that later. It was just felt so wrong to break morning routines.
-/-/-/-
Tiffany sighed as she rinsed her face and grabbed a towel to dry it off. Eyes up at the mirror, she saw Yuri come walking groggily into the bathroom with a set of clothes in hand. Dropping them onto the sink counter, she sank down to sit on the toilet cover.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” Tiffany smiled, squeezing a glob of toothpaste onto the bristles of her toothbrush.
Yuri kept quiet, hands pulling up the base of her shirt and threw it to the floor. “You were home late.”
“I had a few things to finish at the office.”
“Like?” Asked Yuri after she switched on the tub, letting the water get warm.
“Yoona wanted me to listen to one of her interview recordings. I wanted to finish and write down notes in one sitting.”
“Who is she anyway?”
“Yoona? You met her,” scooping water into her mouth, Tiffany gargled and spat it out. Grabbing a towel, she dried off her face. “Friend from work.”
“Just a friend?”
Tiffany spun the sink knob and stopped. Her eyes met Yuri’s that stared up at her through thick lashes and surrounded by dark circles and sharp cheeks. There was no joke in her expression and no tease in her tone.
“What are you getting at?”
“What are you two getting at?”
Tiffany pursed her lips. Anger welled up in her chest and pricked at the corner of her eyes. She blinked back threatening tears. “It isn’t like that.”
“It’s not?” Yuri’s eyebrow cock accusatory. Tiffany couldn’t handle that.
She turned to go. “I’m not going to listen to this right now.”
“Why?” Yuri called at her back. “Because I’m right?”
“No,” Tiffany stood at the doorway. She looked back at her over her shoulder. “Because I can’t believe you’d think I would ever do something like that to you.”
“It would be the best time to do it.” Yuri took a stab. Tiffany felt it at the base of her gut and twist. “I won’t be around to get hurt. No reason to feel sorry.”
“She’s a friend, Yul. She’s done nothing but help us.”
“Who asked her to help?”
“Who asked for you to get sick?” The words left her mouth before she could think them through. And the rest came easily like acid off her tongue and darts into Yuri. “Who’s working twice as hard to make sure you’re okay? Who’s telling me it’s going to be okay? That’s it’s okay to cry and it’s okay to feel like you’ve screwed up and that I don’t have to shoulder all of this alone? If it’s not you then who am I supposed to go to, Yuri? Who?”
Silence stretched between them. Water continued to run in the background like a deafening waterfall. Tiffany wished it were. She wished she could jump off of it and drown herself for everything she had just said.
Yuri’s eyes remained hard and focused on her, fist curled on her knees and mouth slightly parted in a state of shock.
“I’m sorry.” She murmured on a shuddering break.
Without another word, she left the bathroom, left the apartment, and drove until she was somewhere not even the city behind her could hear her cries.
-/-/-/-
The wheels of the shopping cart creaked endlessly as Tiffany pushed it through the store. In front of her Sunny moved from one shelf to the other, picking things off and placing them inside.
“And then he said, ‘Lee Soonkyu I’m going to marry you one day’. Who says shit like that anymore?” A case of strawberries dropped into the cart as Sunny’s laugh faded off and she turned to look at Tiffany. “Earth to Fany, come in Fany.”
“Sorry,” she leaned back just before Sunny could tap a case of yogurt against her head. She blinked back her thoughts that had been a repeating tape on what she had said to Yuri the night before. “Are those strawberries any good? They looked bruised.”
“And you look sour,” Sunny took the case of fruit out of Tiffany’s hand and dropped it down. “So are you going to tell me why you were at my hotel at three in the morning last night or are we going to keep pretending it was an impromptu sleepover and you missed me?”
Tiffany cringed despite the cushion of sarcasm Sunny put around the question. Leave it to her to ask the hard questions in a way that didn’t exactly make Tiffany want to tuck her tail and run but gave her enough push to draw the truth out of her.
“She asked me about Yoona last night. The one I told you about from work?” Tiffany waited for Sunny’s nod before continuing. “She accused me of cheating.”
Sunny’s mouth tugged into a frown. “Don’t take it personally.”
“How am I not supposed to take it personally?” Tiffany snapped and Sunny turned away, leading them out of earshot from other customers. “Maybe she’s right.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“Don’t do this again.” Sunny groaned.
“Do what?”
“Where you confuse yourself then confuse me and confuse everyone.” Sunny flicked her in the back of the head with a finger. “You’re both under a lot, stupid things get said, stupid feelings happen, and stupid people always make you think you’re being stupid but you’re not stupid.”
“How many times did you just say stupid?”
“Not the point, Fany.” Sunny knocked her knuckles against her forehead. Tiffany glared. “Yuri loves you and you love Yuri. You’re both scared. That’s it. You’re just scared. Hell, I’m even scared.”
“Sunny, I’m terrified.”
“So be terrified together.”
“But when I’m with Yoona…” She growled. “Maybe there is something.”
“Okay, stop.” Sunny moved around the cart to stand in front Tiffany. Taking her shoulders into her hands, Sunny squeezed, eyes trained on hers. “Do we have something?”
“No!” Tiffany made a face. Thinking about being with Sunny was like thinking about being with her own sister.
“Am I your friend?”
“Yes.”
“Do you feel better when I’m around and we get to talk?”
“Questionable, but yes.”
Letting go of her shoulders, Sunny moved to a shelf and plucked off a can of vegetables. “If you haven’t caught onto where I’m getting I question your intellect.”
“I get it.” Tiffany laughed, rounding them out of an aisle and headed toward the registers. “But it doesn’t take back what I said to her.”
“You know, a wise woman once told me that saying sorry is the fundamental step to gaining forgiveness and righting wrongs we have committed.”
“Who said that?”
“You did.”
Tiffany dropped her head. “I hate it when you’re right.”
“That’s why they keep me around.” Sunny patted her on the shoulder, teasingly. “Now here, buy me chocolate. You owe me.”
-/-/-/-
Tiffany balanced grocery bags in her arms and kicked the door closed behind her.
A silent apartment greeted her. What windows used to be open so sunlight could pour in were covered by dusty curtains. There was a stuffiness to the rooms, something worn down and dry to the touch.
“Yuri?” She called out as she placed the bags on the kitchen counter.
No reply.
“Yuri?” She flicked on the light of their bedroom to an empty bed of unmade sheets.
Padding to the bathroom, Tiffany began to panic as she threw back the dark shower curtain to an empty, stark white, bathtub.
“Yuri!”
She moved quickly, running back through the apartment and clawed at the sliding door to the balcony.
Yuri was nowhere in sight.
Doubling back, Tiffany looked at the empty space beside her own shoes. She hadn’t noticed Yuri’s weren't there on the way in but she had seen Yuri’s keys still there when she hung her own up.
Digging her phone from her purse, Tiffany hit speed dial for Yuri.
Ring -
Hey, it’s Yuri. You know what to do.
Her phone was off.
Scrolling through her contacts, she punched her thumb on the next number that sprang to mind.
“Hey, forget something?”
“Yuri’s gone.”
Sunny was quiet a moment. The words felt false even on her own tongue.
“I’m on my way.”
-/-/-/-
“She wasn’t at the cafe.”
Even in her exhausted state, Tiffany couldn't unwind enough to slump back against her seat. “Thank you, Yoona.”
“No problem. You said she might be at The Cup?”
“Maybe.”
“I’ll check there.” The call ended.
Tiffany lowered her phone into her lap, hands clutching it tightly as Sunny pulled them from the parking lot of the gym. “I could’ve sworn she would be here.”
“Siwon said she hasn’t called him?”
“No. And I don’t know who else she’d call but us, Siwon or -” Horror struck her. “There isn’t an or, Sunny, what’re we going to do?”
“She couldn't have gone far.”
“This is all my fault.”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Sunny reached over, grabbing onto her thigh. “We all need our space now and then. Maybe she doesn’t want to be found.”
“Because of me.”
“She’ll come back. Like a puppy.” Sunny tried.
Tiffany glared. She appreciated the effort but nothing felt it could appease her now.
Tiffany’s phone rang. She almost leapt for joy at the first letter until she read the rest of the name. Her relief evaporated almost as quickly as the false one had come.
“Not there either,” said Yoona.
“I didn’t think so. Thanks for trying.”
“Let me know if she turns up.”
“Any luck?” Asked Sunny.
“No.” Tiffany dropped her phone into her lap, body leaning against the door. She held her forehead in her fingers, massaging at it. “I messed up, Sunny. I really messed up.”
-/-/-/-
“Can I open them now?”
“No.”
“Now?”
“No, Tiff.”
“How about now?”
“For the love of God-”
“Kidding!” Tiffany sang, giggling at Yuri’s frustration. She palmed at Yuri’s arm that held onto her to lead her to Yuri’s face. Leaning in, she brushed a kiss to Yuri’s cheek. “I trust you. Lead me away!”
Yuri grumbled something under her breath as she started moving again, one hand on Tiffany’s arm while the other guided her by the waist. She didn’t know just how hard it was for Tiffany to keep her eyes closed without a blindfold. If it were anyone else, she would've already peeked.
“Why’re you excited anyway?”
“It’s your secret lair why shouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t want you getting any ideas of underground basements and secret stashes or anything.”
Tiffany perked up. “You have a secret stash?”
“Be quiet and keep walking.”
Tiffany fell silent, clutching onto Yuri as she was led up another flight of stairs. At first she might of had a feeling as to where Yuri was taking her, but there had been so many twists, turns, corners, ups, and downs that her already poor sense of direction had been thrown for a loop.
“Are we almost there?”
“Shh!”
Biting on her lip, Tiffany scolded herself into no more talking and allowed herself to be led along a flat surface, stairs left behind. The further down they went, the colder Tiffany felt. She shivered as a cold breeze hit her face followed by a heavy gust of wind that came after the screech and creaking of metal.
“Yuri?” Her brow furrowed, willing herself not to open her eyes.
“Almost there,” Yuri whispered close by her ear.
Tiffany trusted her enough to take her across ground that felt like concrete beneath her soles. She strained her ears to hear anything past the whoosh of wind and the shivering breaths in her own lungs. Just faintly she could pick up the sound of cars and the hum of a plane.
“Yul, where are we?”
“See for yourself.”
Tiffany squinted her eyes in the cold wind that pricked harshly at them. Blinking past the sting, she could see the spread of a roof surrounding them. Faint lights from neighboring buildings glowed around them in bright sparks of yellows, oranges, and whites.
Turning her head, she spotted Yuri grinning at her. “This is your secret lair?”
Her smile dulled slightly. “I told you not to expect anything.”
“I don’t get it. How is this a secret?”
“This is where I come to think.”
“You think?”
Yuri narrowed her eyes and stepped away to walk along the rooftop. “When my parents kicked me out, when I met you, when I need to make an important decision, I come up here.”
“So,” Tiffany started, walking up to stand beside her near the edge. Below she could see the headlights of cars zipping through the streets like ants. “The real secret is that you don’t want anyone to know that sometimes you’re really emo and like to sit on rooftops to write depressing poetry?”
“I don’t write poetry!” Yuri pouted, hands burying deep in her pockets. Tiffany snickered watching Yuri roll her eyes. “If I told you a secret would that make up for it?”
“Maybe,” Tiffany folded her arms over her chest, expression smug. “Depends on the secret.”
Something about Yuri’s face changed. Something about the way her jaw flexed and her posture went rigid. Tiffany felt her own pulse quicken when Yuri leaned down to cup her hands around her ear. Tiffany leaned into the warmth of her breath tickling against the side of her face.
She could hear everything from the lick of her lips to Yuri’s smile as she whispered. “I love you.”
Tiffany was too stunned - cheeks blazing pink, and stomach fluttering violently - to follow Yuri who bolted for the door leaving her in the cold alone.
It took ten minutes before Tiffany followed after and five minutes of knocking on Yuri’s loft door before she got a flushed, embarrassed face in the sliver of the door that she took into her freezing hands and kissed her deep.
“I love you, too.”
-/-/-/-
It was a long shot but Tiffany took the chance.
She clattered up the stairs with Sunny in tow, heart chanting that she was on the right path and mind racing of the possibilities she could find at the end of it.
“I hope you’re right.”
“I know I am.” Tiffany grunted as they reached the rooftop door and pushed it open.
Stepping out into the sunset, her eyes shifted one way to the next and all the way around again before they stopped on the tiny, balled up speck.
There she was.
Tiffany stalked across the apartment rooftop with hesitant steps. The force of the relief that struck her when Yuri’s eyes opened from where she sat on the ground tucked in the corner of the ledge nearly brought her to tears.
Reaching her, she sank down so she was level with Yuri’s empty face. Tiffany could just barely make out the quiver in her jaw as she shivered in the cold of the wind that pierced through her sweater. Her fingers pressed against Yuri’s cheek as she cupped it. She was freezing to the touch, skin dry and brittle looking.
“Yuri?”
“You found me.” She croaked, voice rough and chapped lips cracking as she spoke.
Wordlessly, Tiffany pulled Yuri into her. Her face fell against her chest heavily, burying into the heat of her body. Tiffany stroked at her greasy, tangled hair, crushing Yuri so tightly against her they could mold into one.
“I’m so tired, Tiffany.”
Pulling back, Tiffany held Yuri’s face in her palms. A thousand questions ran through her head and a million apologies sprang to her tongue. She swallowed all of them down. None of it mattered in that moment. Only the shuddering, freezing, limp body in front of her that had been found mattered.
Tiffany picked a strand of hair off Yuri’s face. “Let’s go home.”
Waving Sunny over, they lifted Yuri up, arms slung over both of their shoulders and holding her tightly around the waist.
No one said a words as they carried her back downstairs.
-/-/-/-
After dismissing Sunny home, Tiffany left Yuri in the bathroom to boil some tea. It was the only thing she knew could warm her up faster than a scalding bath and help put her to a restful sleep.
The run of the tub faucet in the distance took the air with the whistle of the tea kettle. Picking it off the stove, Tiffany poured some into a mug and eased in a teabag. The soothing smells of chamomile permeated through the kitchen as Tiffany dropped in a set of sugarcubes and stirred them in.
She leaned against the counter, rubbing at her neck with a hand as she mixed in a teaspoon of honey. The tension of Yuri missing had yet to go away. Even if Yuri was found, only a room away, to Tiffany it felt like she was still miles gone and withdrawn.
She wondered what to say, what to do, where to start. She wondered if Yuri would -
Clash!
Tiffany jumped at the sound of something smacking into water. The airy shrill of a gasp followed and she pushed away from the counter, tossing the spoon aside.
Running to the bathroom, Tiffany rushed in. Water painted the floor in large puddles pooling all the way to the entrance and soaking into the carpet at the door frame. But that was the least of her worries. In the tub was Yuri, arms flailing as she tried to pull herself up from the filling up water in the tub.
“Yuri!” She bolted across the hardwood.
Her knees banged against the porcelain as she knelt down, reaching into the hot water and pulled. Weak hands gripped onto her arms as Yuri was hoisted up, gasping and sputtering.
“Breathe, Yul. Breathe, it's okay, just breathe.”
She heaved, mouth open like a fish and eyes wide. Her red face was streaked with water pouring down off her forehead and dripping from her nose and chin. Matted black hair stuck wildly to her face, crisscrossing in weblike chaos across her eyes.
Tiffany smoothed her hand across her face, clearing hair away. The grip Yuri held on her arms was constricting, painful like a lifeline. Her chest heaved, shoulders rising and falling rapidly as she found her breath.
Tiffany guided her to sit against the back of the tub and turned off the running faucet. “What happened?”
“I- I…” she coughed, water sputtering from her mouth. Tiffany rubbed at her arm trying to calm her. Even through the hands clutching onto her, she could feel that Yuri was shaking. “I don’t know. I don’t know I was trying to- my legs- I fell in. I don’t know.”
The words shot off her lips in a whirlwind. Tiffany held onto every word trying to make sense of the jumbled explanation.
“Did you slip?” Yuri shook her head. “Did your legs…” Tiffany looked down into the water where Yuri’s legs were spread out along the bottom. They looked strong and thick as ever. When she made it back to Yuri’s face, her head was down. “They gave out.”
Yuri nodded, face still drawn away. Tiffany knew she was hiding the fact she was trying not to cry. It didn’t help. Tiffany felt the weight and realization of what those few words meant well up inside of her.
Tiffany took in a breath, steadying herself. “Let’s get you clean.” She went to pull her arms back but Yuri still held on. “You have to let me go, Yul.”
“I can’t.” Yuri’s voice cracked. Slowly, she brought her gaze back, water dripping off her face like tears. “Tiff, I can’t.”
Blinking away from her face, Tiffany took hold of one of Yuri’s hands on her arm and pried her fingers back until they were loose. Her one arm went splashing into the water along with the other. Reaching for the faucet knob, she plucked off a sponge and flipped open the cap of soap.
“Remind me to go to the store. We’re running low.” She shook the bottle until a big enough glob came out and pressed the sponge bristles to Yuri’s arm. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
Tiffany pushed on a smile as she started to rub along Yuri’s skin. The fruity scent of the soap filled the air strong. Yuri sniffled and Tiffany dipped the sponge into the water before smoothing it over the lather on her arm.
“I was thinking we could have Thai for dinner tomorrow.”
“Thai?”
“Mhm, does that sound good?”
“That sounds good.”
Squirting more soap onto the sponge, she smoothed it along Yuri’s chest. “Someone at the office recommended a place. We could order in maybe? Watch TV all night?”
“Yeah.”
“That sounds good, doesn’t it?”
“Sounds really good, Tiff.” Yuri’s shoulders shook, head tilted up as Tiffany scrubbed her neck. Thick, weighted tears spilt from the corners of her eyes and slid down the side of her face where they dripped off into the water.
“Better than good.” Tiffany smiled. She’d pretend that her own tears weren’t streaming down her face. “It sounds perfect.”
-/-/-/-
She moved carefully, lying down beside Yuri who stared up at the ceiling tucked deeply beneath the covers. Legs thrown under, Tiffany mirrored her position and remained still. It felt like there was a glass wall between them, solid and fragile but one neither wanted to tap and crack down just yet.
“I’m sorry I made you worry.” Said Yuri.
Immediately, “It’s okay.”
tick, tock, tick, tock
Time passed relentlessly painful. Tiffany swallowed hard. Yuri sucked in a jagged breath.
“I’m not mad at you.”
“You should be.” Tiffany frowned. “I shouldn't have said that to you.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I haven’t been fair to you.”
Her head dropped over, catching Yuri’s eyes. That familiar weight of sorrow she had seen recently was there adding onto the redness of her puffy eyes. Yuri licked her lips slowly, breathing shallow.
“I look at you and I’m so scared.”
“I know -”
“No, you don’t know. Let me finish. Please?” Yuri’s hand moved slowly beneath the covers. Tiffany opened hers letting cool fingers wrap around hers. “When I think about...it scares me that you’ll be left alone. Seeing you with Sunny and Yoona, listening to you, it felt like I was already gone, that you already moved on because you know I won’t be here.”
Tiffany’s heart quivered. “That’s not true, baby.”
“It’s so hard.” Her eyes closed, lip drawn between her teeth a moment as she regained herself. “Knowing I won’t be able to make you smile anymore, or laugh, or kiss you again it scares me and I can feel it everyday, Tiff. I can feel myself getting weaker and I ask myself every morning if it’ll be the day when you look at me and think it’s not worth it anymore and you’ll leave and never come back.”
When her eyes opened, they were glossy with unshed tears and when she spoke her voice was barely above a whisper against the faint turn up at the corner of her mouth.
“But you keep coming back.”
Tiffany squeezed her hand tighter, bringing it over to kiss at rigid knuckles. “I promised you to the end, Kwon Yuri.”
“But why does it have to be so soon?”
“I won’t ever leave you.” She reached over, thumbing at her cheek. “And I will always come home.”
“I love you.”
Leaning over, Tiffany touched a light kiss to her lips. “And I love you.”
-
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Tiffany/Yuri
Summary: Somewhere between beginnings and ends
AN: Beta credit to bobalub
Part III
Boxes, boxes, boxes.
Tiffany let out a heavy breath as she dropped the box in her arms to the floor. Her eyes looked around at the empty space crowded in cardboard boxes and fragments of furniture. She didn’t think relocating from the third floor to the first would’ve been so much work but she was already tired.
“Love what you’ve done with the place.”
Tiffany whipped around, mouth dropping open at the woman standing in the doorway. She lifted a pair of sunglasses from her eyes and winked, arms held out.
“Well, don’t just stand there. Show me some love.”
Tiffany skipped and bounced over boxes, foot nearly snagging in the process to make her way over and fall into Sunny’s waiting arms.
“I can’t believe it’s you.”
“Who else would it be?” She squeezed her tight and pulled back, hands holding Tiffany away from her at the waist. “Lemme look at you. I see wrinkles.”
Tiffany batted at the hand that started pinching at her cheek. “What’re you doing here?”
She stepped away, getting a good look at her old friend. She was still little as ever - small, compact, tiny ball of fun. Only difference she ditched the bright blonde that used to be on top of her head and traded it in for long, dark brunette hair. Tiffany would’ve thought it would make her look older. But Sunny still had that childish smile and rounded cheeks like she was fresh in her prime.
“I thought I’d come by and help. Make sure you didn’t throw out your back.” She stopped moving around the living room to peer over at Tiffany. In that one look, all was said. Sunny knew something was going on. “Where’s the sucker at anyway?”
“In bed.”
“Lazy ass.” Sunny pushed up the sleeves of her shirt. “So, where do we start?”
-/-/-/-
Beginnings were always fun. The newness, the flash, the flare. The grandeur and the pride of the shiny new thing on your arm.
The messages had flooded Tiffany's phone. Yuri was the worst distraction. Tiffany was forgetting grammar rules, reverting back to the structure of English when she should've been editing for Korean. Yuri was making her mind fuzzy.
"Your phone is surgically attached to your hand." Sunny would tease.
Yuri being between match seasons was to blame. She had too much free time on her hands and,
"Not enough time with you in my hands."
Tiffany blushed at that. Sunny fiend a gag as she drove them to her apartment.
Sometimes Tiffany would think they were too old for the slumber party thing. They were mid-twenty something women laughing about a guy playing on the stage with his fly down the entire time as he sang at some open mic Sunny had found around town during their wanderings.
But it felt so natural the way they flowed. Yuri’s hand was comfortable in hers and Sunny’s slaps on her shoulder were reassurance. They stumbled into Sunny’s apartment often - she liked it when the space felt full and alive.
“Take the couch.” Sunny would say.
Tiffany always felt like a massive kid when they had those nights. She felt like she was back in high school, sneaking kisses with that one academic girl in the wings of the auditorium, body shaking like a leaf but was nothing compared to the jackhammer shudders of the girl’s shoulders.
It took her back to high, loud, and fast fucks of nameless faces and nail polished painted fingers stroking her skin. Nights she’d keep secret from everyone - even herself - as she took off the mask of textbooks and the orderly and put on the one of wild, experimenting, and trying to find self.
“Sunny’s going to hear!”
“Not if you’re quiet.” Yuri’s strength was always at Tiffany’s disadvantage. But she was okay with that.
Yuri’s forceful pushes, the roughness in the way she pulled at her hair, the eager impatience in fingers that shed layers of fabric. The things that they’d get into in Sunny’s living room on the couch, on the floor, over the coffee table were dangerous acts all executed in the name of the game of how many times could they get away with it before they were caught.
Yuri was shameless and Tiffany found herself molding into that herself.
“I hate both of you.” Sunny said in the mornings over breakfast.
They ate on the floor in heaps of blankets with plates on the carpet and basking in the afterglow - for Tiffany and Yuri of each other while Sunny was perky from getting a crazy night out and a late morning in.
“You can have the couch when you two move in together.”
They giggled like little kids, blushing and flushing and laughing as they tackled Sunny and loved on her like the best friend she was.
“Get your lesbilove off me!”
“Sunny Oppa! Love us!
“Go to hell!”
-/-/-/-
They made a place on the floor sitting on opposite sides of some boxes pushed together. Tiffany had dug through one for a cloth and laid it over them for Sunny to dish out helpings of the rice cakes she had brought onto smudged plates Tiffany hunted down.
Tiffany stabbed into one and placed it into her mouth. The taste came over her like the past. Cooking lessons with Sunny, breakfasts on Sunny’s coffee table, wild talks and old stories about Sunny and Yuri’s childhood growing up and how weird it was that Tiffany found a way to fit herself into the picture and brought the other two back together.
The apartment was too quiet. It allowed Tiffany’s mind to wander too much. In the midst of all that was happening, she told herself she wouldn't dwell. That dwelling would make her miserable. But with Sunny sitting across from her and the familiar spices flooding her tongue she couldn't help it.
“Not even food’ll wake the beast?” Sunny asked, breaking the quiet. They should’ve switched on a radio but that was stored at the bottom of a box somewhere too.
“She helped a lot yesterday. I don’t think she has the strength for more right now. Did she call you?”
“What? Best friends can’t materialize out of thin air in times of need?” Sunny joked, laughing. She sobered quickly, fork playing with the sauce on her plate. “Yeah, she called. I knew something was up.”
“Did she tell you everything?”
Sunny nodded. “I don’t know who I should be angrier at for not telling me sooner. You or her?”
“We’ve both been in our own worlds lately. And Yuri’s parents…”
Tiffany trailed off. What sort of family disowned you to the point they wouldn't visit their daughter in the midst of an illness? Tiffany tried her best to convince them to visit, but she was working against the stubborn Mrs. Kwon and a Yuri who told them that if they couldn't handle the fact she was going to stay with Tiffany throughout the remainder of years they could go fuck themselves.
She and Yuri had a long argument about that conversation. Yuri’s verdict by the end of the night was that she had no family.
“You know I’m the only mom she’s ever had.” Said Sunny. “If she gets as much as a booboo you call me.”
“Yes, omma,” Tiffany muttered, smirking. Sunny had been like a mother to Yuri even if she wouldn't admit it.
“I booked a hotel room for a couple days to be close if you need anything.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I did it for myself,” Sunny waved her off with a hand. That hand was the symbol that no argument would be tolerate. “How is she anyway?”
Tiffany’s head teetered back and forth, mind searching for the right choice of words. Were there any? “She’s good.” She offered. The look on Sunny’s face said it wouldn't suffice. She took a breath. This was Sunny, she could let go in front of her. “She stays in bed most of the day. When Siwon told her she couldn’t compete anymore, I thought she’d lose it but she didn't do anything - she didn't say anything.”
“That’s the opposite of good.” Sunny pointed out. “That’s not like her.”
“You think I don’t know that? I can’t get her to leave the apartment.”
“She needs time.”
“We don’t have time.”
Sighing, Sunny shook her head. “Enough about this, it’s making me nauseous.”
“Sorry,” Tiffany propped her chin on fist. “I don’t have anyone else to really talk to about this.”
“Not saying my expert listening and advice skills as a radio talk show DJ aren’t substantial to most, but there are professionals. They did wonders for Bora.”
Tiffany smirked. Everyone knew Bora had a couple screws loose and an entire plate missing. She wondered what happened to the girl. Genius but totally bogus.
“But doesn’t that sound petty?”
“What about any of this is petty?”
“You’re right,” Sunny usually was. Except for when she wasn’t but Tiffany liked to think of those times as growing opportunities and self strengthening occurrences. “I’ll think about.”
“Good. Think.” Sunny shoveled one last ricecake into her mouth before dropping her fork down onto her plate and sat back on her hands. “Now, let me tell you about my life because I know you’re just dying to know all about it.”
-/-/-/-
Tiffany waited in the lobby, styrofoam cup of stale coffee in her fingers. Across the way she smiled at the receptionist who glanced her way. Looking at the clock, Tiffany sipped. She hadn’t done fieldwork in a long time. Her comfort zone was inside an office now not clutching a pen, pad, and voice recorder.
Sunye still out, Tiffany took the role of escorting Yoona to her first few interviews. The previous ones had been entertaining. Tiffany was able to sit in on those, watch the trainee fumble a bit and give necessary notes afterwards. This time, she let Yoona go in on her own. Tiffany wished she would’ve brought a book.
“Was that too long?”
Tiffany perked up at hearing Yoona’s voice. The girl came clicking into the lobby in heels and a pencil skirt that hugged her hips. She clutched her notebook close to her chest, eyes apologetic like a tardy kid on the first day of school.
Tiffany checked the time again. She may have run about fifteen minutes later than Tiffany would, but no interview could be set a definite time limit. Especially successful ones.
“Right on time,” Tiffany picked up her purse and stood. “How’d it go?”
Yoona made a face as she followed Tiffany out the doors. “There were times I felt like I was being interviewed.”
“Did he ask you anything personal?”
“I didn’t answer them.”
“Don’t give them the upper hand.” Tiffany instructed and Yoona nodded once they reached the car and slid in.
Tiffany always hated that. She would be there on business and the client would want to ask her things about her life, her job, her schooling, and top it all off by passing over a business card with an emphasis on call me under the guise of wanting to further discuss the topic at hand.
Tiffany smirked. How many of those business cards had Yuri ripped up when Tiffany brought them home? She always wondered what would’ve happened if she told them the truth,
“Actually, I am seeing someone. Her name is Yuri. Last week she won the Itaewon Womens Boxing Competition after getting a knock out with a high kick. She’s the cutest.”
Tiffany’s grin spread wider. Next time, she would definitely say something like that.
“You must be thinking about Yuri” Yoona’s voice brought her back to the stuffy car and the buzz of traffic outside. “You only smile like that when you think of her.”
“She’s the cutest.”
“Anyone would have to be if they’re with you.” Tiffany shared her grin with Yoona who reached over to flip on the radio. “Are you all moved in?”
Tiffany scrunched her nose, slowing them at a stoplight. “We’re trying.”
“Maybe I could come over and help?”
“Thank you but-” Tiffany turned to see Yoona’s bottom lip stuck out. Sometimes she did act like a kid. But not the loud, sticky hands kind. Tiffany laughed. “Why not? You can stay for dinner.”
“Speaking of dinner, do you want stop for lunch before we get back to the office?”
“Yes! I’m starving. Anything you have in mind?” Yoona shook her head, fingers tapping on her stocking covered knee to the music playing.
Hitting on her blinker, Tiffany switched lanes to head them down a strip she knew was full of restaurants. One look at the weather, maybe they’d be lucky enough to sit outside. Being out of the office made her feel lighter and being with Yoona with her cheesy smiles made things feel like they hadn’t turned upside down. It was nice to smile through a day and not bite on her nails as the hours ticked on.
Looking over, Tiffany caught Yoona’s eyes and smiled.
Yup, she thought as Yoona grinned, tucking a fallen piece of hair behind her ear, smiling through a day was so much better.
-/-/-/-
Dinner was Yoona’s treat. Some sizzling, juicy, doused in sauce chinese from a local joint that she and a couple of her friends used to frequent out of university. It was cheap but,
“I promise it’s good.” Yoona sat the bag of take out on the counter while Tiffany went to grab plates. She hated eating out of cardboard.
“It smells good.” It did. Tiffany kept her head tilted toward the aroma. Her mouth watered for the spicy tang that kept wafting into her nose.
“Here, I’ll do it.” Yoona took the plates out of Tiffany’s hands to set the table. It was a good thing she had taken off all the boxes and junk that had been piled on top of it. She hadn’t wanted to feed Yoona on their makeshift table.
“I’ll go get Yuri.”
“I’m here,” Tiffany turned to see Yuri in the doorway. Sleep still gripped her eyes as she combed a hand through her thick hair taming it from its bed head and looked to Yoona who stood by the table. “Hi.”
“Yul, I told you about Yoona.”
“Your babysitter,” she teased, eyeing Yoona as she bowed.
“It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Yeah, you too.” Yuri nodded. She moved slowly across the kitchen, grabbing onto the back of a chair to help her. “Where’re my meds?”
“Cabinet. I’ll get you a cup so you’ll have something to drink.” She hurried to the cabinet pulling out a glass while Yuri yanked open the fridge and took out a jug of water. She held the fridge open with her hip, fingers fumbling with the jug cap, trying to pull it off.
“Here, let me-”
“I can do it.” Yuri pulled back. Nail catching beneath the plastic, she popped off the top and took the glass away from Tiffany to pour.
“Would you like something to drink, Yoona?” Asked Tiffany, twisting off the pill bottle top.
Yoona pushed on a smile passed the empty look she had been watching them with. “Water is fine.”
“I put your pills on the counter, babe.” Tiffany turned her back.
She just got the cabinet door open when she heard the crash. A combination of glass and plastic smacking the tiled floor. She turned around just in time to see the shards go splattering across the floor and water splash along the lower cabinets.
A second of silence ticked by. Tiffany looked up at Yuri who was staring at the mess she had made. Her arms were limp at her sides, hanging like dead weight. When her eyes blinked up to meet Tiffany’s, the chaos started.
“Sorry,”
“It’s okay.”
“It slipped.”
“I know.”
“I can help,”
“It’s okay, Yoona.”
“I don’t mind.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Yul.” Tiffany dropped a dish rag into the puddle. It was instantly soaked. “Let me grab a towel.”
“I’ll get it,” Yoona moved from around the table. “Box labeled towels, right?”
Tiffany nodded as she crouched onto the floor. “We should sweep up the glass.” Her fingers picked at the larger pieces, tucking them into her palm. “I don’t remember where we put the broom.”
“I’m sorry.” Yuri muttered above her.
“It was an accident.”
“It slipped.”
“I know, baby,” Tiffany craned her neck up. Yuri’s focus was on her wet hand full of tiny pieces of glass. The look in her eyes was too empty and drawn. She was fighting to keep what she was really feeling in the background, away from Tiffany, away from Yoona, and away from herself.
Standing up, Tiffany pushed back her hair from her face. Her feet felt cold and sticky from the grime on the floor mixing with the water seeping between her toes. “Go ahead and eat, we’ll take care of it.”
“I’m not hungry.”
Tiffany sighed. “I’ll save yours for later. Take your medicine and go back to sleep.”
Yuri nodded slowly and drew away from the scene. Her steps were weighted and cautious as she maneuvered through the minefield of glass. At the door, her stride hitched just as Yoona was rounding the corner.
“Whoa,” Yoona caught her on the stumble. “You got it?”
Yuri pushed out of her hold and disappeared out of sight.
Taking the towels, Tiffany got down on all fours and started to clean. They worked in silence to the hum of the refrigerator and the clinking of glass dropping into the waste bin.
She dismissed Yoona after all the water had been soaked up and the glass dumped in the trash. She left with a thank you and assurance that it was okay.
Tiffany closed the door and went back into the kitchen where she fell into one of the dining chairs.
The food remained, gone cold and untouched.
-/-/-/-
“I want to show you something.”
Tiffany’s head tilted, tongue falling out to lick at the syrup that was sliding down the side of her hand. Sunny had put them out like the horny dogs they were but Tiffany didn’t let it wreck their routine.
Late night out leading to a late morning in. Blankets and pillows stripped off Yuri’s bed were strewn along the floor of the loft left in heaps from where they had slept. A plate of half eaten pancakes Tiffany had gotten up early to make sat between them, bottle of syrup getting sticky on the sheets.
Tiffany looked up over the large pillow she leaned over on her stomach, legs swinging in the air behind her. Before her was Yuri, tongue catching a string of syrup that dripped off a chunk of pancakes she held over her mouth.
“Like what?”
Yuri finished chewing before she answered. A line of syrup had fallen just below her collarbone. Tiffany couldn't resist the urge to clean it off and got up, licking at the sweetness. Yuri couldn't just take that and held her chin in place, kissing Tiffany with warm sugar coated lips.
“My secret lair,” Yuri spoke once she let Tiffany go.
She sank back into her comforter, pulling it up around naked shoulders. Naked mornings surrounded by the smells of breakfast and thick blankets with her girl was how she wanted to spend the rest of her life.
“Where is this secret layer?”
“It’s…” Yuri cut off another chunk of pancakes and offered it to Tiffany. She took it with a smile and chewed. “A secret.”
Tiffany rolled her eyes. “Aren’t you a little old to have a secret lair?”
“Aren’t you a little old to be fed by someone else?”
“It’s not my fault you baby me.”
“Would wittle Tiff-Tiff like her bwottle?”
Tiffany stuck out her tongue. “Could a baby do what I did to you last night?”
“We learn how to suck before we can bite.”
Tiffany’s mouth dropped as Yuri laughed. Her head fell back, messy hair waving as the laughter rolled through her. Tiffany couldn’t help her own laugh from bubbling up. She knew all of Yuri’s laughs. From the tiny, fake guffaws to the eye watering hysterics. She loved every one of them and their infectiousness. Tiffany wished she could take one in her hands and drink it down.
“Wha!” Yuri squealed as Tiffany tackled her into the blankets.
She lapped at the still sticky spot on Yuri’s chest, hands coming up to thread in tangled hair followed by lips that sucked the last of Yuri’s laughter from her mouth and into her own lungs.
“I have my own secret lair to show you.” She breathed, legs falling onto either side of Yuri beneath her.
“But I’ve already been there.” Yuri purred.
Tiffany grinned against her jaw, taking Yuri’s wrist into her hand and leading it down. “Then you know exactly where to go.”
Wherever and whatever Yuri had wanted to show her was forgotten.
Oh well. They could get to that later. It was just felt so wrong to break morning routines.
-/-/-/-
Tiffany sighed as she rinsed her face and grabbed a towel to dry it off. Eyes up at the mirror, she saw Yuri come walking groggily into the bathroom with a set of clothes in hand. Dropping them onto the sink counter, she sank down to sit on the toilet cover.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” Tiffany smiled, squeezing a glob of toothpaste onto the bristles of her toothbrush.
Yuri kept quiet, hands pulling up the base of her shirt and threw it to the floor. “You were home late.”
“I had a few things to finish at the office.”
“Like?” Asked Yuri after she switched on the tub, letting the water get warm.
“Yoona wanted me to listen to one of her interview recordings. I wanted to finish and write down notes in one sitting.”
“Who is she anyway?”
“Yoona? You met her,” scooping water into her mouth, Tiffany gargled and spat it out. Grabbing a towel, she dried off her face. “Friend from work.”
“Just a friend?”
Tiffany spun the sink knob and stopped. Her eyes met Yuri’s that stared up at her through thick lashes and surrounded by dark circles and sharp cheeks. There was no joke in her expression and no tease in her tone.
“What are you getting at?”
“What are you two getting at?”
Tiffany pursed her lips. Anger welled up in her chest and pricked at the corner of her eyes. She blinked back threatening tears. “It isn’t like that.”
“It’s not?” Yuri’s eyebrow cock accusatory. Tiffany couldn’t handle that.
She turned to go. “I’m not going to listen to this right now.”
“Why?” Yuri called at her back. “Because I’m right?”
“No,” Tiffany stood at the doorway. She looked back at her over her shoulder. “Because I can’t believe you’d think I would ever do something like that to you.”
“It would be the best time to do it.” Yuri took a stab. Tiffany felt it at the base of her gut and twist. “I won’t be around to get hurt. No reason to feel sorry.”
“She’s a friend, Yul. She’s done nothing but help us.”
“Who asked her to help?”
“Who asked for you to get sick?” The words left her mouth before she could think them through. And the rest came easily like acid off her tongue and darts into Yuri. “Who’s working twice as hard to make sure you’re okay? Who’s telling me it’s going to be okay? That’s it’s okay to cry and it’s okay to feel like you’ve screwed up and that I don’t have to shoulder all of this alone? If it’s not you then who am I supposed to go to, Yuri? Who?”
Silence stretched between them. Water continued to run in the background like a deafening waterfall. Tiffany wished it were. She wished she could jump off of it and drown herself for everything she had just said.
Yuri’s eyes remained hard and focused on her, fist curled on her knees and mouth slightly parted in a state of shock.
“I’m sorry.” She murmured on a shuddering break.
Without another word, she left the bathroom, left the apartment, and drove until she was somewhere not even the city behind her could hear her cries.
-/-/-/-
The wheels of the shopping cart creaked endlessly as Tiffany pushed it through the store. In front of her Sunny moved from one shelf to the other, picking things off and placing them inside.
“And then he said, ‘Lee Soonkyu I’m going to marry you one day’. Who says shit like that anymore?” A case of strawberries dropped into the cart as Sunny’s laugh faded off and she turned to look at Tiffany. “Earth to Fany, come in Fany.”
“Sorry,” she leaned back just before Sunny could tap a case of yogurt against her head. She blinked back her thoughts that had been a repeating tape on what she had said to Yuri the night before. “Are those strawberries any good? They looked bruised.”
“And you look sour,” Sunny took the case of fruit out of Tiffany’s hand and dropped it down. “So are you going to tell me why you were at my hotel at three in the morning last night or are we going to keep pretending it was an impromptu sleepover and you missed me?”
Tiffany cringed despite the cushion of sarcasm Sunny put around the question. Leave it to her to ask the hard questions in a way that didn’t exactly make Tiffany want to tuck her tail and run but gave her enough push to draw the truth out of her.
“She asked me about Yoona last night. The one I told you about from work?” Tiffany waited for Sunny’s nod before continuing. “She accused me of cheating.”
Sunny’s mouth tugged into a frown. “Don’t take it personally.”
“How am I not supposed to take it personally?” Tiffany snapped and Sunny turned away, leading them out of earshot from other customers. “Maybe she’s right.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“Don’t do this again.” Sunny groaned.
“Do what?”
“Where you confuse yourself then confuse me and confuse everyone.” Sunny flicked her in the back of the head with a finger. “You’re both under a lot, stupid things get said, stupid feelings happen, and stupid people always make you think you’re being stupid but you’re not stupid.”
“How many times did you just say stupid?”
“Not the point, Fany.” Sunny knocked her knuckles against her forehead. Tiffany glared. “Yuri loves you and you love Yuri. You’re both scared. That’s it. You’re just scared. Hell, I’m even scared.”
“Sunny, I’m terrified.”
“So be terrified together.”
“But when I’m with Yoona…” She growled. “Maybe there is something.”
“Okay, stop.” Sunny moved around the cart to stand in front Tiffany. Taking her shoulders into her hands, Sunny squeezed, eyes trained on hers. “Do we have something?”
“No!” Tiffany made a face. Thinking about being with Sunny was like thinking about being with her own sister.
“Am I your friend?”
“Yes.”
“Do you feel better when I’m around and we get to talk?”
“Questionable, but yes.”
Letting go of her shoulders, Sunny moved to a shelf and plucked off a can of vegetables. “If you haven’t caught onto where I’m getting I question your intellect.”
“I get it.” Tiffany laughed, rounding them out of an aisle and headed toward the registers. “But it doesn’t take back what I said to her.”
“You know, a wise woman once told me that saying sorry is the fundamental step to gaining forgiveness and righting wrongs we have committed.”
“Who said that?”
“You did.”
Tiffany dropped her head. “I hate it when you’re right.”
“That’s why they keep me around.” Sunny patted her on the shoulder, teasingly. “Now here, buy me chocolate. You owe me.”
-/-/-/-
Tiffany balanced grocery bags in her arms and kicked the door closed behind her.
A silent apartment greeted her. What windows used to be open so sunlight could pour in were covered by dusty curtains. There was a stuffiness to the rooms, something worn down and dry to the touch.
“Yuri?” She called out as she placed the bags on the kitchen counter.
No reply.
“Yuri?” She flicked on the light of their bedroom to an empty bed of unmade sheets.
Padding to the bathroom, Tiffany began to panic as she threw back the dark shower curtain to an empty, stark white, bathtub.
“Yuri!”
She moved quickly, running back through the apartment and clawed at the sliding door to the balcony.
Yuri was nowhere in sight.
Doubling back, Tiffany looked at the empty space beside her own shoes. She hadn’t noticed Yuri’s weren't there on the way in but she had seen Yuri’s keys still there when she hung her own up.
Digging her phone from her purse, Tiffany hit speed dial for Yuri.
Ring -
Hey, it’s Yuri. You know what to do.
Her phone was off.
Scrolling through her contacts, she punched her thumb on the next number that sprang to mind.
“Hey, forget something?”
“Yuri’s gone.”
Sunny was quiet a moment. The words felt false even on her own tongue.
“I’m on my way.”
-/-/-/-
“She wasn’t at the cafe.”
Even in her exhausted state, Tiffany couldn't unwind enough to slump back against her seat. “Thank you, Yoona.”
“No problem. You said she might be at The Cup?”
“Maybe.”
“I’ll check there.” The call ended.
Tiffany lowered her phone into her lap, hands clutching it tightly as Sunny pulled them from the parking lot of the gym. “I could’ve sworn she would be here.”
“Siwon said she hasn’t called him?”
“No. And I don’t know who else she’d call but us, Siwon or -” Horror struck her. “There isn’t an or, Sunny, what’re we going to do?”
“She couldn't have gone far.”
“This is all my fault.”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Sunny reached over, grabbing onto her thigh. “We all need our space now and then. Maybe she doesn’t want to be found.”
“Because of me.”
“She’ll come back. Like a puppy.” Sunny tried.
Tiffany glared. She appreciated the effort but nothing felt it could appease her now.
Tiffany’s phone rang. She almost leapt for joy at the first letter until she read the rest of the name. Her relief evaporated almost as quickly as the false one had come.
“Not there either,” said Yoona.
“I didn’t think so. Thanks for trying.”
“Let me know if she turns up.”
“Any luck?” Asked Sunny.
“No.” Tiffany dropped her phone into her lap, body leaning against the door. She held her forehead in her fingers, massaging at it. “I messed up, Sunny. I really messed up.”
-/-/-/-
“Can I open them now?”
“No.”
“Now?”
“No, Tiff.”
“How about now?”
“For the love of God-”
“Kidding!” Tiffany sang, giggling at Yuri’s frustration. She palmed at Yuri’s arm that held onto her to lead her to Yuri’s face. Leaning in, she brushed a kiss to Yuri’s cheek. “I trust you. Lead me away!”
Yuri grumbled something under her breath as she started moving again, one hand on Tiffany’s arm while the other guided her by the waist. She didn’t know just how hard it was for Tiffany to keep her eyes closed without a blindfold. If it were anyone else, she would've already peeked.
“Why’re you excited anyway?”
“It’s your secret lair why shouldn’t I be?”
“I don’t want you getting any ideas of underground basements and secret stashes or anything.”
Tiffany perked up. “You have a secret stash?”
“Be quiet and keep walking.”
Tiffany fell silent, clutching onto Yuri as she was led up another flight of stairs. At first she might of had a feeling as to where Yuri was taking her, but there had been so many twists, turns, corners, ups, and downs that her already poor sense of direction had been thrown for a loop.
“Are we almost there?”
“Shh!”
Biting on her lip, Tiffany scolded herself into no more talking and allowed herself to be led along a flat surface, stairs left behind. The further down they went, the colder Tiffany felt. She shivered as a cold breeze hit her face followed by a heavy gust of wind that came after the screech and creaking of metal.
“Yuri?” Her brow furrowed, willing herself not to open her eyes.
“Almost there,” Yuri whispered close by her ear.
Tiffany trusted her enough to take her across ground that felt like concrete beneath her soles. She strained her ears to hear anything past the whoosh of wind and the shivering breaths in her own lungs. Just faintly she could pick up the sound of cars and the hum of a plane.
“Yul, where are we?”
“See for yourself.”
Tiffany squinted her eyes in the cold wind that pricked harshly at them. Blinking past the sting, she could see the spread of a roof surrounding them. Faint lights from neighboring buildings glowed around them in bright sparks of yellows, oranges, and whites.
Turning her head, she spotted Yuri grinning at her. “This is your secret lair?”
Her smile dulled slightly. “I told you not to expect anything.”
“I don’t get it. How is this a secret?”
“This is where I come to think.”
“You think?”
Yuri narrowed her eyes and stepped away to walk along the rooftop. “When my parents kicked me out, when I met you, when I need to make an important decision, I come up here.”
“So,” Tiffany started, walking up to stand beside her near the edge. Below she could see the headlights of cars zipping through the streets like ants. “The real secret is that you don’t want anyone to know that sometimes you’re really emo and like to sit on rooftops to write depressing poetry?”
“I don’t write poetry!” Yuri pouted, hands burying deep in her pockets. Tiffany snickered watching Yuri roll her eyes. “If I told you a secret would that make up for it?”
“Maybe,” Tiffany folded her arms over her chest, expression smug. “Depends on the secret.”
Something about Yuri’s face changed. Something about the way her jaw flexed and her posture went rigid. Tiffany felt her own pulse quicken when Yuri leaned down to cup her hands around her ear. Tiffany leaned into the warmth of her breath tickling against the side of her face.
She could hear everything from the lick of her lips to Yuri’s smile as she whispered. “I love you.”
Tiffany was too stunned - cheeks blazing pink, and stomach fluttering violently - to follow Yuri who bolted for the door leaving her in the cold alone.
It took ten minutes before Tiffany followed after and five minutes of knocking on Yuri’s loft door before she got a flushed, embarrassed face in the sliver of the door that she took into her freezing hands and kissed her deep.
“I love you, too.”
-/-/-/-
It was a long shot but Tiffany took the chance.
She clattered up the stairs with Sunny in tow, heart chanting that she was on the right path and mind racing of the possibilities she could find at the end of it.
“I hope you’re right.”
“I know I am.” Tiffany grunted as they reached the rooftop door and pushed it open.
Stepping out into the sunset, her eyes shifted one way to the next and all the way around again before they stopped on the tiny, balled up speck.
There she was.
Tiffany stalked across the apartment rooftop with hesitant steps. The force of the relief that struck her when Yuri’s eyes opened from where she sat on the ground tucked in the corner of the ledge nearly brought her to tears.
Reaching her, she sank down so she was level with Yuri’s empty face. Tiffany could just barely make out the quiver in her jaw as she shivered in the cold of the wind that pierced through her sweater. Her fingers pressed against Yuri’s cheek as she cupped it. She was freezing to the touch, skin dry and brittle looking.
“Yuri?”
“You found me.” She croaked, voice rough and chapped lips cracking as she spoke.
Wordlessly, Tiffany pulled Yuri into her. Her face fell against her chest heavily, burying into the heat of her body. Tiffany stroked at her greasy, tangled hair, crushing Yuri so tightly against her they could mold into one.
“I’m so tired, Tiffany.”
Pulling back, Tiffany held Yuri’s face in her palms. A thousand questions ran through her head and a million apologies sprang to her tongue. She swallowed all of them down. None of it mattered in that moment. Only the shuddering, freezing, limp body in front of her that had been found mattered.
Tiffany picked a strand of hair off Yuri’s face. “Let’s go home.”
Waving Sunny over, they lifted Yuri up, arms slung over both of their shoulders and holding her tightly around the waist.
No one said a words as they carried her back downstairs.
-/-/-/-
After dismissing Sunny home, Tiffany left Yuri in the bathroom to boil some tea. It was the only thing she knew could warm her up faster than a scalding bath and help put her to a restful sleep.
The run of the tub faucet in the distance took the air with the whistle of the tea kettle. Picking it off the stove, Tiffany poured some into a mug and eased in a teabag. The soothing smells of chamomile permeated through the kitchen as Tiffany dropped in a set of sugarcubes and stirred them in.
She leaned against the counter, rubbing at her neck with a hand as she mixed in a teaspoon of honey. The tension of Yuri missing had yet to go away. Even if Yuri was found, only a room away, to Tiffany it felt like she was still miles gone and withdrawn.
She wondered what to say, what to do, where to start. She wondered if Yuri would -
Clash!
Tiffany jumped at the sound of something smacking into water. The airy shrill of a gasp followed and she pushed away from the counter, tossing the spoon aside.
Running to the bathroom, Tiffany rushed in. Water painted the floor in large puddles pooling all the way to the entrance and soaking into the carpet at the door frame. But that was the least of her worries. In the tub was Yuri, arms flailing as she tried to pull herself up from the filling up water in the tub.
“Yuri!” She bolted across the hardwood.
Her knees banged against the porcelain as she knelt down, reaching into the hot water and pulled. Weak hands gripped onto her arms as Yuri was hoisted up, gasping and sputtering.
“Breathe, Yul. Breathe, it's okay, just breathe.”
She heaved, mouth open like a fish and eyes wide. Her red face was streaked with water pouring down off her forehead and dripping from her nose and chin. Matted black hair stuck wildly to her face, crisscrossing in weblike chaos across her eyes.
Tiffany smoothed her hand across her face, clearing hair away. The grip Yuri held on her arms was constricting, painful like a lifeline. Her chest heaved, shoulders rising and falling rapidly as she found her breath.
Tiffany guided her to sit against the back of the tub and turned off the running faucet. “What happened?”
“I- I…” she coughed, water sputtering from her mouth. Tiffany rubbed at her arm trying to calm her. Even through the hands clutching onto her, she could feel that Yuri was shaking. “I don’t know. I don’t know I was trying to- my legs- I fell in. I don’t know.”
The words shot off her lips in a whirlwind. Tiffany held onto every word trying to make sense of the jumbled explanation.
“Did you slip?” Yuri shook her head. “Did your legs…” Tiffany looked down into the water where Yuri’s legs were spread out along the bottom. They looked strong and thick as ever. When she made it back to Yuri’s face, her head was down. “They gave out.”
Yuri nodded, face still drawn away. Tiffany knew she was hiding the fact she was trying not to cry. It didn’t help. Tiffany felt the weight and realization of what those few words meant well up inside of her.
Tiffany took in a breath, steadying herself. “Let’s get you clean.” She went to pull her arms back but Yuri still held on. “You have to let me go, Yul.”
“I can’t.” Yuri’s voice cracked. Slowly, she brought her gaze back, water dripping off her face like tears. “Tiff, I can’t.”
Blinking away from her face, Tiffany took hold of one of Yuri’s hands on her arm and pried her fingers back until they were loose. Her one arm went splashing into the water along with the other. Reaching for the faucet knob, she plucked off a sponge and flipped open the cap of soap.
“Remind me to go to the store. We’re running low.” She shook the bottle until a big enough glob came out and pressed the sponge bristles to Yuri’s arm. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
Tiffany pushed on a smile as she started to rub along Yuri’s skin. The fruity scent of the soap filled the air strong. Yuri sniffled and Tiffany dipped the sponge into the water before smoothing it over the lather on her arm.
“I was thinking we could have Thai for dinner tomorrow.”
“Thai?”
“Mhm, does that sound good?”
“That sounds good.”
Squirting more soap onto the sponge, she smoothed it along Yuri’s chest. “Someone at the office recommended a place. We could order in maybe? Watch TV all night?”
“Yeah.”
“That sounds good, doesn’t it?”
“Sounds really good, Tiff.” Yuri’s shoulders shook, head tilted up as Tiffany scrubbed her neck. Thick, weighted tears spilt from the corners of her eyes and slid down the side of her face where they dripped off into the water.
“Better than good.” Tiffany smiled. She’d pretend that her own tears weren’t streaming down her face. “It sounds perfect.”
-/-/-/-
She moved carefully, lying down beside Yuri who stared up at the ceiling tucked deeply beneath the covers. Legs thrown under, Tiffany mirrored her position and remained still. It felt like there was a glass wall between them, solid and fragile but one neither wanted to tap and crack down just yet.
“I’m sorry I made you worry.” Said Yuri.
Immediately, “It’s okay.”
tick, tock, tick, tock
Time passed relentlessly painful. Tiffany swallowed hard. Yuri sucked in a jagged breath.
“I’m not mad at you.”
“You should be.” Tiffany frowned. “I shouldn't have said that to you.”
“It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I haven’t been fair to you.”
Her head dropped over, catching Yuri’s eyes. That familiar weight of sorrow she had seen recently was there adding onto the redness of her puffy eyes. Yuri licked her lips slowly, breathing shallow.
“I look at you and I’m so scared.”
“I know -”
“No, you don’t know. Let me finish. Please?” Yuri’s hand moved slowly beneath the covers. Tiffany opened hers letting cool fingers wrap around hers. “When I think about...it scares me that you’ll be left alone. Seeing you with Sunny and Yoona, listening to you, it felt like I was already gone, that you already moved on because you know I won’t be here.”
Tiffany’s heart quivered. “That’s not true, baby.”
“It’s so hard.” Her eyes closed, lip drawn between her teeth a moment as she regained herself. “Knowing I won’t be able to make you smile anymore, or laugh, or kiss you again it scares me and I can feel it everyday, Tiff. I can feel myself getting weaker and I ask myself every morning if it’ll be the day when you look at me and think it’s not worth it anymore and you’ll leave and never come back.”
When her eyes opened, they were glossy with unshed tears and when she spoke her voice was barely above a whisper against the faint turn up at the corner of her mouth.
“But you keep coming back.”
Tiffany squeezed her hand tighter, bringing it over to kiss at rigid knuckles. “I promised you to the end, Kwon Yuri.”
“But why does it have to be so soon?”
“I won’t ever leave you.” She reached over, thumbing at her cheek. “And I will always come home.”
“I love you.”
Leaning over, Tiffany touched a light kiss to her lips. “And I love you.”
-
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2013-11-04 05:32 am (UTC)But i'll still gladly take this spot right here for later~~
no subject
Date: 2013-11-06 04:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-07 01:44 pm (UTC)Sadness aside, these update really to bring around lots of emotions. I laugh, i *almost* cry and i smile just at the simplest things. It's a story i never want to end, because i'm guessing it's not going to be all happy rainbows and unicorns.
Yesss they blessed the couch!
Sunny is adorable, i love the mother feel she has going on, it's really befitting.
So much romance and angst in the same chapter. WHY CAN'T I HOLD ALL THESE FEELS? I'm glad YulTi got their shit together come the end of this chapter.
Ugh this is amazing. Love it. Can't wait for mooooore
no subject
Date: 2013-11-04 07:08 am (UTC)So much tension and the degradation of Yuri's body and the relationship....(though, it's looking more promising towards the end of this chapter)
Those flashbacks are everything. I love the back and forth in that respect. The secret lair thing was very romantic. :3 I love the line about Tiffany wanting to drink Yuri's laughs.
btw: Bestie!Sunny. I heart her so much. IalsohearttemptressYoona. Omg my priorities.
uggggghhhh I love this story so much. SO MUCH.
no subject
Date: 2013-11-06 04:51 pm (UTC)YulTI is strong even in the tension and degradation. They try even in the midst of it all.
Keep loving Sunny. You'll get more of her andalsotemptressyoona omgscrewpriorities!
;3
btw I need to finish who gets the girl o_o
no subject
Date: 2013-11-07 02:56 am (UTC)You'll get more of her andalsotemptressyoona omgscrewpriorities!---rubs hands together. Ahhhh yes. Glad we see eye-to-eye. >:3
Ooooh. Hope you like the rest of WGTG. Finish it whenevs. ^^
no subject
Date: 2013-11-04 09:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-06 04:52 pm (UTC)cry a river
Date: 2013-11-05 01:26 am (UTC)i know that when she said it it's really is... it feels so familiar you know?
She’d pretend that her own tears weren’t streaming down her face. “It sounds perfect.” - I break again, I'm so sad :(
They're so perfect why can't.....and Yuri's confession "that you already moved on because you know I won’t be here.”
I can't. It's like the perfect tragedy romance.
You write so well
----
I fucking cried. I don't know what to say? This is so depressing, and I never want to read these kind of story and I hate you so much for writing so well and makes me cry. You're truly an inspiration for me to learn from. I want to read these kind of story that makes people feel touched.
Re: cry a river
Date: 2013-11-06 04:54 pm (UTC)Re: cry a river
Date: 2013-11-07 01:52 am (UTC)what can i do in this situation? OTL
i demand a fluffy yulti next time.....
:)
no subject
Date: 2013-11-06 04:15 am (UTC)this comment has taken so long i've just been sitting here feeling sad and not knowing what to say.
i guess just wanted to say you are excellent at this, and i feel like a masochist because what alternative ending can this fic have, but it's too good to stop reading now. thanks for the update!
no subject
Date: 2013-11-06 04:57 pm (UTC)Thank you, as always. Keep some tissues handy =)
no subject
Date: 2013-11-06 07:40 pm (UTC)Okay not really but... I think I will, when the time comes. Like, for example, the next update (because oh well, Yuri's dying!)
So glad Sunny's such a supporting character (or a mother) to YulTi!
Till the next update! :)
no subject
Date: 2013-11-26 03:37 am (UTC)Making me all sad and depress before going to bed?
Anyway, the story is interesting.
Is very sad a that Yuri a strong soul is dying.
And Tiffany has to watch her love slipping away from her slowly and painfully